You invested time and effort into getting to know someone and suddenly, they disappear. None of your messages get answered and your missed calls never get returned. Turns out, you’ve been ghosted and now you want to know how to respond to ghosting.
The best way to respond to ghosting is by not responding at all. Let your silence be deafening and show them that you are not willing to chase after someone who isn’t interested in making an effort to stay in contact.
There is nothing respectful about ghosting someone.
Only a coward who is afraid of taking responsibility for their actions will ghost you.
Unfortunately, we live in a time when ghosting runs rampant. The second you lose interest in someone, rather than respectfully walking away and giving them some closure, we opt to disappear without a saying word.
It’s not like the ghoster doesn’t see your messages. They do. They just choose to ignore you.
Do you really want to dignify their behavior with a response?
Being ghosted in a romantic relationship
It seems like ghosting has become most popular in romantic relationships and dating because people want to look for an easy way out.
I think online dating apps and sites can be a great tool when used responsibly.
Unfortunately, the side effect of instantly being able to fire up an app and find someone new has affected the way we approach relationships.
We are too quick to give up on people and our thoughts are constantly influenced by the grass is greener syndrome.
Rather than explore the depth and complexity of someone’s personality, we bounce onto the next person as soon as we run into a roadblock.
Because we do this so often, it has become easier and quicker to just ghost each other and move on.
It’s awful. This phenomenon can be tied to the reasons why we have these horrible groups of individuals like incels rising amongst younger generations.
If you’ve been ghosted, you probably understand how confusing, unsettling, frustrating and depressing it can be.
Not being able to have any sort of closure can be haunting, especially when you assumed everything was going well.
I completely understand why you want to reach out and respond to someone who has ghosted you.
I’ve done the same thing in the past but to no avail. It doesn’t help the situation nor does it change what has happened.
Related post: What is ghosting on social media?
What to do if you have been ghosted
After being ghosted, your priority should not be to get that person back or to elicit an explanation.
What you need to focus on is self-preservation, healing and acceptance. And the following tips on how to respond to ghosting will help you with all of the above.
1. Don’t chase after a ghoster
In general, I’m against the idea of chasing after people without limits. It devalues your worth.
But, when someone ghosts you, it’s one of the ultimate forms of disrespect in this day and age.
Chasing after them will only humiliate you and reward them for subpar behavior.
Never give more of your time and effort to someone who doesn’t deserve it at all.
Have an open door policy in your relationships.
If someone wants to walk out, they’re more than welcome to do so especially if you’ve done nothing but put your best foot forward.
Related post: I stopped chasing him and he came back
2. Don’t show them that you’re hurt
Chasing after someone or blowing up at them only gives them more power over you. Strip them of it.
Don’t give them the satisfaction of knowing that their presence in your life is missed when they don’t even care enough to stay in it.
Hold your cards close to your chest in this case.
Because I can tell you, with certainty, that they’re not going to do anything to make up for it. They just wanted out of your life, which is why they ghosted you in the first place.
3. Call them out for being disrespectful
I can relate with some people who feel the need to speak up against what’s wrong and disrespectful behavior.
Even though it’s best not to contact these people at all, if you feel like it will help you to move on, respectfully call them out for being rude, disrespectful and cowardice.
Don’t attack them. Don’t cuss at them. Don’t even be petty. Just word a message that shows disdain for their behavior and surprise for their lack of character and good morals.
Trust me, disappointment penetrates through even the toughest skin.
At the end of your message, let them know that you’re glad they’re out of your life. It’s a little under the belt but deservingly so.
4. Allow yourself to feel
Unfortunately, it’s going to hurt and you’ll experience the host of feelings associated with rejection. But, it’s okay to feel this way.
Disappointment is a part of life and if you can face it sooner rather than later, you’ll move past the incident without lasting ramifications.
Too many people try to avoid dealing with pain and rejection that it eventually starts to affect the way they approach their love life as well as the way they view themselves.
No amount of rejection determines your worth. Always remember that. The right people will see your value and make every effort to be in your life.
Related post: Everything I know about how to feel happy
5. Don’t fixate on them
Some things in life can’t be changed and you can’t control other people’s choices and actions.
All you have control over is yourself and the choices you make.
Fixating on what could have been won’t achieve anything.
It will make you feel like crap.
Instead, focus on your life.
Don’t waste a second more on someone who willingly exited your life without even a respectful goodbye.
It’s pointless, won’t bring them back nor will it make you feel any better.
What I’ve come to realize after getting dumped years ago is that what you focus on will grow.
In other words, if you focus on those who hurt you, you’ll feel hurt. If you focus on the people who love and care about you, you’ll feel loved.
6. Remove them from all social networking accounts
To avoid complicating your life with unnecessary drama or getting hurt when you witness their online activity, just remove them from your social networking accounts.
Think about this for a second – what do you have to gain by remaining digitally connected with someone who ghosted you?
Except pain and suffering.
Just get rid of them. Make a clean break by removing any and all traces of them. This will massively reduce the time it takes to move on and forget about them.
7. Delete any reminders of them
Another tip for moving on is to get rid of videos, pictures, texts and gifts from someone who ghosted you.
These reminders will only make you nostalgic and you’ll end up feeling stuck in a past memory.
I’m a very sentimental person who struggles with this issue but I was only able to truly move on after breakups when I got rid of these daily reminders.
Even if you store it away instead of deleting or throwing them out, it will help.
Once you’ve completely made peace with the fact that they’re out of your life and you’re no longer attached to these things, you can decide what to do with them.
Related post: Should I delete photos of my ex?
8. Don’t blame yourself
Last but certainly not least, I would advise you to not overthink things and never blame yourself for the actions of another.
Victims of abuse tend to go through this issue.
They assume that if they didn’t do X or Y, they wouldn’t make their abusive partner angry.
But, that’s not true.
Nothing you say or do justifies the rotten behavior and actions of someone who was supposed to love, respect and adore you.
I’m not trying to compare ghosting to abuse, I’m just trying to draw parallel effects of being mistreated in a romantic relationship.
You’re not at fault.
Even if you were less than ideal, normal people with good morals and values would not abuse or ghost you.
Being ghosted is a reflection of the other person’s poor character, not your flaws. Always remember that!
The best way to respond to ghosting is to not respond at all. I stand by this statement because I don’t see any point in rewarding someone who has tossed you away with your effort and time anymore.
I feel like most people who ghost others tend to expect to be chased. Don’t give them the satisfaction of being right.
By cutting every and all remaining contact with them, you get some control over the situation and yourself.
This can greatly benefit your ability to move on and make peace with what has happened.
With that being said, I hope you found this article on how to respond to ghosting to be insightful and informative. Head over to the comment section below and leave your thoughts or questions for me and I’ll reply as soon as possible.