Finding someone you love and who understands you is truly a beautiful experience. The right person can change your life in so many ways. Even though the two of you may have all the best intentions in the world, it doesn’t guarantee that your relationship will last. So, in this article, I’m going to share the lessons I learned on how to make a relationship last.
I hate to have started this article on such a gloomy note but it’s a fact of life that most of the relationships we have will end.
That’s not necessarily a bad thing because it just makes the relationship that lasts all the more special.
But, you can’t just sit back and expect a relationship to work out because you’re in love and because you expect it to.
Every relationship requires consistent effort and indefinite hard work to not just survive but thrive.
So, I’ve made a list of everything you should be doing to make a relationship last a lifetime.
1. Keep dating each other
Just because you’re in a long-term and stable relationship doesn’t mean that you should stop dating and courting each other.
It’s not enough to just be around each other. You have to make an effort to nurture the bond you share with each other.
Through shared experiences.
You’re not going to experience much joy if you live the same routine in the same place for the rest of your life.
Think of it in this way – everything that you did during the courtship is what you should continue to do in the relationship for the rest of it.
2. Always be honest
Honesty is the best policy and it’s a great way to develop a relationship that lasts. Nobody is perfect and the two of you are going to mess up.
That’s when honesty comes into play because sharing the truth with your partner is a sign of respect and a willingness to set aside your ego for the betterment of the relationship.
I’m not saying that there won’t be some consequences to being honest at times but if the two of you plan on making a relationship last, you have to be honest with each other.
But, honesty doesn’t just apply to mistakes.
It is imperative that you are honest with your partner about everything. When you like something, tell them. When you dislike something, tell them.
This will keep the flow of communication running smoothly and this is important for a long lasting relationship.
3. Consider your partner’s feelings
To consider means to think about how your partner would feel before doing something.
By considering the pros and cons of a decision, it creates a healthy relationship where both parties are valuing each other and prioritizing the relationship over selfish desires.
Believe me when I tell you that so many unnecessary arguments and problems can be avoided when you just take a moment to ask yourself the following questions, what would my partner think or feel if I did this?
This can apply to things you should do and shouldn’t do.
4. Pay attention to each other’s needs
This builds right into the advice above on how to make a relationship last. When someone’s needs are not met in a relationship, they will begin to feel dissatisfied and the relationship will start to suffer.
Obviously, good communication will help with this problem but not if you aren’t listening attentively.
Pay attention to your partner. Listen when they are talking about you. Don’t just brush off their complaints as nagging. They’re trying to express a lack of fulfillment and you need to be aware of where both of you are falling short.
A relationship will last if the two of you make an effort to pay attention to the needs of the relationship.
And this is why I believe that every relationship requires hard work.
To love is easy but nurturing a relationship requires work.
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5. Don’t allow fights to become explosive
Every couple will fight at some point or the other. It’s natural. As your relationship progresses and the two of you spend more time with each other, you’ll butt heads at times.
You may not be able to avoid fights but there should be a level of respect that must be maintained at all times.
When you start to gravitate towards harsh insults, abusive cursing and personal attacks, you’re heading towards a relationship that is doomed to fail.
A relationship can only last if there is a stable amount of respect.
For this reason, it is better to take some time apart to cool down than to damage the relationship by going too far in a fight.
Don’t attack each other when you should be attacking the problem.
Your partner is not your enemy!
6. Give each other some space
It’s tempting to try and spend as much time as you possibly can with your partner but that doesn’t mean it comes without consequences.
Being in each other’s face all the time may cause unnecessary arguments to occur as well as the feeling of being overwhelmed.
For this reason, it’s actually a good idea to give each other some space just for a bit. This will provide the two of you with an opportunity to miss each other.
Then, when the two of you see each other again, you will be overcome with attraction and excitement.
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7. Don’t stop making an effort to look good
Most of us desire comfort. It brings about a sense of ease and enjoyment that is addictive. The problem is that a long-term relationship may bring about so much comfort that we start losing interest in making an effort.
We just assume that our partner will always find us attractive, even if we let ourselves go and make little effort in grooming or styling ourselves.
This is a mistake and can cause a loss of attraction.
Don’t just assume that it’s okay to become mediocre. That’s not a standard worth striving for.
So, make a consistent effort to be fit and healthy, groom and beautify, dress well for your size and make sure you smell great.
8. Try new things and be spontaneous
One of the most effective ways to suck all the joy and excitement out of a relationship is by embracing monotony and routine.
I see far too many couples who are in a relationship become bored because they just settle for a routine.
If I’m being brutally honest, this is the kind of mistake that I made as well. This can be traced back to the consequences of being too comfortable.
Adding spontaneity and fun to your relationship will make it last. You’ll have such a great time with each other!
And the great part is that it’s not difficult to be spontaneous. Just make an effort to try new things.
- Visit new restaurants.
- Check out new places.
- Travel locally or internationally.
- Surprise your partner with a random call.
- Take them on an unplanned date.
9. Be supportive
Life can be tough and the system isn’t designed in such a manner to afford everyone the ability to chase their goals and dreams with ease.
In times of need, a loving and supportive partner can keep you sane. They can be the pillar of support that helps you to weather any storm.
By the end of each battle, your relationship thrives with a renewed sense of trust and loyalty. All of that stems from a willingness to support each other through hard times.
It won’t be easy but it’s worth it.
Offer your partner encouragement, help them to open up about their feelings, don’t judge them for having a low moment and remind them that they are not alone.
You have no idea how important this is for creating a relationship that lasts a long time.
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10. Learn to compromise
If there’s one piece of advice you take from this article on how to make a relationship last, let it be this. Compromise or finding a balance in your relationship will help it to last.
