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What To Do If A Girl Doesn’t Text You Back!

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If a girl doesn’t text you back, it may not seem like a big deal to an outsider but to you, it probably feels like you’re losing someone you really like or love. Emotional reactions to events such as this are unpredictable and often loud. Instead of panicking and behaving erratically, you would better be served using the advice in this article.

The best thing you can do if a girl doesn’t text you back is to give her some time before freaking out and examine the possibilities for why she hasn’t replied to your texts. 

If it hasn’t been more than an hour or two and there’s no cause for concern other than your anxious thoughts, then give her more time to reply. 

If it is uncommon for her to not reply for a day or more, then you need to reach out to her again in a calm manner while examining the other reasons why she has not replied. 

Based on your findings and her reaction to your double text, you can make a decision on how to approach this situation appropriately.

What you don’t ever want to do is chase her or lash out at her for not replying to you. It’s unattractive to do so and inconsiderate, especially if she has a legitimate reason for not replying punctually on this occasion.

Don’t ruin your chances with her by acting impulsively and blowing her phone up incessantly. 

Reasons Why She Doesn’t Text You Back

why she doesn't text back, reasons she doesn't text you

1. She’s not interested in you

When it comes to attraction and interest, it’s barely controllable. You can influence them but never create them from scratch.

On a scale of 1 to 10, if a woman has an interest level of 5 and up, you have a decent chance of courting her successfully. 

If it’s anything below 5, your chances are slim to none. At most, you’ll make it into her friend circle but nothing more.

The first level of attraction is based on first impressions, physical appearance and overall demeanor.

The next level of attraction is more easily influenced because it depends on your behavior and ability to court her.

During this phase, you can turn her off from you and kill her interest or you can make her develop a strong desire to be with you and chase you. 

If in either phase, you are below her minimum threshold for interest, there’s nothing you can do about it. 

You’ll be lucky if you get any texts back from her after her interest falls below a certain level.

No amount of flattery or double texts will change her interest level in you at this point. 

Related post: How to tell if someone doesn’t care about you

2. She’s busy

If you’re interested in the kind of woman who is independent, ambitious, hard-working and career-oriented while also juggling a social life and solid family life, she’s going to be busy.

She’s not going to have all the time in the world to text you back, especially when she’s at work. 

Try to entertain the possibility that she’s just really busy right now and it’s a passing phase.

When deadlines are approaching or certain events are taking place, it’s natural for someone to be occupied and engaged with full focus.

But, as soon as things settle down, you’ll hear back from her more frequently and punctually.

If this doesn’t occur or she doesn’t have much going on in her life and she’s clearly active online, then it’s only fair to assume that you’re not a priority for her.

There could be a number of reasons why she doesn’t text you back which we will discuss below but it’s fair to say that she’s not busy.

3. She is dating someone else

Unless you’ve discussed exclusivity with her or found out whether she’s dating other people while you’re getting to know her, it’s highly possible that she’s seeing someone else.

Sometimes, he’s grabbing her attention and interest more than you are, which is why you’re not getting texts back from her on time.

Other times, when you’re doing things right and he isn’t, she’s focusing more on you.

Some of the signs that she’s dating someone else is as follows:

  • She’s frequently online but not replying to you. 
  • She’s mentioned another guy to you on a few occasions recently.
  • She’s posting pictures of herself out at night on what appears to be a date.
  • She has other guys interacting on her pictures in which she replies to them in a manner that makes you feel like she’s close to them. 
  • She gives you vague excuses for why she hasn’t replied to you or none at all. 

The more of these signs are present, the more likely it is that she’s dating someone else.

Related post: Why did she leave me for someone else? (10 reasons why) 

4. She is upset with you

Not many things will elicit the silent treatment from a woman like upsetting her.

It’s even worse and more likely that she’ll stop texting you if she feels unheard and ignored by you.

Until you reach out and make an effort to find out why she’s upset or to take accountability for your role in hurting her feelings, she’ll remain silent and you won’t get any texts from her. 

Examine the last few texts or interactions you had with her. If something stands out to you that could have upset her, find out and make sure that you understand before delivering a poor apology. 

Related post: When she goes silent on you

5. She’s afraid of commitment

Not many things are as frustrating as a girl suddenly turning cold and distant to you when everything seems to be progressing well.

You assumed that she was falling deeply in love with you and a serious relationship was imminent and inevitable.

You’re calling her more, talking about the future more and escalating your declarations of adoration.

Until suddenly, she stops replying to your texts.

She doesn’t show up for the regular morning interactions and some of your usual calls go unanswered.

When she gets back to you eventually, she’s distant and vague.

After prying, you discover that she feels overwhelmed and confused.

This results in her pulling away from you.

