Many years ago, I remember being blindsided and flustered when my girlfriend asked for some space. It made no sense to me. Why would someone want space from their own partner? Something was obviously wrong and from my little knowledge at the time, I could tell that I may have chased her too much. So, I decided to experiment to figure out how to make her miss you when she wants space.
Give her space and do not contact her the entire time. This is the most effective way to make her miss you. Silence and distance can undo the damage of over pursuit and chasing. Furthermore, it can alter her perception of you to one that is more favorable if she started to view you as a man who is needy, clingy or weak.
What I can tell you with certainty is that chasing will not work. If anything, it will drive her away for good.
I tried everything and found that doing little to nothing is far more effective at making her miss you when she wants space than anything else.
Related post: How to make her miss you like crazy
Why does she want space?
Let’s be honest, we crave space and time alone when someone is overbearing and overwhelming. Additionally, when we are trying to work up the courage to face our fears of doing something difficult, we often try to create some separation between us and the situation.
Time away and space from someone provides us with enough silence to measure our feelings and gather our thoughts.
If she’s confused about her feelings and is considering breaking up with you, space is one of the first things she’ll ask for.
Her hope is that the time away from each other will lessen the blow and be easier on you.
More importantly, it helps her distance herself from you enough to pull the trigger and dump you.
Does it work? To some extent. It helps her make a decision but I don’t think it’s going to help you deal with a breakup any better.
In fact, I would go so far as to argue that it makes it worse to be dumped after taking space from each other.
Now, understandably, your brain is telling you to avoid this distance and to chase after her so she doesn’t get the time to reflect on her feelings and grow more distant.
Ironically, that’s what will influence her decision to leave you.
What she doesn’t understand is that silence can be powerful. And the emotional turmoil caused by a split, even temporarily, is unsettling.
She’s used to having you around. This has created an impression that you’ll always be there so long as she wants you. In other words, she lowkey expects you to chase after her and always be available to be with her.
By flipping the script and giving her the gift of missing you, she’ll be left with the jarring, uncomfortable and unsettling effects of silence.
Should you give her space?
Yes, absolutely. Give her space but go on with your life. Don’t say much to her and definitely don’t show her how upset you are.
If your goal is to win this girl back, then I would suggest using this approach. It’s the most effective.
When you both stop talking, she’s going to expect you to chase after her, check up on her, be sad or try to get her attention.
Don’t give her that satisfaction.
Instead, go radio silent.
Leave her completely confused and in the dark about how you’re feeling and what you’re doing.
This will plant a few seeds of doubt in her mind. Because she expected you to chase after her or be destroyed by her request, not hearing from you is going to confuse her. If there’s one thing you take away from this article on how to make her miss you when she wants space, let it be this.
She’ll start to wonder whether you actually felt as strongly about her as she assumed.
At first, you’ll notice that her social media is thriving. She’ll be posting frequently and acting as if nothing has changed in her life. Don’t buy into it. Even if she’s legitimately having the time of her life, don’t let it get to you and under no circumstances should you let her get a whiff of how you really feel.
Especially if you’re upset, sad and lonely.
Knowing that you’re falling apart without her will make her pity you.
Do you really want her to pity you? Trust me, it won’t do anything good for you.
Eventually, that exciting buzz she’s on will fade.
When it does, she’ll start thinking about you. Not having you around will start to affect her.
She’ll look at your social media or activity online to find out how you’re feeling.
What she wants is to see you missing her.
This will ease her anxiety and propel her back into a better mood knowing that she can have you whenever she wants because you’re waiting for her.
Related post: What happens when you stop chasing her?
More tips on making her miss you when she wants space
I would strongly advise you to not text or call her at all during this time. I remember the first time an ex asked for space. It came out of leftfield and I was shocked. She was honest enough to tell me that she had doubts about our relationship and needed time to figure out what she wanted.
Rather than text her during this time, I just seized all communication. Furthermore, I didn’t freak out or chase her when she asked for space.
I was respectful and maintained my composure.
In fact, I flipped the script. I told her that perhaps she’s right and I think I’ll use this time to figure out how I feel as well.
I did let her know that I still love her and would like to work on things.
And that was it.
During that time, she was posting updates on social media like crazy.
It looked like she was having the best time of her life while I was feeling rejected and defeated.
I won’t even lie, this made me mad.
So, I decided to delete my social media apps from my phone and I drowned myself in activities. I worked more, I gymed harder and I used all this free time to hang out with friends.
It took about a week before my ex came back talking about how much she missed me and felt sure about us.
Here’s the thing, I didn’t open her first message until a day or two after she sent it.
She sent follow up messages and tried to call when she didn’t hear back from me.
To be honest, I wanted to send a distinct and non-vocalized message to her that there are consequences to all choices. If you want space and take my presence in your life for granted, there’s always going to be that risk of losing me.
Lastly, use this time to focus on improving yourself. Even if it’s just a week, spend that time doing something that benefits you.
I know it’s difficult to think about other things when all you want to do is fix your relationship or win her back but there’s really nothing you can do and should do.
Make a list of all the things you could have done to turn her off and follow it up with a list of improvements you can make as a man. This will greatly benefit you in the future.
You shouldn’t have to force someone to be in your life. That’s my philosophy. Those who see your worth and appreciate the effort you make will appreciate and gravitate towards you.
Those who don’t will often find any excuse to leave. Let them.
Don’t settle for someone who fails to see how amazing you are. Try your best to be strong during this time. When you are overcome with emotion and the fear of loss is planting thoughts into your mind, sleep on it. This has been a simple technique that has saved me from embarrassment and regret many times.
Sleep on it and let 24 hours pass. More than likely, you’ll calm down and realize that whatever you had planned was not a good idea.
Give her space and if she ends up missing you, she’ll be back better than ever.
With that being said, I hope you enjoyed this article on how to make her miss you when she wants space. Feel free to leave your questions and thoughts in the comment section below.