Let’s say that you’re interested in someone, you’ve tried to win his affection but you’re worried about him losing interest. Things were hot and heavy at first but now he isn’t anywhere to be found. If a guy doesn’t text you for a week, here’s what you need to do.
Either send him a short and ambiguous message or initiate no contact with him. You may even post a hot selfie or an update about something good that’s going on in your life.
What you don’t want to do is chase him or try to ascertain a reason why he hasn’t replied to you.
If he genuinely cares, he’ll give you a reason for why he hasn’t texted you in a week.
If he has lost interest, you’ll find that he doesn’t address it at all nor does he make an effort to explain why he has been missing in action.
Unless he has a very plausible and understandable reason for why he couldn’t carve out a minute to reply to your text in a week, you really need to consider making some changes to your approach because he is either losing interest or entertaining other prospective love interests.
The advice below is designed to maximize your chances of winning his heart and attraction back without belittling yourself or diminishing your self-worth.
But before we get into the nitty-gritty of what you should do if a guy doesn’t text you for a week, let’s talk about what you shouldn’t do at all.
Related post: How to give him space to miss you and come back
What you shouldn’t do if a guy stops replying to your texts
If you’re thinking about chasing him, don’t do it.
Do not do it at all!
By chasing him, you only make yourself look more desperate, needy and clingy. None of these traits or characteristics make you appear attractive to him.
They have an adverse effect when a guy is already losing interest in you.
It will make him undervalue your attention and effort even more because you’re giving it to him without any work whatsoever.
Think about this – chasing him amounts to rewarding subpar behavior. What kind of message does that send?
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Nothing good, I can tell you that much. People who consider themselves to be of high value and who possess self-respect would not reward someone for this sort of behavior.
On the flip side, you also don’t want to react negatively and lash out to him.
Why?
Unless he is in a relationship with you, he actually isn’t under any obligation to reply to you.
Neither of you are.
It may be considered rude and disrespectful but that’s a risk you take when trying to find love and romance.
By lashing out, demanding an explanation or losing your cool, it may depict you to be controlling, crazy or weird.
There was this woman I was getting to know for a short while. I was dealing with the passing of a family member and had not replied to her for 2 days.
When I eventually replied to her on the 3rd day, she was acting cold, weird and passive-aggressive.
She called me and literally had an outburst on the phone. She cried and even insulted me.
At which point, I had enough and cut the call. My contention was simply that I was dealing with a crisis. We were only speaking for about 2 weeks. This reaction was uncalled for and inappropriate.
Needless to say, I lost interest and moved on.
We spoke a few times thereafter and I tried to look past that event.
However, it became more and more clear to me that this particular girl was just not the one for me and that outburst was to repeat. I did not ignore the warning signs and have no regret for running in the opposite direction of her.
The point of this story is to indicate how lashing out and acting erratic can blow up in your face. You have very little to gain from it.
It’s okay if you double text but you absolutely want to avoid triple texting him altogether.
Send him a short and ambiguous message
In a lot of cases, I advise people to avoid double texting because if they receive no reply to that text, then they face the pain of rejection or concern all over again.
Because they caved and double texted, it becomes easier to triple text and then just unravel altogether.
So, if you’re someone who has a difficult time being patient and maintaining emotional self-control, I would advise you to skip this step and just wait for him to reach out again in the future.
When sending a double text, keep it short and sweet.
Don’t send essays or multiple texts. A quick and simple text is enough to get his attention.
You don’t want him to think that you’re upset that he hasn’t texted you in a week. Concern, however, is a good approach. It shows him that you care but in a nurturing and kind way.
“Hey, thinking about you. Hope you’re okay.”
There’s nothing desperate about this text nor is it demanding anything from him.
As I said, I don’t advocate double texting but if you’re going to do it, I’d rather you send something ambiguous and simple like this text than something elaborate which actually reeks of desperation.
When you send this text, do not follow it up with another. I forbid you from triple texting him. You must wait for his reply.
