What’s harder than winning a girl’s heart is getting her back after messing up. Granted, everyone makes mistakes but some of our actions can be so detrimental to our relationships that we end up getting dumped. In this article, I’m going to discuss everything you need to know on how to win a woman back after hurting her.
Words alone won’t cut it. When you’re dealing with a woman’s feelings, you must take the initiative to show her your love or remorse instead of rendering a weak apology.
I mean, after all, actions speak louder than words.
Before we touch on this system of how to win a woman back after hurting her, let’s talk about sincerity.
In order for an apology to be heartfelt, you must truly understand the ramifications of your actions.
This is when it’s ridiculously important for you to put yourself in her shoes and contemplate how you would have felt had she done what you did.
This will give you a better understanding of where she stands and the type of behavior she may need to see from you in order to get over her heartbreak.
Trust goes hand in hand with love. When you do things to sever the bond of trust, love alone won’t be able to salvage the relationship.
The only way to win back trust is to be genuine, consistent and mature enough to vocalize your shortcomings and how you plan on growing as an individual.
Once you put in the work, you have to let time work its magic. If there’s any hope of reconciliation at all, it will happen but in its own due time.
Here’s a quick overview of the 10 things you need to know on how to win a woman back after hurting her.
- Apologize sincerely and truthfully.
- Taper your expectations.
- Be prepared to show up consistently to prove your worth.
- Don’t pressure her into anything.
- Give her some space to cool down.
- Don’t chase her.
- Initiate no contact.
- Be charming and make her laugh.
- Improve yourself.
- Be gracious in defeat.
With that being said, let’s discuss each of these tips in more detail.
The Attraction Game Book – How To Win The Girl Of Your Dreams is now available. It contains every single tactic you need to level up your game. I’ll share my experiences and advice on getting your ex back, escaping the friendzone, overcoming rejection, attracting women and making them fall in love. CLICK HERE to grab your copy.
1. Apologize sincerely and truthfully
A real and sincere apology is one that comes from the heart. You must express exactly how your actions hurt her as well as how you regret your actions.
A good apology focuses on how much you value the other person more so than how embarrassed you are.
Be sincere and show remorse, take responsibility for your actions, make amends and promise that it will never happen again.
For a more detailed look at how to apologize to someone, check out this article by mindtools.
2. Taper your expectations
Just because you apologize and want to be a good partner now doesn’t mean she automatically is ready to be with you again. Everyone recovers from hurt and pain at their own pace.
The risk of her not accepting your apology or willing to be with you again is a possibility. She may put you on the shelf for a while until she’s decided whether you’re worth trusting again.
There’s really no telling what she’ll do until you apologize and try to win her back.
To avoid getting majorly disappointed or upset, control your expectations. This will allow you to deal with whatever she throws your way without freaking out or having a meltdown.
3. Be prepared to show up consistently
To win back her trust, respect and love, you must be prepared to show up consistently to make an effort.
More than any materialistic thing, women value an honest and thoughtful gesture of love. Think about special ways in which you can show her that she is a true gem of a person and that you are willing to take ownership of your mistake.
By putting in the work, you’ll slowly break down her walls and possibly win her back.
If there’s one thing I know, women respect men who work hard and are willing to get their hands dirty for the people they love.
Show her exactly how committed you are to treating her like a queen if she gives you another chance.
4. Don’t pressure her into anything
The heart moves at its own pace, irrespective of what you may want. If you’ve made a huge mistake like cheating, you’re in no position to pressure her into anything.
Forgiveness is something that can never be faked. Until she’s ready, you have no option but to wait.
I know this is particularly hard for men to do, especially when they are falling apart, but patience is the key to relationship success. Being patient is a virtue that prevents people from losing control of themselves and messing up their chances of success.
When she’s ready to let you back in, you’ll know and feel it.
5. Give her some space to cool down
Some people need time and space away from others to work through their emotions and to move past something traumatic.