Regardless of how similar the two of you are, there will be things that you disagree on.
You may want different things at times and in those moments, you absolutely need to compromise or else one or both of you will resent the other.
Not compromising at times will really tarnish the relationship in the long run.
Sit down with each other and discuss a solution or compromise that makes the two of you feel content.
Just remember this – Attack the problem, not each other.
11. Exercise trust and loyalty
A relationship is not going to last without trust and loyalty. On one hand, you have to be honest and trustworthy to each other.
This may require you to be extremely open with each other and to avoid putting yourself in a position of making a mistake or hurting your partner.
Granted, none of us are perfect but if you are choosing to commit to your partner, set everything aside and go all in.
12. Be forgiving
The one thing we can all agree on is the fact that none of us are perfect and we are bound to make mistakes.
You or your partner are going to mess up from time to time.
Sometimes, in a big way.
What I know is that forgiveness is mandatory for a relationship to last.
The thing about forgiving someone is that you should not hold it over them.
Once you forgive, you have to let it go and trust that your partner will not hurt or upset you in that way again.
13. Develop an identity for yourself
Your partner doesn’t want a yes man or yes woman, they want to be with the person who they fell in love with.
The person who had his or her own likes and dislikes, their opinion, their own passion and their own dreams.
It takes two complete individuals to make a successful team.
And if you want a relationship that lasts a lifetime, it is imperative that the two of you invest time into growing as individuals or else the relationship will turn boring and stale.
14. Don’t involve too many people in your relationship
A relationship revolves around two people who choose to be together.
That should always be respected.
When you start allowing too many people to know what’s happening in your relationship and they start to meddle, that can create unnecessary problems for the relationship.
As much as possible, maintain healthy boundaries in regards to your relationship.
Don’t go sharing your problems with everyone in your life because too many cooks in the kitchen spoil the dish.
Turn to your partner and communicate with them about your relationship. If you need the advice of someone else, find one person who you trust and speak to them.
15. Prioritize romance and intimacy
Married couples will attest to this but it becomes increasingly more difficult to focus on romance and intimacy when your life together is filled with responsibilities.
This is even more so the case when you have children together.
However, none of that should be an excuse for why you both aren’t making an effort to be romantic and to be intimate.
If you put those important elements of a relationship on the backburner, it’s going to cause pent-up frustration, a disconnect and disinterest in each other.
To avoid or fix this, make an effort to do something romantic or sweet for your partner on a regular basis.
When it comes to being intimate, start by carving out even a few hours from your week to just focus on each other.
16. Be accepting of each other’s flaws
I promise you that if you can build a relationship that is devoid of judgment, you will be incredibly happy and it will last.
There’s something truly special and comforting to have someone in your life who willingly stands by you and doesn’t take a shot at you for not being perfect.
Let’s face it, perfection is an unattainable ideal. It’s also exhausting to chase after it. But, that’s the beauty of love.
Being accepted for exactly who you are and still loved is a special experience and it’s the recipe for a healthy and long lasting relationship.
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17. Keep your promises
Disappointment and trust issues start to develop when you fail to keep your word.
If you make a promise to your partner, do everything in your power to keep it.
If you can’t, make sure that you have a justifiable reason and make up for it in some other way.
I’m honestly of the opinion that it’s better not to make promises you can’t keep. And be honest about it because your partner will at least respect you for that.
18. Focus on having fun
When a relationship becomes too serious and the focus is all about responsibilities, duties, expectations and issues, it destroys the excitement and desire to be with each other.
Love and attraction thrive in a fun and cheerful environment.
Life is already stressful enough, why add more stress and seriousness to it with a relationship that has no room for fun and lightheartedness.
Trust me, it’s okay to be a goofball from time to time. Laughter is the way to a person’s heart. It makes them feel good to be around you.
19. Don’t give up on the relationship during hard times
Every relationship will go through its own trial and tribulations. No matter how in love you are, there will be issues and hard times.
Life is full of tests and so are relationships.
The only way you’re going to create a long lasting relationship is if you choose to have one.
By this, I simply mean that you have to fight for your relationship. Don’t give up before trying to make things work. Be prepared to weather storms together.
By doing this, the two of you will develop a stronger bond that is difficult to break.
Related post: How to prove you love someone unconditionally
20. Have goals as a couple
If you’re not growing, you’re dying. That’s something that applies to most areas of life. You cannot allow stagnancy to dictate the pace of your relationship.
Nothing will improve nor will you develop a relationship that is truly fulfilling and strong.
You have to nurture a relationship and one of the best ways to do that is to set goals as a couple.
By having goals, the two of you will work as a unit to achieve them.
- You’ll learn how to prioritize what’s important to achieve those goals.
- You’ll learn how to communicate more effectively.
- You’ll develop the ability to make sacrifices for the greater good.
All of these important developments and growth as a couple comes from setting out to achieve goals together.
Sit down with your partner and draw up your idea of a dream life. Make a list of goals that the two of you want to achieve together and work towards those goals regularly.
Trust me when I tell you that not many things feel as wholesome as the development of a beautiful relationship with someone you truly love.
The payoff to all your hard work is happiness, love, acceptance, support, commitment and honesty.
But, it all starts with having the intention to build the relationship into something that can last a lifetime.
You’re not going to know exactly how to handle every situation. But, if you have a good head on your shoulders and the two of you work together to attack these issues, I’m certain that you can make it out the other side.
One last thing, there’s no expiration date for all of these behavioral tips.
You have to keep doing the things in this article forever. But, once you do, it will be so enjoyable and worthwhile.
With that being said, I hope you enjoyed this article on how to make a relationship last. Feel free to drop your thoughts or questions in the comment section below. I’d love to hear from you!
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