Now, let’s assume he replies, don’t open his message immediately. Make him wait for some time, especially if you notice from his reply that he seems unexcited or is cagey.
He just made you wait for a week before replying to your texts, there’s nothing wrong in making him wait a day or two for yours.
Now, instead of you being the one on the waiting end, he is.
And while he’s waiting, certain thoughts may pop into his head. He may have been expecting you to be eagerly waiting for his reply.
So much so, that you would have replied immediately or blown his phone up with calls.
The fact that you are waiting to reply will plant a seed of doubt in his mind. Perhaps, his assessment of you was wrong. Maybe you aren’t as interested or into him as he thought.
Suddenly, you’re no longer the woman he has wrapped around his finger.
You’re now the one who may be losing interest or entertaining someone else’s attention.
The fear of loss creates or influences the value of worth in something or someone. Always remember that.
Related post: How to make a guy chase you by ignoring him
Do nothing and initiate no contact
This is probably the hardest thing to do right now but if the situation calls for it, you have to initiate no contact without saying anything to him.
So, when should you initiate no contact?
If you find that he is online but ignoring your texts, posting social media updates as if life is normal or simply reading your texts but not replying. If you feel like you’re being ghosted, then it’s probably a good idea to use no contact.
No contact means eliminating any and all communication with him. Do not text him or interact with him on any social networking platforms unless he directly messages you or calls.
By doing no contact, you are making the decision to allow this situation to play out in whatever way it will.
You’re not going to interfere with it by chasing him or doing something that diminishes your self-worth and self-respect.
No contact, in my experience, is the number one way of asserting your worth.
If someone isn’t willing to make an effort to talk to you or maintain the relationship, then they should be prepared to watch you walk away.
Trust me, if a guy is trying to ghost you or reject you without actually saying anything, this is your only move to make that doesn’t damage your self-image.
In fact, it’s a power move. You’re choosing your own well being over him and the situation.
Most guys expect you to unravel and chase after them. This doesn’t make you appear anymore attractive to them.
On the contrary, it’s damaging. Using no contact guarantees that you avoid chasing him and it improves your ability to exercise emotional self-control.
Related post: Will he miss me if I leave him alone?
Eventually, he’s going to reach out and come back. If there’s even a sliver of attraction left, he’ll text you in the future.
When he realizes that you may have moved on, if he gets rejected by someone else or if he feels alone, he’ll think about you and reach out to find some comfort and hope.
At that point, you’ll have control over the interaction. Being in this position of power will afford you the ability to dictate what happens next.
That’s honestly one of the greatest effects of using the no contact rule properly.
Act normally online
It may seem a tad bit childish but it’s a great way to strip the perception and power from someone who thinks that you are probably going to unravel when they stop talking to you.
Most women will attest to this idea. You don’t win a man’s attention by being mopey and depressed when he seems to lose interest in you.
You’re better off doing nothing at all than letting him know that you desperately wish he was still around.
Be tactical and selective when sharing things online. Don’t post about other guys directly. Don’t act as if everything is absolutely perfect because he’ll suspect that you are doing it to get back at him.
Just go on as normal. Be positive, share a hot selfie of yourself or be playful online.
Subtle hints of happiness and contentment in your dating life are fine as well. But, if you’re not good at being tactful and deliberate in your social media, avoid this step.
By acting normal and positive, it will make him consider the possibility that you really weren’t all that into him. That may bruise his ego and cause him to reconsider his position.
Alternately, your positive behavior online may remind him of the reasons why he originally liked you.
Rather than fear that you will be angry or crazy when he reaches out again, he’ll feel as if you’ll be more receptive and calm.
Either way, it depicts you in a good, attractive and healthy manner in comparison to emo, negative and distasteful posts.
Focus on yourself
During this time, I can relate to how difficult it is to stay composed when someone you genuinely like has disappeared.
