Have you been in tears ever since a guy rejected you? Has it made you feel like you’re unworthy of love or that you aren’t good enough? Believe it or not, most women feel this way after facing rejection. It can be dangerous if you latch onto these self-defeating thoughts and feelings, especially for your self-esteem. Which is why I want to share some of my most useful tips on how to handle rejection from a guy.
What you need to do is separate the rejection from your sense of self worth. You have never needed nor will you ever need anyone to validate your worth as a person. It’s yours and it’s given by you. Nobody can or should be able to take that away from you.
The only person’s opinion that matters is your own.
Fixating on why he doesn’t want you or his reasons for rejecting you is of little importance.
What matters is how you heal from this rejection and the lessons you can take away from it to empower you in the future.
If you can reframe rejection from a guy as a good thing that helps you refine your approach to relationships and pushes you one step closer to finding the right guy for you, rejection will lose it’s power over you.
In this article, I’m going to teach you how to handle rejection from a guy in a manner that serves you for the rest of your life.
All I ask from you is to keep an open mind and trust the process.
If you can do that, you’ll grow through this in the best possible way.
You need to read this article: Why do no guys like me?
Tips For Women On How To Handle Rejection
1. Handle Rejection With Grace And Dignity
If you invest time into studying great minds on psychology, self development and philosophy, most of them emphasize the importance of not being reactive to external circumstances in a manner that compromises your identity.
In fact, I was reading a book by Ed Mylett called The Power Of One More (highly recommended) and he shared a quote that greatly describes the importance of intention and your behavior.
“When our actions are based on good intentions, our soul has no regrets.” – Anthony Douglas Williams
How often have you found yourself cringing at the memory of yourself lashing out or behaving inappropriately after a rejection?
Imagine not having to feel that way. Imagine facing rejection in such a way that it actually increases or improves the perception a guy has of you.
All you have to do is be respectful and non-combative when handling rejection.
In other words, avoid lashing out, showing intense emotions, guilt-tripping or throwing yourself at a guy who rejects you.
He’ll respect you for it but more importantly, you’ll respect yourself for not being reactive but responding to rejection in a manner that adds layers to your dignity and self esteem.
Also, a guy won’t change his mind if you handle rejection poorly and destructively but he may certainly change his mind if you respond in a dignified manner.
Take it from a guy who has actually experienced this towards girls I’ve rejected in my past.
Those who were polite, respectful and dignified left such a great impression on me that I always viewed them with respect.
I have even reconsidered my decision further down the road.
You need to read this article: The kind of girl guys regret losing
2. Don’t Take Rejection Personally
Rejection is a part of life and it is impossible to be liked by everyone. More importantly, it’s unlikely that you will always be liked by someone whom you like.
This is a fact of life.
It doesn’t matter how good looking you are, how rich, smart and desirable you may be, it’s still possible that you could be rejected by a guy you like.
If it’s something that is bound to happen, you don’t need to torture yourself when it does happen.
Think of it as an event that pushes you closer towards what you want.
People may reject you for reasons that extend far beyond you.
- They could be in love with someone else.
- In a relationship.
- Hung up on an ex.
- Not interested in relationships right now.
- Not feeling a spark.
You could be great but not his type.
It doesn’t diminish the value of what you have to offer.
It just isn’t what he’s looking for.
It would be a waste of your time to take rejection so personally then.
If a relationship does not define you then rejection for a relationship should not be given more importance than it deserves.
3. Take Your Time To Respond
Let’s do a thought experiment for a quick moment.
If we were to zoom into dating (not even relationships) as the only relevant experience in life, we could say that rejection from someone we like is the worst thing that could happen to us.
If the worst has already occurred, is there really any need to react immediately?
Most of us would handle rejection better if we just mustered up the courage to remain indifferent in the moment and then reflect on a situation afterwards before making a decision.
I know that real life creates scenarios that negate the possibility of not responding in some way in real time.
But, if you could just delay your response by even a few minutes, you could use that time to get your body out of the state of shock and choose a response that doesn’t diminish you.
It’s highly possible that you may even choose to respond with nothing at all.
You wouldn’t be able to do that if you are instantly reactive to rejection.
Don’t make permanent decisions based on temporary emotions.
4. Don’t Fixate On His Reason
It would be unfair of me to tell you that there’s no value in learning the reason why someone rejected you in so far as it relates to learning something that may be of use to you in future romantic interactions.
But, when it comes to closure, reasons for rejection are unnecessary and a waste of time.
You can get enough closure from the fact that things will not proceed any further.
Knowing why you were rejected could be of some help in the way described above or it could be detrimental.
If you’re dealing with an insensitive or uncompassionate man, you don’t know what reason he may provide.
In fact, you can’t even rely on what he provides as a reason to be true.
If he’s narcissistic, he may say something that hurts you unnecessarily and creates a wound that could and should have been avoided.
If he’s sensitive, he most likely would want to spare your feelings and the reason he may provide won’t necessarily be accurate or completely truthful.
