How To Make My Boyfriend Miss Me! (Incredible Advice That Works)

To have a healthy relationship, couples must create space to miss each other. Too much attention and validation is dangerous. Perhaps, you’ve figured that out or you feel as if your boyfriend doesn’t appreciate you and it makes you feel undesirable. In this article, I’m going to share some incredible advice on how to make your boyfriend miss you. 

The best way to make your boyfriend miss you is to reframe the manner in which you intend to spend time with him. In other words, improving the quality of the experiences and time spent with your boyfriend will create a more compelling desire to be with each other. When apart, he will draw on the memory of these experiences to miss you intensely.

It’s quite simple. 

People miss other people who help them experience compelling feelings of joy, love, excitement, passion and desire within them.

Unfortunately, we cannot create or motivate those feelings without quality experiences and proper timing.

If you are constantly in the presence of your boyfriend or seeking out his attention, the quality of time spent together will decrease because you can’t maintain high levels of energy, effort and emotion constantly. 

Take exercise for example. During the first 10 – 15 minutes of a workout, it feels easy and you have an abundance of energy to draw on, even if the workout is difficult.

Continue for another 15 minutes and it gets harder.

The more time under pressure, the less energy one has.

By the time you’re into an hour of exercise, you’re unable to perform each move with the same intensity, focus, force and form that you did during the first 15 minutes.

If you were to take a break between sets, now, that would make a difference.

You’d be able to produce higher quality repetitions without burning out as quickly.

The same idea can be applied to this topic on making your boyfriend miss you.

You need to have space between time spent with each other to prevent emotional burnout.

Furthermore, people can’t experience these emotions without a break.

So, the answer is quite simple.

Focus on spending quality time with your boyfriend followed by quality time spent without him.

It’s not just about giving him space to miss you.

How you spend your time away from him will directly influence his feelings for you when the two of you are together.

If you’re neglecting yourself as an individual and wasting your time on a regular basis, it’s going to reflect in your appearance, behavior and emotions when you’re around your boyfriend.

You can’t give the best of yourself to someone when a great deal of your time is spent wasting away as an individual.

The best and easiest relationships are built by two individuals who take good care of themselves as individuals. 

When you’re putting in extensive amounts of work into improving yourself as a person, you’ll have so much depth to dig into when sharing yourself with someone else. 

The more you have for yourself, the more you can give to another. 

Let me ask you a question and I want you to be intensely honest with yourself.

Are you behaving in the same way you did during the courtship?

As you’ll learn from being in long term relationships, the courtship never ends. 

If you want to keep the spark alive and if you want to nurture love and desire for a long time, you must court each other for the rest of your life.

That’s the key to long lasting relationships.

During the courtship, people put their best foot forward.

You’re always trying to present yourself in the best possible manner while showing a great amount of interest and appreciation for the other person.

Loving behavior leads to love.

Laziness does not.

When has anyone ever described the perfect partner as being lazy?

It’s never happened! 

This isn’t limited to behavior within the relationship.

Laziness in general is frowned upon or undesirable. 

A man or woman who adopts laziness is not attractive. 

That person is not going to take care of themselves.

It is unfair to manipulate your partner into accepting you as a lazy person under the expectation of love.

That’s enabling bad behavior.

I don’t see how that can be attributed to love and good intentions.

What I’m trying to impart is the importance of being someone worth missing.

Okay, now that we’ve touched on the mindset shift required to make your boyfriend miss you, let’s talk about some practical changes you can make to your behavior.

What I won’t do is waste your time with unnecessary information about texting him at certain times and stuff like that.

You can read some of my other work on how to be a good girlfriend because I’ve compiled a useful list that could help you.

Instead, I want to give you an idea of what behavior men emotionally respond to and the kind of things that have made me miss a girl in the past. 

You need to read this article: Does silence make a man miss you?

Tips On Making Your Boyfriend Miss You

1. Shower him with love and attention

If you are barely romantic, soft, loving and nurturing, what exactly does he have to miss?

By nature of being his girlfriend, he’ll obviously miss you at times, especially when the two of you are busy or not together.

But, what you want is for him to miss you so much that it reflects in his behavior.

Men reach a certain age in life when love is not so readily available. 

You’re not showered with praise, affection and adoration like you were as a child or from society in general.

You’re also expected to be strong, hardworking and competitive around other men.

To have someone that allows you to experience the nurturing feelings of love and the soft side of life is a gift to men.

That’s what men innately desire in a partner.

So, be that person for him.

Create experiences that make him feel loved, nurtured and adored. 

This could be through physical touch, words of affirmation, praise, terms of endearment and support. 

These gentle and soft acts of love is something he’s not going to get from anyone else other than you.

When you’re not talking to him or when the two of you haven’t seen each other for a bit, he’s going to crave those feelings again.

At that point, he’s going to think about you and the times that you made him feel loved, adored, supported and nurtured.

It’s such a compelling feeling of desire that he’ll miss you to the point of wanting you all to himself immediately. 

You need to read this article: How to be a good girlfriend

2. Interrupt your patterns and routines

Have you noticed how people lose enthusiasm for things when it no longer appears to be scarce or unpredictable?

The minute someone gets stability or a fixed outcome, their investment and focus lowers, sometimes to their own detriment.

It’s not that we get fatigued.

I think the problem lies with scarcity.

Our brains seem to be wired to place higher value on that which appears scarce, uncontrollable or unfixed.

Ironically, when you’re in a relationship with someone, patterns and routines develop naturally.