After apologizing sincerely and making a genuine effort to win her back, if she still seems angry and is trying to push you away, give her some space.
As they say, distance makes the heart grow fonder. Constantly talking to someone while being upset about something can often keep you both trapped in the middle of the storm.
Time away from each other might be exactly what you both need to cool down and be more open to forgiveness.
6. Don’t chase her
If there’s one thing I know, desperation, begging and pleading do very little for attraction. If anything, they make you look weak and off-putting.
I understand that you are feeling anxious and desperate to win her back. I get it. You love her. But acting like a lovesick puppy that wants to hound her until she gives you a bone to eat is not going to work.
There’s a fine line between pursuit and chasing. Chasing a woman doesn’t take into account how she feels. Its entire premise is to satisfy your desire for instant gratification.
By giving her the space to come to you after making an effort to win her back, you vastly improve your chance of winning her back through this form of subtle pursuit.
Related post: how to make her chase you after a breakup.
7. Initiate no contact
Distance teaches us the value of good people. If you’ve done everything necessary to win her back but it hasn’t been working and you two seem to be at a stalemate, it might be time to initiate no contact.
This will be effective particularly when she refuses to take you back or acknowledge your efforts.
By initiating no contact, you can give her the time, space and distance to actually miss you. As humans, we are designed to miss those whom we care about, even if they have hurt us.
Distance and no contact has an effect on our memory. Rather than clutch onto what upset or hurt us, we dig deeper into those memories that were special and important.
Eventually, if not speaking to you or seeing you starts to overwhelm her, she may reach out.
Alternately, you can tell her that it may be a good idea that you both not speak for a while to heal and in a month or so you should get in contact again.
Related post: 5 signs the no contact rule is working
8. Be charming and make her laugh
There’s not an easier way to a girl’s heart than through laughter. If you can put a smile or laugh on her face, you move her out of that state of hurt and into a feel-good state.
Laughter, fun, positivity, flirting and charm all have a positive effect on attraction and romance.
Rather than constantly stay stuck in the past, remind her of all the things about you she loves!
If you manage to go out with her again, treat her to some amazing and fun dates.
Act as if you’re courting her all over again. Pull out all the stops at having fun and pile up the reasons for why she should forgive you and give you another chance.
9. Improve yourself
Nothing shows a woman that you are serious about changing into a better man than hard work. Whether it be at your career, fitness, health, communication or relationships.
Improving yourself in these different areas of life can have a profound effect on your level of happiness and positivity.
And the better you feel, the easier it is to show up in the relationship or interaction with a healthy attitude.
She’ll notice any and all changes you man because women are attentive like that.
They’re always trying to read you and figure out whether you are the right kind of man for them.
Look, what’s done is done. You can’t go back in time and change the mistake you’ve made. But, you can sure as hell do everything in your power to become a better partner.
Give her more reasons to love you again by becoming an irresistible man.
10. Be gracious in defeat
Sometimes, you can do everything humanly possible to win her back but it may not work.
Perhaps after no contact, she met someone else or she’s just not ready to be with you again.
By blowing up, acting desperate, jealous or lashing out, you may sour and ruin your chance of getting her back in the future entirely.
Instead, prepare yourself for bad news and be gracious. Love her even if she doesn’t want to be with you right now.
Let her know that the time you spent together was wonderful and keep the door open for the future. Thereafter, walkaway on good terms.
You’d be surprised, this mature way of handling failure or rejection may turn things around for you in the future.
With that being said, I’d like to wrap up this article by letting you know that there’s always hope. Don’t give up too soon. If she is meant to be in your life, she’ll come back.
Please share your experiences or questions on how to win a woman back after hurting her in the comment section below. I’m looking forward to hearing from you.
If you want to maximize the chances of you meeting someone who will not only knock your socks off but treat you in the manner that you deserve, then you need to know what you should look for in a...
When we invest ourselves in people who don’t care about us, we are doing a disservice to ourselves and to the people who genuinely deserve to belong in our lives. But, most of us can’t decipher...