How To Make Him Want You: 20 Tips That Work


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If you’re looking for a list of tried and tested tips on how to make him want you, then you’re in the right place because I have exactly what you need.

Understanding the fine art of attraction can be quite tricky, especially if you lack the experience of dating many men and asking the right questions to ascertain what they’re looking for beyond physical appearances.

As a guy and relationship coach, I’m obviously privy to what a man is looking for in a woman. More importantly, I understand the fundamental principles of men psychology.

Specific behavior can trigger a specific and predictable reaction in men. And in this article, I’m going to highlight 20 tips on how to make him want you without having to belittle yourself, chase him or compete with countless women.

If you are sick and tired of being rejected, dumped or ghosted, then I strongly advise you to study and mobilize the techniques covered below.

Now let’s take a quick look at the 20 tips on how to make him want you.

  1. Don’t chase him.
  2. Be a challenge.
  3. Embrace your femininity.
  4. Highlight your most attractive features.
  5. Be flirty and tease him.
  6. Don’t text him all day.
  7. Leave him wanting more of your attention.
  8. Don’t tell him how you feel too soon.
  9. Be a challenge.
  10. Make him a little jealous.
  11. Be mysterious.
  12. Focus on your goals and passions in life.
  13. Stroke his ego.
  14. Support him during difficult times.
  15. Avoid being too clingy.
  16. Be confident and self-assured.
  17. Love yourself.
  18. Be open-minded and fun in bed.
  19. Be patient.
  20. Don’t accept the friend zone

Alright, let’s analyze each of these tips in detail and discuss how to apply them in real-life situations.

1. Don’t chase him

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The best way to chase a man into the arms of another woman is to chase him desperately, especially if he seems to be less interested than he was before.

There’s a big difference between pursuing a man and chasing him. The latter puts you in a position of being walked over, treated poorly and viewed negatively.

Pursuit is subtle by nature. You make an effort to reach out to him but only to an extent.

When your effort is matched by him, then you may continue contacting him with the intention of giving him the opportunity to facilitate a romantic date.

If you sense that he is pulling away or losing interest, rather than chase him, match his effort. Pull back as well and allow some distance between the two of you.

Even if this feels counter-intuitive, try it and watch how he does a turn around and starts making an effort again.

Why?

Because by not chasing him, it becomes clear that unless he is willing to make an effort, you’ll carry on with your life.

2. Be a challenge

Playing a little hard to get can actually work to your benefit.

Why?

Because most men like a challenge. Having to work for your attention and affection makes you appear to be a woman of high value.

Don’t jump when he says jump.

Be opinionated, stand for your beliefs and speak up for what is right.

By standing your ground, he will respect you more than the women who sacrifice all of their needs, wants and opinions to earn his approval.

3. Embrace your femininity

I challenge you to ask any guy you know to describe what he likes about a woman and what he looks for in a future wife, he’ll probably list variations of the following qualities. 

Traits such as nurturance, sensitivity, sweetness, supportiveness, gentleness, warmth, passivity, cooperativeness, expressiveness, modesty, humility, empathy, affection, tenderness, and being emotional, kind, helpful, devoted, and understanding are considered feminine.”

Obviously, depending on your culture, community, religion and other social factors, the traits considered feminine may vary. 

And that’s perfectly okay because there are a handful of feminine traits that are universally loved by men. 

Nurturance, sweetness, empathy and affection are among the top feminine traits a man loves in a woman he wants. 

Identify which of these traits you possess and maximize their presence within you. 

Related post: How to get a guy to like you

4. Highlight your most attractive features

Men are visual creatures and despite what people think, we appreciate the effort more than anything. 

You don’t have to be an unrealistic version of perfect to make him want you. If anything, simply drawing attention to your best features may be more than enough to create visual attraction. 

Whether you have nice eyes, a beautiful smile, great hair, wide hips, a big butt, sizeable boobs, an hour-glass figure or a curvaceous one, work with what you have. 

Additionally, highlighting specific features have the tendency of drowning out other less than appealing ones. 

In other words, you don’t have to be perfect. You just have to emphasize your best feature. 

Related post: How to be more sexy and attractive

5. Be flirty and tease him

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Don’t lose the opportunity to create a romantic and flirty vibe or else you run the risk of getting friend-zoned. 

When it comes to flirting, either you’re really good or just okay. If you lack the skills to flirt like a pro, keep it simple. 

Compliment him, use sexual innuendos, talk about how sexy you find a specific thing he does, tease him when he does something silly and just have fun. 

I’m willing to bet that if he is even remotely interested in you, he’ll facilitate many opportunities to flirt. All you will need to do is be receptive and go along with it.

6. Don’t text him all-day

If you want to encourage a man to take you out on a romantic date, you have to give him a compelling reason too other than physical attraction.

Be design, a date is an opportunity to get to know someone and explore chemistry. 

