Some things in life are beyond our control. We know this. But that doesn’t change the fact that we often grapple with this idea. As someone with OCD, I have a hard time with control. A part of me always believes that there’s something I can do to influence a situation or an outcome. Is this something you can relate to as well? It just so happens that infidelity falls within one of the situations that trigger a preventative desire within us.
The truth is that if someone decides to break their vows, that reflects their character flaws. But there are things we can do to mitigate the risks of infidelity
Preventing infidelity in a marriage requires effort from both partners to nurture trust, emotional intimacy, and communication. While there’s no foolproof way to completely prevent infidelity, cultivating a healthy, connected relationship can reduce the chances of it.
I’ve put together a list of anecdotal and research-based techniques on ways to prevent infidelity in a marriage. Ironically, most of the advice in this article revolves around cultivating a happy, healthy, and loving relationship!
13 Ways To Prevent Infidelity In A Marriage
1. Build Open Communication
Talk regularly: Make communication a daily habit. Share your feelings, thoughts, and experiences. Open communication helps partners feel connected and understood. Ultimately, when looks fade and life problems are stacked on each other like weighted plates on your back, good communication with your spouse will ease the burden of those issues.
Be honest about your needs: Address emotional or physical needs with your partner openly. If you feel something is lacking, discuss it respectfully instead of bottling it up. In many cases, small misunderstandings and unmet needs accumulate and plant seeds of doubt.
The issue is that when those seeds are planted, those with loyalty issues may be influenced to seek validation outside of their marriage. Avoid that by communicating clearly about needs and expectations.
2. Prioritize Emotional Intimacy
Strengthen your bond: Emotional closeness is key to a strong marriage. Regularly spend quality time together, whether it’s through date nights, hobbies, or deep conversations. Too many couples fall into the trap of mundanity caused by everyday life.
I get it—you’re busy. But we all are, and it’s still important to prioritize time to laugh, flirt, and play around with your spouse.
Be vulnerable: Share your insecurities and emotions with your partner. Emotional intimacy grows when partners feel safe to express themselves fully. Openness and a willingness to be vulnerable are often rewarded with deeper intimacy.
3. Nurture Physical Intimacy
Stay connected physically: Intimacy is not just about sex but also about affection and closeness. Holding hands, hugging, and maintaining a physical connection builds a sense of closeness.
I feel like so many couples try to escalate their sexual experiences to such an extreme degree that the simple pleasures of intimacy are lost on them.
Find a balance between simplicity and spice.
Talk about sexual needs: Keep the lines of communication open about your sexual relationship. Discuss desires and preferences openly, and work together to keep intimacy alive. Avoid being critical of each other’s performance or bodies.
That’s a recipe for disaster and deep insecurity. Instead, indulge in word selection that encourages what you like and prefer.
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Often, through support and excitement, spouses find their way back to mutual physical desire.
4. Avoid Complacency
Don’t take each other for granted: Sometimes couples fall into a routine and stop putting effort into the relationship. Continue to express appreciation, love, and respect for your partner. The way you used to court each other is the same way you will nurture a long-lasting marriage.
Surprise each other: Small gestures, surprises, and acts of kindness can reignite romance and show that you still value each other.
5. Maintain Trust
Be transparent: Trust is built on transparency. Be open about your interactions with others, and avoid situations that might look suspicious or lead to temptation. In my opinion, prevention is better than cure.
Set clear boundaries: Agree on boundaries with people outside the marriage. Discuss what’s appropriate in terms of friendships or interactions with people of the opposite sex (or any gender you’re attracted to). More importantly, respect boundaries!
6. Recognize and Address Problems Early
Don’t ignore issues: If something feels off in your marriage—whether it’s lack of intimacy, communication problems, or resentment—address it early. Waiting too long can cause problems to fester.
Rug sweeping has never proven to be an effective way to resolve marital issues, let alone prevent infidelity.
At the same time, there’s a time and place for difficult conversations so be sure to be considerate in your approach.
Seek help if needed: If you’re struggling to resolve issues on your own, consider couples counseling. A professional can help both partners navigate difficult conversations and work through problems before they lead to deeper issues.
7. Maintain Mutual Respect
Respect your partner’s individuality: Support their personal growth and independence. When each partner feels respected and valued for who they are, it creates a stronger sense of connection.
Resolve conflicts respectfully: Disagreements are normal, but how you handle them matters. Avoid disrespect, name-calling, or contempt during arguments, as this can erode the relationship.
Keep in mind that without respect, love does not exist or persist.
We must exercise a great deal of consideration for how we respond to our loved ones during times of conflict.
8. Show Appreciation Regularly
Express gratitude: Let your partner know you appreciate them. Regularly express gratitude for their presence in your life, their qualities, and their contributions to the marriage.
It has been widely reported that couples who count their blessings and show appreciation for each other tend to value each other much more.
Celebrate each other: Recognize each other’s accomplishments and milestones, and celebrate the successes in life, no matter how small.
Fostering closeness and unity can prevent gaps from forming in your marriage.
9. Stay Engaged in Each Other’s Lives
Be involved in each other’s world: Take an interest in your partner’s career, hobbies, and social life. Support them in their endeavors and stay engaged in their personal growth.
Nothing feels more lonely than being in a marriage with a spouse who shows disinterest or disrespect for your interests and likes.
Sometimes, showing up with a desire to see your partner happy is more than enough to maintain happiness and closeness.
Share experiences together: Continue to create new experiences as a couple. Try new activities or travel together to keep your relationship fresh and exciting.
This is one of the best ways to keep the romantic fire burning bright.
10. Foster a Strong Friendship
Be each other’s best friend: A strong marriage is built on friendship. Be there for each other in good times and bad, and maintain a deep level of care and concern for your partner’s well-being.
Laugh together: Humor and shared laughter can create a light, joyful atmosphere in the marriage. It helps relieve tension and deepens your connection.
Most importantly, love and intimacy tend to follow laughter.
11. Build a Supportive Environment
Surround yourselves with positive influences: Maintain friendships with people who support your marriage and encourage fidelity. Avoid social circles that condone or encourage cheating.
You’d be surprised by the kind of influence friends have on a marriage. Be wary of ‘friends’ who are known for being cheaters themselves.
They always find ways to justify their actions and seek to encourage others to behave similarly so that they can feel less shitty about themselves.
Limit temptations: While you can’t control all circumstances, you can reduce exposure to situations that may tempt infidelity (e.g., inappropriate friendships, emotionally charged relationships outside the marriage).
Speak to your partner about moving away from social media or certain environments that are conducive to immorality.
12. Stay Committed to Growth
Commit to continuous improvement: Marriage requires ongoing effort. Commit to growing together, whether through personal development, shared goals, or relationship-building activities.
Those who grow together often share a lot of respect and adoration for each other because they understand the amount of effort, time, care, and consideration that is required for growth.
Revisit your relationship goals: Regularly discuss where your relationship is headed, what each of you needs, and how you can continue to support each other’s growth. Mutual relationship goals can inspire people to gravitate closer to each other rather than to other people.
13. Be Mindful of Emotional Affairs
Recognize emotional boundaries: Emotional affairs can be just as damaging as physical affairs. Be mindful of developing too deep of an emotional connection with someone outside the marriage.
Cut off potential emotional affairs: If you notice yourself becoming emotionally attached to someone outside your marriage, redirect that energy back into your relationship. Stop oversharing information with that person, don’t hang out with them alone, and do not invite them into your online or workspace.