Relationships and courtships can be so exciting and fun. Once you meet someone you like, it’s almost impossible to fight off the urge to be with them all the time. This creates the expectation that two people who like each other should be talking every day but what happens if that’s not the case in your relationship? This brings us to the topic of today’s article, what does it mean if he can go a day without talking to you?
Believe it or not, if he can go a day without talking to you, it means that he’s not codependent and is busy pursuing his career or goals and dreams. This is good because it creates some desire and longing for each other due to the healthy amount of distance.
However, I would be remiss not to include some of the negative ramifications associated with him going a day without talking to you.
It could mean that he’s not good at communicating, he’s not as invested or interested in talking to you as much as you are.
Alternatively, it could simply mean that he prefers quality time with you over quantity or he doesn’t want to appear desperate by talking to you all the time.
This doesn’t automatically make it a bad thing so long as he makes an effort to communicate regularly, meets you often, is romantic and committed to being with you.
If you find that he can go a day without talking to you and isn’t excited and enthusiastic when the two of you eventually talk, then there’s something to be concerned about.
Coming from me, a man, I can tell you that I would feel weird about not talking to my partner for more than a day.
At the very least, I would check in with her to inform her if I’m extremely busy and can’t talk to her for a day or so because I need to take care of some things.
But, the last time she and I went a day without talking to each other even for a few minutes was never.
I will say this, not all men are built for texting.
We had a long-distance relationship so we had no choice but to communicate via text and calls at first. We both made an effort to text daily so that we can maintain our relationship during those weeks when we couldn’t see each other.
If we weren’t in a long-distance relationship, then it’s not out of the ordinary for partners to not communicate for a day because they’re busy.
In fact, when I was dating a few years back, I wouldn’t talk to someone I liked every single day because I was busy and she was too.
It was only when the courtship heated up and we started officially dating that we would agree to communicate daily.
Bear that in mind because it’s an important distinction.
With that being said, let’s dive deep into all the possible explanations for what it means if he can go a day without talking to you.
Related post: My boyfriend reads my texts but doesn’t reply
1. He’s not codependent
Codependency is often defined as a circular relationship wherein both people cannot function without each other.
As ‘romanticized’ as this may be, it’s not actually healthy and often leads to a host of negative effects such as:
- Feeling worthless without the other person.
- Losing your sense of identity.
- Increased anxiety and depression.
- Neglecting responsibilities and other members of your social circle.
- Sacrificing one’s own needs and wants for the other person.
A relationship should add to your life, not subtract important components from it.
The fact that he can go a day without talking to you could very well mean that he has a well-balanced life and chooses to be with you rather than needing to be with you.
This is good because it gives you time to focus on other important areas of your life while also knowing that when you do talk and see him again, it’s because you both want to be with each other.
2. He’s busy pursuing his career or goals and dreams
A high-quality man isn’t going to sit around all day texting you.
On the contrary, he’s going to prioritize some time towards being a functioning member of society.
Those goals and dreams that he’s working towards are going to add depth to his character.
Apart from that, the man he’s becoming is someone who will not only be a good partner but also a good father, a good son, a good employee or employer and a good person.
He’s also going to be a lot more happy and more fun to be around because he’s working towards something.
Being ambitious and hard-working never fails to make people grow into better human beings, as long as they’re directing it towards good goals and dreams.
When he does talk to you after a day or so, you can be sure as hell that he’ll have a lot to tell you and he’ll be excited to talk to you.
3. He’s not good at communicating
When I was younger, I made the mistake of assuming that everyone was either good or comfortable with communicating healthily and regularly but I was so wrong.
It’s just not the case.
You’ll definitely run into some people who struggle to communicate, even if they want to or you want them to.
The problem is that communication is essential for a relationship to survive and thrive.
Unfortunately, you can’t force someone to communicate properly. You can encourage them and even help them do so but you can’t make them.
The difference between someone who is busy and someone who is bad at communicating is that the former will be very forthcoming, enthusiastic and engaged in a conversation with you whilst the latter will not.
You’ll find yourself asking all the questions and doing all the talking during the few conversations you have with him and that’s a red flag.
Related post: If a guy doesn’t contact you for a day
4. He’s losing interest
The way to tell whether this is a sign of him losing interest or not is to compare how often he would talk to you versus how often he talks to you now.
Keep in mind that acute cases do not count.
If he had a loss in the family or was dealing with a crazy deadline or work, it’s not a problem or something to even worry about.
There are going to be times when this happens and he’ll get back to communicating with you daily as he used to.
If he started off talking to you daily and this has been the way things have been for weeks until recently, then there’s something to worry about.
Couple this with a lack of enthusiasm to communicate, poor replies when you reach out to him and a lackluster explanation for why he didn’t text or call you, then it’s possible that he’s losing interest.
Related post: Why isn’t he texting me?
5. He prefers quality time with you over quantity
Talking every day has its benefits and it’s something that even I practice in my own relationship but it’s not something everyone chooses to do.
Different people will prefer different levels of communication in a relationship.
He could very well be one of those guys who prefers to talk less in the week on the phone so that he can share everything with you in person when you’re together.
This approach often allows both of you to have exciting and full conversations since you didn’t talk as much on a daily basis.
If you’re in a new relationship, I’m more than certain that the two of you will get into a rhythm that suits the two of you.
Just remember, a bit of space in a relationship is healthy.
If everything else is going well, then this isn’t something to worry about at all.
6. He’s trying not to appear desperate
I know that right now we’re discussing an issue about a guy not talking for a day but you’d be surprised how the majority of men are known to talk women out of their lives.
Too much talking can be unhealthy.
It can lead to unnecessary misunderstandings and conflicts, it can remove uncertainty and excitement, it can prevent the two of you from getting to miss each other and it can make someone appear to be desperate, needy and clingy.
Men who are afraid of coming across as desperate will tend to shy away from texting all the time.
They would rather wait for you to reach out than to be texting you all the time.
Perhaps this is his way of remaining in control of himself and not messing things up by talking every single day right now.
Related post: Should I text him or wait?
What should you do in this situation?
Text him or give him a call.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with reaching out and letting him know that you miss him and hopes he’s having a good day.
The ‘trick’ to this is your approach and demeanor.
If you approach him in a loving, sweet and unbothered way, you’re not going to come off as desperate or problematic.
If you choose to grill him about it and start causing an issue, it’s going to diminish your value.
At the end of the day, you’re the prize here. You’re the loving, awesome and genuine woman who is giving him love and attention.
There’s no need for you to be chasing after him.
Sometimes, you just have to give people space to miss you and the opportunity to choose you.
Here’s one last thing I want you to remember, don’t triple text him.
If you double text him, that’s okay but thereafter, wait for him to reply.
Don’t blow his phone up with texts or calls because that’s not something you need to be doing with someone who wants to be with you.
Before you leave, I just want you to remember that you are a woman of value and depth. If someone can’t appreciate what you have to offer, then you have every right to call them out on it or leave.
I’m not saying that this is grounds for such a drastic decision but if it’s something that bothers you, there’s really nothing wrong with having an honest and non-confrontational conversation about it.
If he can go a day without talking to you, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he doesn’t enjoy talking to you or is losing interest.
But, if that happens to be the case, then it’s up to you to decide whether you want to spend your precious time on someone like this.
With that being said, I hope you found this article be insightful and helpful. If you have any questions or thoughts that you would like to share with me, please do so by visiting the comment section below.
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