We also ask someone out on a date when we desire to spend some time with them. But if you’re texting all the time and spewing your guts out to him about every little thought you have or story from your past, does he really have to meet you to get to know you?

I don’t think so. 

Another reason why it’s not a good idea to text all day is that you come across as less of a challenge. Additionally, texting has the unfortunate effect of creating misunderstandings and unnecessary drama. 

Context and emotion do not translate well over text. So to avoid all these issues, just limit the amount of time you spend texting him.

Related post: The art of double texting without looking desperate

7. Leave him wanting more of your attention

A smart technique for ensuring that he wants you is to limit the time he gets to spend with you.

We can’t want or desire something we already have, at our disposal, all the time. Scarcity creates a desire and a want for more.

To create some scarcity, to avoid boredom and to keep him feeling amazing whenever he talks or meets you, leave the interaction while you’re both having the most fun.

Even during a date that is going well, leave before things get boring, tiring or drawn out.

I promise you, this is a great way of how to make him want you like crazy.

8. Don’t tell him how you feel too soon

From personal experience and the testimony of many guys I’ve coached and know personally, they all attest to the positive effects of uncertainty on attraction and desire. 

Uncertainty is exciting. Not knowing where you stand with a woman makes a guy feel curious, excited and motivated to connect with her. 

Whenever I look back at my own relationships, I can clearly remember how emotionally charged I felt during those early stages of courtship when I felt like they had feelings for me but didn’t know for certain.

This made me want to create situations that encouraged them to tell or show me how they feel. 

With that being said, hold off on telling him how you feel until you’re pretty certain that he is invested and emotionally connected with you. 

Related post: Does he like me? 25 signs he’s totally into you

9. Be playful and fun

Love and attraction grow or multiply when feelings of joy, happiness and excitement are experienced between two people. 

Life is stressful as it is. Most of us are in search of something or someone that can add a layer of pure happiness and meaning to our life. 

Being a playful and fun person who adds light in his life will have a profoundly positive effect on how he feels about you. 

Try not to take yourself too seriously. You don’t have to act too mature or too serious in his company. 

It’s far more beneficial to be upbeat and fun instead. Once he starts associating feeling good with being around you, he’ll be wanting you like crazy.

If you have a good sense of humor, let it run wild!

10. Make him a little jealous

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Jealousy is the green monster of doom for some people but it also is a wake-up call and reminder for the blessings we have in life. 

I’m not advising you to rub your dating life in his face or to go out of your way to pit some other guy against him. That’s ridiculous. 

Instead, tease him by dropping the name of a friend you’ve been talking to for a while. Alternately, talk about a celeb that you find very attractive. 

The goal is to make him feel slightly jealous. Just enough that he starts to realize that he wants you or feels bothered by the possibility of some other guy earning your attention and affection.

11. Be mysterious

Remember how I mentioned that uncertainty has a positive effect on attraction because it creates a feeling or sense of excitement?

Well, being mysterious is a great way of achieving that result. 

I know that, much like guys, women tend to get excited to open up to someone once they realize he may be someone they like and want to be with. 

But when you take it too far and divulge everything about you as a person to him too quickly, it diminishes the excitement of a new courtship. 

Let him ask you questions before opening up.

This is a clear indication that he wants to know you better. That way, you can ask him questions and encourage him to open up as well which will create moments for you to connect with him on mutual likes or dislikes. 

Make him earn your attention, please. If you throw yourself at him too easily and too fast, he may not value you nor will he be dying to discover who you are on a deeper level. 

12. Focus on your goals and passions in life

I always advise my coaching clients and in my content to not jump into another relationship until they are happily single.

The keyword is ‘happily’ single. Why? Because to find happiness as a single woman, you must first discover who you truly are and what you really like outside of a romantic relationship. 

When you find a path in life that fulfills you, it’s infinitely easier to be in a romantic relationship because you enter the dynamic in a state of pre-existing happiness, positivity, joy and fulfillment.

And like we mentioned before, attraction and love are developed and nurtured via these feelings. 

Trust me when I tell you, men have a list for their ideal woman. Much of the common qualities you’d find on those lists will be in your wheelhouse if you simply live a wholesome life that is designed around your passions and goals.

13. Stroke his ego

Let me be brutally honest, men like to be complimented. To an extent, we all have shades of egocentrism. 

Feeding that ego can sometimes make us favor someone more than others. 

Petty, I know. But, it’s reality. And I would be amiss not to mention something that factors into real-life relationships. 

It’s quite simple to stroke a man’s ego. Find something that he values or makes an effort to be great in a competitive way and compliment him on it. 

If he’s a bodybuilder, gush about his muscles. If he’s academic, gush about his intellect. If he makes an effort to dress well, make a verbal note of his fashion sense. 

Let me give you a tip on how to stroke his ego better than others do – say he is better than other guys you know. 

It’s as simple as that. 

Feed into his desire to feel a bit like a leader or alpha and you’re one step ahead of the curve.

