No matter how good looking, smart or rich a guy is, he will experience rejection at some point or another. The problem with rejection is that it stings the ego badly. It’s worse if you don’t know how to handle rejection from a girl.
Most guys react poorly to it and even go so far as to be embarrassing. So before you continue on your quest to find the perfect girl, spend some time studying this article on how to handle rejection from a girl.
Be completely indifferent to rejection. Maintain your composure, practice emotional control and don’t let her see it diminish you in any way.
Not only does this prevent you from looking weak but it softens the blow of getting rejected.
This was one of the things I learnt very early into my stint of casual dating.
You can be the best looking guy in the world but someone is going to reject you at some point for any number of reasons, such as:
- They don’t find you attractive.
- You’re not their type.
- She doesn’t feel the spark.
- She’s unavailable or taken.
Trust me, it’s going to happen. Also, the more attractive a girl, the more attention she gets.
I would think that most girls are hounded by guys in this day and age, especially on dating apps and social networking sites.
So it’s safe to say that being hit on is not an eventful part of a woman’s life.
Abundance inspires standards. In other words, when a woman is inundated with men hitting on her, she becomes more selective of who she is willing to engage with.
All of these factors heavily influence the chances of you facing rejection from a girl.
So it’s not that there’s something particularly wrong with you, it’s that there’s too many guys in the pipeline.
With that being said, let’s detail exactly how to handle rejection from a girl.
1. Be indifferent
Being rejected is often preceded by offering something to someone. In this case, you’re offering yourself as a romantic interest.
Essentially, the girl is in a place of power. Hence, she can reject or accept your proposition.
So it’s natural to expect that you could feel bummed out or diminished after being rejected.
You really can’t do anything about it and that drives some guys crazy. They feel powerless in the situation.
Instead of being indifferent, their natural inclination is to get back some of that power back and minimize the blow to their ego by either lashing out, being rude or acting silly.
Rather than achieve the desired goal of maintaining your self-dignity, these reactions often diminish you further.
The best reaction is no reaction at all.
Whether she rejects or accepts you, being indifferent is a power move! It means that your life goes on as normal and you’re not going to be hindered by her rejection.
Not only is this a power move but it’s actually quite attractive. It makes you look a lot more different than the average guy who acts incorrectly.
2. Maintain your composure
In other words, practice emotional control. Don’t show any visible signs of your ego getting bruised or your emotions being hurt.
Keep a smile on your face if you were wearing one and speak as if you are not upset or angry at her rejection.
It’s okay to vent your feelings out but not in front of her.
Wait until you are alone or with your friends before letting go of your game face.
3. Don’t chase after her
The most counterproductive move you can make is to chase a girl after she has flat out rejected you.
No means no. I agree with that sentiment. Rather than chase after her now, it’s okay to try again after some time has passed. Otherwise, you’re going to become that creepy guy who won’t leave her alone!
People are known to change their minds so there’s nothing wrong with trying again in the future.
This is especially true when you can tell that the girl is attracted and interested in you but is playing hard to get.
Chasing after her immediately after an initial rejection is dangerous. There’s no saying how you may react or what you may say or do if she doesn’t respond in the way that you want.
It’s far more productive to wait some time, get over being rejected and then trying again.
4. Remain polite
I like to leave the door open when hitting on women because things can change in the future.
That’s not possible when you lash out, act rude or arrogant.
If anything, those reactions validate her rejection. She’ll walk away from the interaction knowing that she made the right decision because you’re a jerk.
A confident gentleman will remain polite and humble even in failure.
She’ll respect you more for being polite than for acting like a jerk. More importantly, you’ll feel proud of yourself for not acting like a fool.
5. On to the next girl
Rejection stings but is completely outdone and overshadowed by success and acceptance.
After my previous long term relationship ended, I entered the dating scene again with the intention of casually dating and meeting as many new people as I possibly could.
I faced a lot of rejection at first but after some time, it stopped feeling as bad as it first did.
If anything, the times I wasn’t rejected made up for every single rejection I faced.
Whenever I was rejected by someone, I’d move onto the next. Keep doing this for long enough and you’ll find yourself taking rejection like a champ.
That’s the secret to it.
You must face what you fear.
When you do and it doesn’t kill you, it no longer has the same power and control it had on you.
Rejection becomes just another uncontrollable part of life and your focus starts to shift towards those people who accept your proposition.
6. Don’t take it personally
Not all rejection is motivated by a lack of attraction or disinterest. Sometimes it has nothing to do with you at all.
She may be in a relationship, is hung up on someone, going through a breakup or divorce or simply not looking to date anyone right now.
You can’t take that stuff personally because it has nothing to do with you.
And rejection isn’t a reflection of who you are or what you lack as a person.
Chances are, this girl knows nothing about you. You have no reason to take it personally other than the fact that you approached her.
I try to look at it from the perspective of them doing me a favor. Rather than wasting my time, they’re helping me move onto the girls who are attracted to me and would love to date.
7. Wish her well
Not all women get a kick out of rejecting a guy. It can be quite an uncomfortable experience for them just as much as it is for you.
Rather than turn the situation into a bad memory, you can leave the interaction on a good an positive note.
Wish her a good day, smile and continue on your way.
That sort of reaction leaves her feeling flattered by it.
Instead of becoming another story of a bad or awkward rejection she tries to forget, you become the cool guy who was brave enough to take a shot and handled rejection like a confident gentleman.
In that kind of scenario, you’re not really losing anything.
Your game evolves, you develop a thicker skin and you’re more experienced at the subtle art of flirting.
There’s much to be gained from both rejection and acceptance.
Just fine-tune your mindset to approach rejection in a healthy way. Take a lesson from it and you’ll thrive in the future. That’s how to handle rejection from a girl in the best possible way.
8. Don’t be too critical
Rejection has the tendency of making us reflect on ourselves, particularly on what could be wrong with us to have caused that result.
But, it’s really not that clear cut. Like I said before, most of the time rejection isn’t personal at all.
It’s not a reflection of who you are as a person. Someone could be going through their own issues and it was just not the right time.
You shouldn’t be too critical of yourself then because it makes no sense at this point.
Everyone experiences rejection.
Look at it from a more analytical perspective. Maybe you can refine your game to select girls who seem more approachable in the future.
I tend to remind myself that the right kind of girl will see me for the awesome guy that I am.
So I don’t have to prove anything to anyone, especially girls who are uninterested in me.
Life is too short to waste on people who reject you.
If anything, you should give yourself a pat on the back for having the courage to approach a girl. A lot of guys are too afraid of even trying. And that is something you should be proud of.
Everything will work out
As long as you maintain a positive attitude and work towards making yourself feel happy, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t believe that everything will work out.
This rejection you experienced now may suck in the moment but in the future, you’re probably going to look back and thank God that it happened.
That seems to be the way life works and I love it.
Continue focusing on becoming a genuine guy who is living his best life.
If you can find happiness and contentment in being single, that’s when you will be in the perfect position to meet someone phenomenal who deserves your attention and love.
I hope by this point you have some valuable insight on how to handle rejection from a girl.
Please share your thoughts in the comment section below. I’m looking forward to them.