Even if you set out to be unpredictable, somehow, over time, you fall into a habit.

Habits are built through persistent action over a significant period of time.

So, perhaps, you get into the habit of texting your boyfriend first thing in the morning, calling him all the time, declaring your love to him in every interaction and so forth.

Your love and affection has become expected and predictable.

To remedy this, I’m not advising you to withhold love and affection.

What I am saying is to be more authentic.

Instead of being loving, adoring and affection out of habit and routine, reserve it for when you really feel it and want to give it.

You’re not always going to be in a loving mood and that’s okay.

Be exactly who you are and express your feelings with more intention instead of like a robot who is automated.

It’s going to create a more balanced expression of love and affection to the point that it reinvigorates your relationship.

He’ll value it more and in turn, miss you at different times. 

I’ve been in relationships that became very habitual. We didn’t know any better and that could have contributed to why we may have taken each other for granted at times.

It’s comforting to provide validation and attention all the time but it’s better to be authentic.

Too much of a good thing leads to normalcy and I don’t think something as special as love should be viewed in that light.

You need to read this article: Should you talk to your boyfriend everyday?

3. Work on your identity and seek abundance

Think about the people who made an impact on you, would you describe them as vanilla or unique in some way?

Did they have some kind of identifiable feature about their personality that made an impact on you?

I notice that the people who have a strong identity are much more memorable and make a larger impact on people than others.

Recently, I was watching a video by Dr Joe Dispenza and he explained why the majority of people are single.

He explains the importance of being abundant. Not in materialistic things but in your identity as a person.

Give love to others and you will naturally attract love towards you. Help others and you’ll find yourself being helped by others. Advise others and you’ll attract guidance from others.

To do any of these things, you must possess an identity that has been earned and worked for.

In other words, be a great friend, partner, parent and teacher to yourself, first and foremost. Find validation, love, acceptance, guidance, peace and attention in yourself. 

When these flow through you in abundance, naturally, you’ll share it with those around you.

When your boyfriend is around you, it enriches him and vice versa.

There’s a mutual exchange of love, support, advice and energy. 

So many of us have spent most of our lives looking to get things from others. We want love from others. We want help from others. 

We want things from others rather than intentionally seeking out people who we can give to.

Why would people miss us if we are constantly taking from them?

Why would your boyfriend miss you if he’s constantly giving to you and you’re in a constant state of need or lack?

Work on your identity as a person and you’ll make an impact on others. You’ll be more memorable. At the same time, giving to yourself creates abundance that can be shared with other people.

Those people will be enriched by your presence and they’ll happily want to share with you.

That’s what’s going to happen with your boyfriend as you work on yourself.

He’ll miss everything about you and the way you make him feel about himself. 

Think about it. 

People who are accepting and loving of themselves make others feel accepted and loved. What we have inside of us directly and indirectly influences the people around us.

If you want love, be loving and possess love within yourself and for yourself. 

As a side note, you’ll require focus to develop your identity. Naturally, you won’t be around all the time to constantly be seeking attention, validation and love from your boyfriend.

So, in a practical way, you’ll create healthy space for him to miss you.

You need to read this article: How to become the hottest version of yourself

Why Do You Want To Make Your Boyfriend Miss You?

I find it interesting that you would be looking for ways to make him miss you because that isn’t an objective one would have if they felt truly happy and content with their relationship.

Is it possible that this is a sign of a bigger problem?

Are you perhaps feeling as if your boyfriend doesn’t value you enough or makes you feel as if you’re not a priority to him?

Naturally, people get lazy in relationships and they don’t express the same level of desire for each other as they would during the honeymoon phase.

But, it should never reach a point of making you feel insecure or as if you’re not desired much by your partner.

If you feel this way, it may be a symptom of a bigger problem.

Communication is always helpful unless the reason for why he hasn’t been enthusiastic enough to initiate contact or make you feel desired is due to overcommunication.

It is true that if one partner shoulders the responsibility of initiating all contact and dates, resentment may set in because you may not feel loved and desired.

In respect to the other party, they may take your efforts for granted and assume that it’s okay to be lazy because you will compensate for that.

Talking through these issues and making subtle changes that reflect a more healthy dynamic should fix things.

What you don’t want to do is avoid any form of conflict.

It is far better to voice your concerns and express your worries than to push it away and pretend as if things are fine.

Use these challenges as an opportunity to grow as a couple.

I’m of the opinion that a good relationship and the right partner will not bail at the sight of an obstacle.

When two people are committed to giving love and support to each other, things fall into place easily.

If your needs are not being met, vocalize it.

Help your partner to be a better partner.

At least then, if they refuse to make changes and continue to neglect the relationship, you’ll have some degree of certainty in regards to where you stand with this man.

You need to read this article: Why you feel lonely in your relationship

Final Thoughts

I hope that by the time you reach this section, you realize that there’s no need for you to make your boyfriend miss you.

When you are functioning from a space of abundance and you continue to work on your identity as an individual, you’ll naturally behave in a manner that makes your boyfriend miss you.

There’s no need for you to constantly chase after him or to intentionally withhold love from him.

Just develop a healthy balance between your role as a girlfriend and as a woman in society.

You deserve as much attention and affection that you give to others.

The right guy will respond amazingly to these healthy changes whereas the wrong guy will continue to make you feel unheard, unloved and unappreciated.

Don’t sell yourself short.

You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you.

With that being said, I hope you found this article on how to make your boyfriend miss you to be insightful and helpful. If you would like my personal help with this issue, check out my email coaching services for more information.