14. Support him during difficult times

Am I wrong in saying that there’s a belief or idea that women are generally more emotionally fine-tuned than men?

I think, if we’re generalizing, this is true. Women do experience faster growth of emotional maturity than a lot of men.

A good woman understands how to nurture feelings. She can be compassionate, understanding, empathetic and motivating. 

As men, we have a hard time opening up to other men about how we feel. I feel like men should be more expressive and forthcoming with their emotions. But, we live in reality and the situation is as it is. 

Be that as it may, men often thrive when they are able to experience emotional support from women who they love. 

Listen to him when he is going through a difficult time. You’d be surprised how close the two of you will be after he opens up to you.

Let him know that you won’t judge him in any way for being vulnerable and that you admire the man that he is.

15. Avoid being too clingy

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It’s okay to be clingy with a man only once his feelings are engaged and you both want to be in a relationship. 

Be that as it may, I would caution you against being overly clingy because it can scare a guy away, particularly when he feels like his freedom is being threatened. 

Give him the space to miss you. But more importantly, give him the opportunity to choose you over others. 

In such an event, you won’t need to chase him or be ultra clingy because you’ll have peace of mind knowing that he wants to be with you or in your presence. 

Believe me, nothing feels as good as being desired without having to chase someone and guilt trip them into being with you. 

16. Be confident and self-assured

Confidence and self assurance is sexy. Men love this as much as women do. 

Analyze a woman you know who makes most men become crazy about her. I’m willing to bet that she comes across as either confident or self-assured. 

She either exudes this confidence in her voice, in the manner that she talks, in her walk, her body language, her fashion sense or the way she behaves around men. 

Here’s what I suggest – rewire your brain to focus on your highlights and good qualities. Practice affirmations every single day.

In time, you’ll be more cognisant of things that are great about you rather than your flows. This will reflect in your interaction with men.

You’ll be more confident and less afraid of taking ownership of your best qualities. 

17. Love yourself

Before anyone else can love you, it is imperative that you love yourself. 

The way I see it, loving yourself encourages you to make decisions that don’t belittle your self worth and dignity. 

Loving yourself creates standards, particularly with the way you show up in life and the type of behavior you require from others who want to be a part of your life.

People who have a strong sense of love for themselves give others a reason to look at them with a burning curiosity because these days, so many people are blinded by the desire to be accepted by everyone else at the expense of their own values, morals, ethics and needs. 

Just imagine, to stand out from a crowd, all you have to do is love yourself and embrace your own identity. 

I think that’s pretty darn cool. 

18. Be open minded and fun in bed

Healthy sex life is an important characteristic of serious relationships. Being married to someone, for instance, necessitates a stronger degree of effort to keep things exciting and fun.

I can say with certainty that 99% of men are wired to be more sexually motivated than women. 

A study conducted by Ohio State University found that the young men in the study thought about sex on average 19 times per day whereas young women thought about it 10 times per day. 

The difference is almost double. It’s clear a significant metric to consider. 

Satisfying a carnal desire can have a profoundly positive effect on a relationship. The more exciting and fun it is, the more he’ll want you and desire you. 

I hate to sound crude but don’t just be boring and lay there. Engage him, be playful, be passionate and try to satisfy him as much as he tries to satisfy you.

19. Be Patient

I really wish there was a way to truly speed things up and predict when he will want you and love you. But, all we can rely on is time.

If it’s meant to be and you follow the tips mentioned in this article, you’ll get him.

Be patient. Don’t try to rush things. If you believe in fate or destiny, then you already know that what’s meant for you will find you. So if it’s already written for you, what’s the point in panicking or freaking out?

Enjoy the process and live life with as much enthusiasm as you can.

If you focus on being happy and the good things in life, the law of attraction will work to your advantage.

20. Don’t accept the friend zone

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One of the greatest ways of asserting your worth and adding consequences to rejection while maintaining your self-respect is to walk away after rejection. 

Agreeing to be his friend while he pursues other women is a waste of time and harmful to your well being. 

I talk about this quite a lot but you only get what you negotiate for in life. If someone takes a deal off the table, be prepared to walk away.

Either they will walk away too or they’ll change their mind and come back to the table. 

Don’t agree to being just friends if you feel strongly about wanting him romantically. 

I strongly recommend you read this article on the no contact rule and how to use it as a tool for how to make him want you.

Related post: My ex wants to be friends – why it’s a bad idea

In conclusion

I want to leave you with something to think about. It’s not good enough to just know how to make him want you.

It is the application of these tips and techniques that truly matter and improve your chances of making him want you like crazy. 

Through practice, you will refine the way you behave around a man you want. With time, you’ll eliminate all those unnecessary mistakes that ruin attraction and you’ll become way better at dating and relationships. 

With that being said, I wish you all the best and I hope you enjoyed this article on how to make him want you. 

Please feel free to share your experiences or questions in the comment section below.

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