It’s only natural to think about them and the situation but that can quickly turn into overthinking. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself in a state of anxious desperation.
Try to avoid doing this by focusing on yourself. Redirect your attention to work, your fitness, other people or family.
I tend to remind myself that there is a greater plan at play and if God wills it, things will work out between us or I will find someone better. Looking back at my own life, this feels incredibly true.
Surrender your love life to destiny and you may just find some control over yourself during anxiety filled moments.
What I can promise you is that no matter what happens, you won’t regret spending extra time on your own self when he disappeared.
With that being said, I’d just like to conclude this article by saying that if a guy doesn’t text you for a week, there’s nothing to worry about.
It’s highly possible that something has happened in his life that has consumed all his attention. If so, then he’ll be back soon.
Alternately, if he has lost interest now, then inaction and no contact is the best solution. Always remember, someone who doesn’t see your true worth is not someone you need in your life.
Chasing after him is a foolish errand if he is trying to reject or ghost you.
I hope you found some clarity in this article on what to do if a guy doesn’t text you for a week. Feel free to share your thoughts or questions in the comment section below and I’ll be sure to reply.
Hello
I loved reading this, it really helped. I recently spent an evening with someone I knew for about a year. I’m a nurse and he’s a Dr. I text him 2 days later and he responded. I text two days later and a fun selfie 3 days later. I know … no more. I’m patiently hopeful
And I’m on lockdown hoping to hear if not I will move on. What do U think?
Hey Darcie,
I’m glad you enjoyed the article. If he hasn’t replied to your last 2 texts, I probably wouldn’t text him right away again if I were you. There’s no way he won’t see them so if you start to feel like texting him again would be like you’re chasing him, then you’d be right. Listen to your gut instincts in these kinda situations.
Thanks for the article! I came here looking for answers as well. 4 days ago during our last conversation he asked me to send a pic that night because he likes me to send snaps every now and then. I did, but now 4 days later he still didn’t open the snap and hasn’t opened my last text. He told me he needs time alone sometimes to recharge (anything between a day and a week). I’m not sure how to respond to that. At the beginning he texted almost daily but now it happens more frequently that he needs time alone and doesn’t reply. I will not text him anymore, but just wondering if he’ll ever come back.
Hey, I’m sorry to hear that you’re having a confusing time with this guy. I think with time he will come back but his behavior is in keeping with a guy who is either confused about how he feels about you, is losing interest or is playing the field, as they say. It sucks but I think you’re better off letting this one go. His actions don’t match his texts. Some people need time to recharge but when you’re in the early stages of courtship, most people are dying to spend more time together when they both like each other. They’re not trying to put more distance between each other like he is. Keep that in mind.
Hi there,
I really find hope reading your article, really thank you. Here is my story, we were casual friends online, for some years. I asked to see his photo when he saw my picture on on Instagram got so excited and became obsessed. Texting every day, things got hit in one week. Suddenly he sent me he doesn’t have internet coconnection and he will talk to me once he will has at the same time he deleted me from Instagram. I texted him twice on WhatsApp he didn’t open the message and no signal since 2 weeks. Do you think I said something that might hurt him and he decided to ghost? Should I try texting him again? Thank you
I doubt it’s anything you said. He could be one of those guys who runs away when things start to heat up or he’s seeing someone else and took the easy and bad way out by ghosting you. I would leave him alone. Don’t chase after him either. You can try once more but thereafter, stop contacting him.
Hey there!
This article was incredibly helpful for my situation, and gave me a better understanding on what I should do next. I’ve been casually dating this guy for a few months now, we see each other about once a week. From what I thought we were on the right track towards being in a relationship, and he’s recently told me he loves me but that he’s polyamorous and hopes that I can accept that moving forward with him. I told him I also have feelings for him but that I can’t be part of that lifestyle. After that day his texts have been sparse, and I feel he is drifting away. I know none of this is my fault, I’m just trying to find an answer. He hasn’t texted me for a few days now, should I reach out or just let it be?
