Let me guess, you thought chasing him would make him want you but in reality, it drove him away. You thought about trying more things to get him back but decided against it. Instead, you did nothing and it worked. Which is why you’re confused and thinking to yourself, I stopped chasing him and he came back. Why did he come back?
When you chase a man, you submit all your power over to him. But, a powerful woman who has many options and loads of self worth would not chase after a man. On the contrary, she’ll wait for him to pursue her. When he does, she’ll create opportunities for him to ask her out and make a move.
Chasing a man can be extremely problematic, especially when he shows low attraction levels and a lack of interest.
But, the same could be said for playing too hard to get. If you can find a balance between the two, your love life will completely change.
With that being said, let’s get into the nitty gritty of why he came back when you stopped chasing him.
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Why is chasing a man unattractive?
Men are hardwired to chase after women. It’s true.
More so than that, as human beings, we tend to place a higher value and worth on things and people who are hard to get.
In other words, being more of a challenge makes men view you as a high-quality woman who is only interested in men that meet her standards.
This is where a man’s ego comes into play.
He wants to feel like one of the few men who are worthy of your love and affection.
He’ll be willing to work harder at courting you and investing more of himself in the relationship based on this.
Of course, love and attraction make up a majority of his decision to pursue you. But, we would be foolish not to talk about the role of ego and self worth in the game of attraction.
By chasing after him, you feed his ego without him having to do anything to earn it.
This starts to rewire his mind towards you. Rather than view you as this amazing woman he needs to pursue, he thinks of himself as more than good enough for you.
You have to place a greater value of self worth on yourself or you’ll keep running into guys who either treat you like a second great citizen or they’ll lose interest over time.
There’s really no need to chase after anyone.
With the right behavior and the right man, you’ll both pursue each other in the most natural and organic way possible.
You’ll reach out to him and he’ll ask you out on a date. You open yourself up to him and he’ll make a move. You let him know that you’re ready for something exclusive and he’ll propose a relationship.
When there’s mutual effort, very rarely will one person have to chase after the other.
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Why he came back when you stopped chasing him
From the perspective of a man, I can tell you that when a man loses interest, rejects or dumps you, he lowkey expects you to chase him and always be interested in him.
A lot of women make the mistake of falling into this trap.
They get rejected or dumped and start chasing after him like crazy. They lash out or start begging and pleading for a chance to win his heart. They start doing things that are questionable and self-diminishing.
Put simply, they actually start rewarding him for choosing not to be with them.
If this is something you have done in the past, I strongly urge you to avoid it at all costs. I mean, the fact that you stopped chasing him and he came back is a testament to what I’m saying.
Doing more will not improve your chances of getting him back.
Whereas doing less actually has the ability to change a man’s mind.
Not only is it unexpected and jarring to watch a woman walk away so easily after being rejected but it’s a sign of power and self confidence.
Only women with a good sense of self respect and self worth would walk away so easily and not chase him.
This makes him question his opinion of you. It also makes him reconsider his decision to blow you off.
Additionally, silence is deafening. He may have not realized how valuable your presence is in his life. Now that you’re gone, it probably makes him nostalgic and sentimental.
Even within the context of a relationship, giving him space to miss you will actually make him come back to you in the most loving way possible compared to chasing him.
If you truly know your worth and value, there’s no need to run after a man trying to convince him of why he should spend time with you. Have complete faith in the idea that a real man who sees your worth will naturally gravitate towards you.
When you start developing more confidence and self worth, your behavior around men will improve to such an extent that you won’t even need to chase anyone because they’ll be dying to be in your presence.
Related post: 7 signs you are chasing him and why you should stop
Tips on how to stop chasing him altogether
For the most part, just stop trying to convince him of your worth. That’s the most important thing you can do. There’s no need to seek out his validation. Be unapologetically yourself and focus on having a good time.
Match his effort. That’s an important thing to remember. If he isn’t taking the time to reply to your texts despite you making an effort, don’t text him again. It’s okay to double text a guy under certain circumstances but if he’s ignoring you, just pull back and go on with your life.
When he does reach out to you, wait a few hours before responding. This will show him that you are not desperate to talk to him if he can’t take the time to reply or call you.
Try not to bring up the topic of exclusivity or relationships if he has rejected you before. Instead, just focus on enjoying yourself and holding your cards close to your chest.
Let him wonder about how you actually feel.
What I know is that uncertainty is attractive. It creates anticipation and excitement. This is why it’s so helpful to be a little mysterious during the early phases of courtship.
Don’t be divulging every minute detail about yourself to him.
When he starts showing more interest, you can start matching or emulating his effort. Continue to do this until he is completely head over heels in love with you.
Related post: 10 ways to make a man obsess over you
It can be tempting to chase a man in hopes of getting him back but don’t do it. Sacrificing your self-worth and dignity is too high of a price to pay for someone who doesn’t care about you enough.
Try to prioritize your own happiness for a change. That’s what he did when he started distancing himself from you.
It’s perfectly okay to be a little selfish about your own happiness around people who have treated you poorly before.
With that being said, I hope you enjoyed this article on ‘I stopped chasing him and he came back’. Feel free to leave your thoughts or questions in the comment section below.
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