You don’t stand to gain much from the reason for being rejected.
If anything, it may tie you to the rejection indefinitely because you’re trying to unpack a reason that doesn’t really help you in any way.
Introspection may yield better lessons for you.
That has been the case for most people I’ve coached.
5. Avoid The Urge To Change His Mind
It is not your duty to convince someone to like you.
When you focus on changing a guy’s mind, your actions are soaked in self-indulgence.
You’re trying to force a result for yourself.
That’s not a loving thing to do.
- How do you expect to cultivate true love when you’re disregarding his feelings or lack there of?
- At the same time, do you not deserve someone who loves you of their own volition?
- Why would you sacrifice who you are for the sake of making a guy love you for someone you’re not?
Not only does it ruin the experience of courtship but it also can be construed as a sign of desperation and a need for validation.
This is not attractive to both men and women.
When you delve into those emotions, you take a massive risk of becoming neurotic if they do not create the kind of result that you want.
Desperation can be a useful tool under the right circumstances.
Unfortunately, romantic relationships are one of the areas in life that doesn’t benefit from this emotion.
Don’t try to convince him to change his mind by begging, pleading, seducing or manipulating him.
It will only undermine your value in his eyes and in your own eyes.
You’ll also get too invested in this situation and it will lead to deeper feelings of pain and suffering.
You need to read this article: What to do when you love someone you can’t have
6. Don’t Lash Out
As human beings, we are creatures of habit. What we know is that habits are repetitive actions created from a pattern of thoughts, feelings and decisions.
If you develop a liking for chocolate ice cream and eat a scoop during your lunch break at 1pm in the afternoon, it will become a habit.
In the future, when it’s 1pm or when you’re on a lunch break, your mind and body will send signals that remind you of ice cream.
You’ll visualize chocolate ice cream and feel the desire for it even if you develop an allergy to dairy.
The more you give into this habit and suffer for it, the harder it becomes to break free from it. You accustom yourself to suffering for the sake of your desire.
Similarly, if you lash out at a guy for rejecting you, this can create an unhealthy pattern or habit of reacting aggressively, rudely and unattractively whenever you are faced with rejection.
Even if you realize that lashing out at someone for rejecting you is a surefire way to burn bridges, create regret and tarnish your reputation, the habit will override your better judgment every time you are faced with rejection.
Apart from the loop it creates within you, lashing out at someone who rejects you creates no positive outcome for you.
If anything, it can affect you negatively and diminish your ability to handle obstacles with grace and dignity.
The last thing you want to do is give someone validation for rejecting you.
Lashing out does this.
The only message it sends to a guy is that he made the right decision to reject you.
You need to read this article: How to make a guy regret ghosting you
7. Walk Away Respectfully
It may be tempting to latch onto breadcrumbs in the hope that it will bake into a loaf of bread. But, in reality, we’re left with nothing but a handful of breadcrumbs that cost us way more than they’re worth.
We will only get from life what we demand.
In other words, if we allow ourselves to settle for people who do not see our worth and value, we’ll never be valued or appreciated for our worth.
Walking away affirms self belief, self respect and dignity.
Not just in yourself but in others.
Accepting friendship when you desire a relationship is nothing more than self punishment. You are creating a belief that you do not deserve to get what you want in life.
Walking away creates the belief that you are worthy of what you want and that you’re strong enough and courageous enough to walk towards what you deserve, even at the cost of losing someone you do value.
If you decide to walk away from a guy who rejects you, there is no need to diminish his character in any way nor is there a need to pretend like you didn’t care.
Walk away with love and for the sake of love.
You’d be surprised how this can lead you towards the right guy.
8. Leave The Door Open For Him
If a guy has some genuine attraction for you, even if he has rejected you, there’s always a chance that he may change his mind.
Does that mean I want you to sit around and wait for him to change his mind?
In fact, walking away is probably the first step towards making a guy realize your worth and value in his life.
But, you don’t have to completely shut the door on your way out.
If his reason for rejecting you lacked any maliciousness, there’s no harm in walking away while leaving the door open for him to change his mind.
As we’ve discussed above, circumstances change and his reason for rejecting you may no longer be a factor in the future.
In the event that it isn’t, he’d reach out because you didn’t shut the door closed in a harsh and dramatic manner when walking away.
Timing is always a factor in relationships.
Keep that in mind when learning how to deal with rejection from a guy.
You need to read this article: Can a man come back to you?
9. Process Your Emotions
Rejection is an uncomfortable experience. It stirs up emotions of insecurity, sadness, confusion and fear.
In my teens, I’d run from these emotions. In my early twenties, I’d express these emotions in a self destructive manner.
But, when I started reading a book called Letting Go by David. R. Hawkins, I realized that rejection was difficult and those emotions were so destructive to me because I allowed them to be.
I was so intent on resisting them that I magnified the effects of them in my mind’s eye.
