How To Meet A Girl If You Are Shy

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Being shy is fine but it does come with its fair share of challenges, especially in romantic situations. Which is probably why you’re here asking this question, how to meet a girl if you are shy. 

All I can do is provide you with a list of tactics I used to meet girls when I was a shy teen and during my early 20’s. 

I would start by putting myself in the position of meeting girls naturally.

By this, I simply mean being in an environment that facilitates communication such as a college or social gathering.

People are primed and ready to interact with others in places like these.

This is why it’s easy to meet someone, strike up a conversation about something relatable and gradually transition it into an attempt at getting her number or asking her out. 

But before I get carried away describing the places to meet a girl, let’s talk about the best tips on how to meet a girl if you are shy and still manage to knock her socks off.

Related post: Dating tips for shy guys

1. Talk to anyone and everyone for starters

Before jumping into the deep end, you can start off small and safe by simply greeting people.

It doesn’t matter whether they’re guys or girls, attractive or not to you, the idea is to develop some confidence in being able to initiate some kind of interaction. 

I did this for a week or two. I was going out on a daily basis back then so it became easier for me to greet people. 

At first, it’s going to feel like a big deal for you. And it should. Give yourself a pat on the back for having the courage to step out of your comfort zone and try something uncomfortable for you.

As time goes on and the more you do it, that excitement you experienced will subside.


Because it will become easy. 

You’ll actually start greeting people almost on instinct because you’ve practiced so much. 

It won’t require the same effort or courage it once did.


Because you practiced until you mastered it. 

And that means you’re ready to take things to the next level. Which is to strike up a conversation with a random person.

Again, it can be anyone and about anything. The idea behind this is to experience what it’s like to introduce yourself to someone and ask them questions without feeling overwhelmed and incredibly nervous. 

In time, you can start practicing more on women.

You’ll get better and better at this until you’re able to actually have a normal conversation with a woman you find attractive and not be overwhelmed with shyness to the extent that it leaves you tongue-tied.

Finally, start asking girls for their numbers or out for coffee.

I’d like to think by this point, much like me, you’d have developed the necessary skills to initiate a conversation with a stranger you find attractive whilst making your intentions clear pretty early on.

Yes, you’ll face some awkward experiences and may even get rejected a few times, but that doesn’t matter because everyone goes through the same thing, even people who are ridiculously confident.

The ultimate goal for this exercise isn’t to become a pickup artist but to develop communication skills and confidence.

So even if you get rejected, that’s not the measurement for success with this exercise.

Having the skills and courage to make a move is.

Related post: Should I text my crush? 

2. Try online dating

Given the popularity of dating apps, it shouldn’t be too hard to meet girls online who are willing to get to know you over text for a bit before meeting you.

For these girls, it may be the only way they can sift through the trash until they find a potential candidate to go on a date with.

But for you, it’s the perfect opportunity for you to skip through the step of having to approach a stranger in person and try to start a conversation. 

You still need to have some degree of confidence online to succeed but probably less so than in real life. 

Here’s something you can do to make this more beneficial to you in the long run. Try to be your truest self online. 

By being your best and truest self, you may develop more confidence and comfort when meeting these girls because you’ll know that they are actually accepting and interested in you based on that initial interaction. 

Think about it, what’s there to be shy or nervous about if she already is interested enough to meet you after getting to know you online for a bit?

Related post: 20 Tips for dating someone new

3. Don’t try to be someone else

I know that a lot of shy guys tend to watch pickup artists and try to mimic their approach but to no avail.

If anything, it actually results in a lot of rejection and embarrassment. 

Why? Because you’re being inauthentic.

Try to think about this properly – if you’re already shy to be yourself right now, what makes you think copying a loud, extroverted and super confident guy will work for you? 

Instead, develop your own style. Confidence stems from the acknowledgment of your truest self. 

So, if you’re really committed to learning how to meet a girl if you are shy, start by developing a strong understanding of yourself.

By being authentic, you can tap into latent confidence and do much better at socializing and meeting a girl. 

4. Go to places you’re familiar with

As someone who battles with shyness, what you want to do is limit the number of unpredictable factors in any given situation related to socializing and romance. 

In other words, reduce the number of things that add to your possible shyness, anxiety or stress. 

People tend to overlook this but visiting a new place or environment that you’re not comfortable in or accustomed to can hinder your ability to get comfortable.

As someone who used to be shy, all I was looking for was comfort. Once I was able to feel comfortable, the shyness tended to subside and I was able to open up and be my best self.

So if you’re planning on approaching women or going on a date with someone new, choose a location that you feel comfortable in and familiar with.

This is one of my most effective tips on how to meet a girl if you are shy.

Trust me, it will make you feel much better compared to the opposite. 

5. Pursue your passions

You’d be surprised how often you could meet girls who actually end up liking you by pursuing your passions.


Well, it’s simple. You are putting yourself in a place or environment with people who have a similar mindset as you.

It’s easy to strike up a conversation with a girl when you are engaging in a common interest.

It takes the pressure off you and your passion for whatever it is you’re doing will create a positive, attractive and sexy energy about you. 

Make a list of all the things you’d like to try or pursue and go for it.

On one hand, you’ll probably meet girls who are interested in you as much as you are interested in them. On the other hand, you’ll be having fun pursuing things that mean something to you.

Related post: How do two introverts start dating

You’ll always cross paths with a girl

That’s something I’m absolutely certain of. As long as you have the right intention and you open yourself up to the idea of meeting new people, life will facilitate it.

All you have to do is put yourself out into the world.

I believe that effort is one of the best driving force for opportunities. The harder I work, the luckier I get.

So at the very least, try to meet a girl. Even if you’re shy, embrace it and try to approach women.

You’d be surprise how many girls may be impressed if they learn that you’re shy but mustered up the courage to try and talk to them.

I really think that you don’t have much to lose by taking a chance. Start there.

Just take a chance.

And keep taking chances until you finally develop the skills necessary to pick up girls or get lucky enough to meet a woman who makes things super comfortable and easy for you.

I hope that you found this article on how to meet a girl if you are shy to be insightful and helpful. Please leave your thoughts and questions in the comment section below.

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