People with commitment issues present the same behavior when a romantic relationship or courtship begins to escalate into something serious.

Fear overwhelms them and doubts start to twist their perception of you and reality.

The more you chase after her, the less receptive she is to you.

Related post: What is commitment phobia?

6. You’re not giving her any space to miss you

I don’t even need to elaborate on this because you know what I’m talking about.

You may be in denial at first but you already know that texting all the time, calling her for hours every day, double or triple texting her and showering her with declarations of love and affection all the time is too much too soon.

I have come to the understanding that attraction, interest and desire can be improved in the presence of someone and in absence.

This means that if you give a girl some time away from you, it can have a positive effect on her attraction and desire for you because she’ll begin to miss you when thinking fondly about her time spent with you.

None of this is possible if you are overwhelming her with texts, calls and visits all the time. 

It can have the opposite effect and push her away which is one of the reasons why she doesn’t text you back. 

Send a text and then wait for her to respond.

If you need to send a double text, do so and then don’t text her again for any reason until she gets back to you.

Related post: How to give her space (everything you need to know)

7. You’re wasting her time

The average person is afraid of wasting their time and effort on people who are not interested in them.

Nobody wants to chase after someone who is a player or who has no time for them.

If she doesn’t text you back because you are notoriously known for being a player or for wasting her time, then you shouldn’t be surprised that she’s staying away from you.

Women who are focused on finding a serious partner will sense flakey behavior a mile away. 

When you prove her right, she’ll lose interest and not bother to text you back. 

What To Do If She Doesn’t Text You

if she doesn't text you back, what to do if she doesn't text you

1. Don’t chase her

I don’t think anything chases a girl out of your life like chasing her incessantly.

It’s unnecessary and makes you appear to be desperate which is unattractive to anyone. 

The only time chasing a woman works is if you were the one who showed no interest in her.  

The sudden switch may win her back into your life but it’s nothing you ought to be doing long term.

The last thing you want to do is freak out and blow her phone up with text messages accusing her of all sorts of things only to realize that she was actually busy with work or something of that nature. 

The natural progression of romance is that you pursue a woman during the early weeks until she starts doing more of the calling and texting as the weeks go on.

Sometimes, wait for her to reach out to you. Don’t reply instantly. Don’t drop everything you’re doing just to talk to her. Pursue your goals and dreams. Socialize with friends and family.

By pursuing a life of meaning, purpose and value, it’s impossible for you to spend all day chasing a girl because you won’t have the time to do so!

That will naturally make you more attractive and desirable to women. 

Related post: Never chase a girl who dumped you

2. Wait for a day before double texting her

I am of the opinion that you should be authentic and genuine with a woman.

The fewer games you play, the better.

But, if you are someone who is impulsive, impatient and anxious due to an anxious attachment style, it might be best for you to consciously withhold yourself from overly pursuing her.

Double texting is not a problem if it happens infrequently. 

If anything, the occasional double text to a girl can make her feel wanted and desired.

But, if you’re frequently texting her and she barely replies or shows a lack of interest, it’s better to wait a day before texting her again.

Give her a genuine chance to reply before sending a follow-up text.

And if you’re sending a follow-up text, keep it short and simple.

Do not unravel or try to be unnecessarily suave or funny.

It can backfire on you too easily and make you appear to be desperate for her to reply. 

Related post: What does double text mean?

3. Stop declaring your feelings for her

Unless you’re in a serious relationship, I don’t think it’s a good idea to be constantly declaring your love and attraction for her.

It kills all of the anticipation and excitement during the early days of courtship.

I’ve seen guys ask girls to be exclusive within two weeks of knowing each other!

That’s ludicrous and a surefire way of getting rejected or ghosted.

The only time when being expressive early on is fine is if she has a ridiculously high level of interest and attraction for you.

Remember the scale of desire that we discussed above? If you score between 8 – 10, then you can get away with a lot and her interest will not diminish because she’s so into you already. 

But, as a rule of thumb, wait until you’ve at least known her for a few weeks before you even start thinking about mentioning love to her.

In Conclusion

Unless you’ve done something wrong and hurtful, I wouldn’t advise you to chase after her and to make multiple attempts at convincing her to communicate.

This is not how a healthy and long-lasting relationship begins or grows.

You have to surround yourself with people who are interested in overcoming obstacles and developing better communication to build relationships that thrive.

Anything else and you’re just fighting an uphill battle. 

At the same time, you must be objective enough to recognize when a woman is presenting a red flag and prepare yourself to let her leave if she ignores you wrongfully.

This is the only way to save yourself from unnecessary heartache and hardship.

With that being said, I hope you found this article on what to do if a girl doesn’t text you back to be eye-opening and a source of comfort. If you have any questions or thoughts that you would like to share with me, please do so by visiting the comment section below.

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