What you focus on or feed, grows.
The more I tried to avoid the pain of rejection, the worse I felt about it.
This book taught me how to process my emotions by simply surrendering to them without judgment.
It was uncomfortable and scary but the more I sat with these emotions and experienced them, the less terrifying they became.
After some time, I developed a better understanding of these emotions.
More importantly, I realized that these emotions are not me nor would they kill or crush me.
They simply belonged to me. I controlled them. I was more important than them. I could feel them without losing to them.
Everything changed once I internalized these thoughts and turned them into beliefs through repetition and intention.
Here’s what you can do to process rejection and free yourself from it.
- Feel it to heal it.
- Don’t weaponize it against yourself.
- Get your body back into a calm state.
- Talk to people who care about you.
Rinse and repeat these steps and I promise you, handling rejection from a guy will be like pinching yourself.
It hurts a lot when being pinched but the pain diminishes easily and quickly without leaving behind a scar or irreparable damage.
You need to read this article: Can you force yourself to stop loving someone?
10. Give Your Time To People Who Are Enthusiastic About You
Relationships are incredibly fun and easy when you place enthusiasm and interest as a prerequisite for your attention and companionship.
The spark matures into deep emotions naturally when you are spending time with someone who actually wants to be with you.
A guy who is enthusiastic about you will text often, take you out on dates, be romantic and flirtatious, seek out your opinion, validate your feelings and show a genuine desire to commit.
The more you associate yourself with guys who treat you with enthusiasm, the less tolerant you will be to guys who are toxic or unworthy of your attention.
Then, rejection is no longer as detrimental or scary to you because the relationship you’ve developed with rejection has changed.
No longer is a torturous result.
It simply keeps you away from that which you do not actually need in your life.
11. Do Things That Remind You Of Your Greatness And Value
Just because you’ve experienced a rejection doesn’t mean you’re a loser. If anything, you’re a winner in life because you are taking risks and continuing to grow as a person.
Believe me, there are people in the world who are feeling deeply depressed right now because they want more for themselves but they’re too afraid to face the possibility of rejection.
They’ve latched onto what doesn’t work or the times they’ve failed and crippled themselves.
Growth is rarely ever linear.
You’ll experience ups and downs along the way.
If Thomas Edison accepted failure as the determining factor of whether he should keep persevering or not, we may not have had the light bulb today.
In the pursuit of love, patiently persevere and you will eventually get what you desire.
The fact that you grasp onto the intention to get beyond rejection and keep trying to find love will be a reminder of how resilient and strong you are.
Those are amazing attributes to possess!
Keep in mind, what you’re looking for is something special and that’s not going to come easy. If it did, would it even be special? So, you must patiently persevere because the result is worthy of the effort.
At the same time, I would be remiss not to mention that rest and recovery are key processes for growth.
You’ve put in the work and the result was not as you expected.
Should you just stop?
No, rest and recover because you have more to give to the world and more to achieve. Then, take action!
I encourage you to channel this energy created from rejection to achieve a goal, to improve your dressing, to hangout with better quality people, to work more on your career and to frequent the gym more often.
Remind yourself of what you are capable of accomplishing and who you are capable of being.
This will shift you out of the victim mindset and into a healthier and more attractive one.
When failure or rejection are nothing more than stones in your path, you can overcome them and reach your destination with certainty.
12. Meet New People
Once you’ve walked away from a guy who rejected you and dealt with the feelings associated with rejection, it may be time to get back into the game.
It would be easy to fixate on the rejection and assume that it’s always going to be the case for your future.
But, it’s just as possible for you to meet someone who adores you and wants to be with you.
Both scenarios can be true.
Why not embrace the possibility that serves you in a positive, wholesome and fulfilling manner instead of the possibility that diminishes you and guarantees rejection?
Start talking to guys who show a good interest in you and who meet a certain criteria for your attention.
It will rekindle your desire for companionship and reaffirm your confidence to navigate your love life.
Trust me, you won’t be thinking about the guy who rejected you when you’re spending time with the guy you fall in love with next.
You’ll be too busy enjoying your new relationship to be focused on what didn’t work out.
You need to read this article: Will I ever find love?
If you were to take just one thing away from this article on how to handle rejection from a guy, let it be this – you’re going to be okay and you’re going to get the guy you deserve.
It’s only a matter of time.
What you don’t want to do is allow this rejection to consume you to the point where you miss out on the next love of your life.
This is why it’s important to leave the past alone, learn your lessons and move on to the next chapter of your life.
You’re going to get everything you deserve in due time.
For now, let’s just focus on getting you back into a secure, confident and loving state by moving beyond this rejection.
Use the tips in this article on a daily basis and meditate on the kind of abundant love that you want in your life.
Just watch how this habit attracts new love into your life!
With that being said, I hope you found this article on how to handle rejection from a guy to be insightful and helpful. If you need more guidance and help, please feel free to check out my services page for more information on my one-on-one email coaching package.