You could have every reason in the world to be happy but it would be pointless if you hate yourself. I would know. I’ve spent much of my early adulthood hating myself and not knowing how to dig myself out of the hole I put myself in.
Rock bottom isn’t always the place that triggers change. Sometimes, you end up living in that state indefinitely with no desire for anything. However, one of the most effective ways to stop hating yourself is to give yourself reasons to love yourself.
I know, that sounds quite obvious and simple. But, that doesn’t make it easy.
This will require you to take ownership of all your hate and still be willing to wake up each day with the intention to be better.
Nothing is truly going to change overnight. The work you put in each and every day may take weeks, if not months, to take effect.
You have to be willing to push through all of that pain and darkness in order to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
It isn’t easy. But it’s the best damn thing you could possibly do for yourself and the people in your life.
Here’s exactly how to stop hating yourself.
- Forgive yourself and let go of regrets
- Stop comparing yourself to others
- Accept your unchangeable flaws
- Surround yourself with better people
- Start making better choices
- Feel the pain and be honest with yourself
- Take ownership of your shortcomings
- Start over in life
Let’s take a closer look at each of these tips.
8 Tips On How To Stop Hating Yourself
1. Forgive Yourself And Let Go Of Regrets
Carrying the regrets and mistakes of your past do nothing but weigh you down and keep you grounded in a state of self-loathing.
It’s okay to forgive yourself.
As humans, we are destined by nature to make mistakes. Sometimes, our choices may even go against the very same moral compass that usually guides us.
It happens and you shouldn’t hate yourself for it. That helps nobody and achieves nothing.
If you’re struggling to forgive yourself, then make an effort to earn that forgiveness. Dedicate yourself to doing things differently than you have before.
Learn from those mistakes and become someone who deserves to be forgiven.
You can’t change the past but you can most certainly change the course of the future.
2. Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
They say that greed is the number one cause of unhappiness in the world. I couldn’t agree more.
But I would be amiss not to mention what causes or influences greed more than anything else – comparison.
We live in a time when people share highlighted and glamorized moments of themselves and their life on social media for the world to see.
Consuming this fake idea of a perfect life lived by others can easily infect anyone of us. Check out this scholarly article on the effects of social media on self-worth.
For that very same reason, I deleted most social networking apps from my life.
Since then, I have noticed myself living a much healthier and happier life without that constant self-degradation and disappointment experienced from comparing my life to that of others.
3. Accept Your Unchangeable Flaws
When you spend your time comparing yourself and your life to that of others, it’s like an inevitable side effect that you find a reason to fixate on your flaws.
Look, some flaws can be changed and that’s great. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight or fix your overall appearance.
But, some flaws cannot be changed or ‘fixed’ and that is also perfectly okay. It’s easy for me to say that because I don’t have what you do, right? Perhaps, but you may not have the flaws that I do.
And that’s the point.
Just because you’re flawed in one way doesn’t mean the next person isn’t flawed in another way.
Despite how perfect you may view someone, they have a flaw and most likely feel that way about someone else.
It’s the circle of life.
But, when you can find a sense of acceptance and peace over that which is out of your control, life becomes easier and simpler.
If you’re looking for a healthy way to stop hating yourself, start by accepting your flaws, eradicate toxic beliefs and pay extra attention to the qualities you do like!
4. Surround Yourself With Better People
Let me share an equation with you that may be interesting to note.
You are the sum total of the 5 closest people in your life.
So, if you’re surrounding yourself with people who are fake, insecure, jealous, depressed, unhappy, greedy and hypercritical, you will most likely become the sum total of all those traits.
The exact opposite could be noted as well.
I’ve come to realize that we adjust the ‘temperature’ of our lives based on what we think we deserve and feel accustomed too.
If you’re accustomed to putting in the bare minimum effort for your goals, then that is what you will gravitate towards especially if the people in your life are the same.
However, if you spend more time in the company of people who prioritize hard work and excellent dedication to their goals, you’ll eventually adjust yourself to do the same.
Find people who push you to be better in the healthiest of ways. If they build you up, keep them around. If they tear you down, cut them out.
As you become influenced by them, the temperature of your life will increase and the standards you set jump with them.
5. Start Making Better Choices
Thoughts and intentions are great but they’re insignificant when it comes to gaining results in life.
The true measure of success is based on your actions.
What have you done recently to earn self-love? Have you taken care of yourself and given extra thought to the choices you make?
If you haven’t then this is a great place to start.
Changing your mindset can go a very long way in building self-love but that can only be achieved by choosing the right things.
Choose to be kind, courageous, brave, honest, loyal and hard-working. Choose to hold yourself to a higher standard.
These choices you make on a daily basis will build you into the best version of yourself.
6. Feel The Pain And Be Honest With Yourself
For most of my life, I’ve taken the easy way out. Whenever I found myself faced with something that hurt me, instead of facing it, I did my best to get over it as fast as I could.
The problem with my approach is that getting over it meant drowning it out. This isn’t a healthy recipe on how to stop hating yourself.
I didn’t take the time to work through my feelings by facing it.
Feeling pain is the quickest way to get over the pain. This is especially true during times of hardship such as a breakup.
Check out this article on how to get over someone.
The easy way out is to drown out those feelings of pain and discomfort. But, that’s not the best way to grow from it.
When you decide to be strong enough to face your demons, only then will you have a chance to conquer them and live a life free of that pain.
7. Take Ownership Of Your Shortcomings
I know of many people in the self-help world who speak of the importance of affirmations and for good reason.
Being kind to yourself and acknowledging your strengths are excellent but not when you’re lying to yourself.
There’s not much value in calling yourself successful if you’ve been failing at all your goals due to laziness.
Similarly, affirming that you’re a host of amazing things without actually being that way is a pointless activity that only provides a temporary fix to how you feel.
True growth begins by taking ownership of your shortcomings.
If you’re lazy, be honest about it. If you’re uneducated, be honest about it. You get the idea, right?
Be honest about your shortcomings so that you can address them immediately.
Think about this.
Would you rather stay exactly how you are by claiming to be something you’re not or would you rather become someone you’re not by admitting your shortcomings and fixing them?
You can’t win races you aren’t competing in.
8. Start Over In Life
There is amazing value in being able to start a day with the ability to make a first impression.
Despite how you’ve been up until now, you still have the chance to show up in the world and make a first impression on someone or the other.
Imagine for a second, you meet the partner of your dreams and you knock their socks off. Who or how would you be to make that happen?
Make a list of all the attributes and traits that would make your dream partner gush about you.
Now use that to your advantage. Start acting the way you want to be.
You have so much to gain by starting over in life.
Give yourself the ability to make a first impression again. Wake up tomorrow with the intention of chasing after a life that would fulfill your wildest dreams.
And act in accordance with that dream for a better life.
This Is How To Stop Hating Yourself
I’m not claiming that it’s going to be an easy journey for you, it surely wasn’t for me.
But if you can follow the tips in this article and make the effort to do the difficult work, you will stop hating yourself.
You know how most people say that respect is earned, not given. Well, the same could be said for self-respect.
Earn it by becoming the kind of person you would respect and love wholeheartedly.
Let’s get after it!
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