Hey Megan, I feel like if there’s a fundamental difference in belief regarding monogamy or polygamy in a relationship, it’s not easy to overcome unless both individuals are on the same page. He’s not pulling away because he lost interest or because you did something wrong. From what you’ve described, he’s respecting the fact that you’re looking for monogamy and he’s not. In this case, I think you should address the matter if it will make you feel better and give you some closure. But, the ball is in your court. I think you should let him know that he’s a great person and if he’s ever looking for a monogamous relationship, he knows where to find you because you think he’s an awesome guy. But, unfortunately, you’re not comfortable with polygamy and it bums you out but you understand. Then, I think you really have to just accept that this wasn’t meant to be. Or, you could take a chance and go for it with him. It really boils down to what you can handle. At least he’s being honest about his polyamorous lifestyle and not pulling you into a situation that could turn ugly.
This article was incredibly helpful for my situation, and gave me a better understanding .
We text everyday and when he goes for holiday he will still drop me a line or two. This time around he went for a holiday he didn’t text me or even read my message. It’s really strange…
We use to text everyday I saw change in him when I ask him how come now at work you don’t text …he said he is busy.
We do chat in the morning and evening but he is always busy doing other things mids of our chat.
Should I just wait for his reply as he has gone to visit his family.
What do I do when he text me after 2 weeks .?
I think you should take the bull by the horns the next time and tell him that you’d love to see him. Even the worst guy at dating would know that this is an opportunity to ask you out.
If he suggesting hanging out, I think you have an opportunity to get things back on track, especially after a date. If he doesn’t and keeps appearing as if he is losing interest, walk away before he does.
Hello! Thank you so much for your advice! My situation is that I try not to get too involved with guys and keep it casual as much as possible but I met this guy a few months ago who seemed to really like me. He texted me every day and always texted first. We met up about once every 2 or 3 weeks. I often made myself unavailable so I don’t think I was being clingy. Everything was absolutely normal until he didn’t read the text I sent for over 24 hours which I’d never seen from him before. I was worried so I asked “are my texts reaching you?” He replied saying sorry he was busy and I said “it’s ok sorry to bother you” then a few hours later he said “I’m really busy with work right now can we reschedule the plan we made to meet next week?” I said “sure, good luck with your work.” And that’s it so far. How long should I wait to contact him if he doesn’t contact me first? I can’t believe he just completely changed all of a sudden. Thanks for your help!
Hey Michelle, I would advise you to reach out in the middle of the week that he rescheduled to meet you to ask which day he’d like to meet because you’re excited to see him.
The reason why I think you should approach it this way is because I’m worried that you perhaps came off as just a tad bit too uninterested or hard to get. You need to find a balance between distance and pursuit. I think you’re close but still overthinking it.
This article & your others have been so helpful. I’ve been talking with this guy for about 3 months now, we talk/text everyday & usually see each other every other week, About a month ago he got a little quiet, I asked if everything was ok and if maybe he didn’t want to talk anymore, when I didn’t hear back I just told him I would leave him be if he ever wanted to talk he has my number, later I texted him (so I double texted) was like this sucks not talking to you and about an hour later he responded back and said he was in a bad way & when he gets like this he doesn’t like to talk & didn’t want to hurt me & how what we have is awesome.
I told him I understood, but it hurts more when he shuts me out & just said he can tell me he’s having a bad day & I will know to leave him alone instead of thinking the worse. Since then things have been great. He was saying how much he likes me, and we talked about the things we want to do together, he even says whenever we are on the phone together I do this thing to him that he can’t let me go.
Then Monday and Tuesday (10-11th) things were ok, we talked a little I had even sent him a funny text and he replied back etc. I sent a text saying good night etc and didn’t here back. (ok that’s nbd) Wednesday I said good morning and got nothing. so I left him alone until Thursday afternoon saying it sucked not talking to him (because it was my bday) and asked if we were ok, or if he just needed some space. I said just tell me. I got no response so of course I did what I shouldn’t have done, especially knowing what it means when he gets quiet. So I texted and said since we can’t talk I would leave him alone and hope all goes well for him. I have left him alone since then. I know I totally overreacted and can understand why he wouldn’t text me back. I don’t want to chase him, I really just want to apologize for the way I reacted & leave it at that. Thank you for your help.
Hi!! This article has helped me a lot and I’m glad I found it at the right time. So this guy I was dating hasn’t replied to me for 15 days. He has always been a late replier. We stopped seeing each other but last month he suddenly says he wants to hangout as friends but day before the hangout I got sick and the plan was postponed. Then he both mentally and physically wasn’t doing good so we talked on the phone. But when I text him asking how he’s doing he doesn’t text back in 2 days, then on 3rd day says he will call me but doesn’t call me and texts back again after 2 days stating he’s not good at all. But I can see he’s sharing stories on social media. So I just say if you don’t want to receive tests just tell me I won’t bother you. Then he says sorry and says he’s all over the place and says he will be out of the town. So I say have a good time but then ask him if you could manage to go out of town by himself. Then he hasn’t replied to me yet. But I can see he’s posting pictures and sharing stories on social media( he doesn’t know I can check his social media). I think he just wants to cut contact with me but doesn’t want to say it on his own.
This is everything and just what I needed to hear right now, thank you!!
Hello, thank you so much for this article! my guy hasn’t been replying from 2 weeks, I know he’s a little occupied right now but life is tough, my friends and family are always mad at me and he’s like the distraction to all my problems. so I’ve been alone for 2 weeks I feel lonely and sad. But, reading this article really relived my anxiety, thank you so much
Hi, thank you so much for this incredible article it absolutely taught me a lot. I met this guy over an app almost a year ago (he is from another country). We used to chat every day and everything was great. He is funny and smart. But I was always confused if he likes me or not. We are both kinda shy to say what we feel and last week he was acting super weird.. he stopped responding for hours and didn’t answer to all the texts like he always used to. He went for a vacation and he hasn’t texted me in a week. There were no hard feelings from my side cause people should enjoy a free time without sitting on their phone. He arrived home from his vacation and left me on read this whole week and still didn’t text me. I had the urge to text him and ask what’s up and about his vacation and if is all okay.. but at the same time I don’t want to look desperate. I genuinely like him but I feel like he doesn’t. And after reading the article I guess I should choose the ‘no contact’ tactic.. what do you think?
Thank you so much for your answer and have an awesome day!
Hey Lara, I’m sorry to hear about what you’re going through. I think it’s rude that he just ghosted you like that. Here’s what you can do, text him one last time since it’s been a week. Let’s see whether he responds. If he does, great. Play the waters and try to determine his level of interest. If he doesn’t text you or takes days to do so, then it’s a good time for you to walk away until he initiates contact.
This has been one of the most helpful articles. I’ve been talking to a guy for over a year off and on. In the past things didn’t work out when he started ghosting me. Seven months later, he came back apologetically and I let him back in. We spoke everyday for months. His communicating got less after we met. Finally he had an accident and our regular communication diminished. He then stated that he didn’t want to talk about his lack of consistency. I struggled with it and made it clear. I told him that I couldn’t repeat what transpired the year before due to what I’ve been thru and he said he didn’t want to lose me but his actions didn’t show this shortly after. Because now I haven’t heard from him in a week. I’m now trying my best to exercise self control because I’m confused as to why he came back in the first place. It feels like last year all over again.
How long do you wait during the no contact? It’s been 12 days since I sent him a message, and it hasn’t even been opened. How long is too long? The conversation was completely normal before this silence, he asked how I was, I sent a reply and asked when we could meet up and then nothing. He’s been online too, nothing red flag, just liking random stuff and stories, but I don’t know if this is a game or not. How long is too long in no contact before I should admit defeat?