If your partner has recently grown distant or dumped you and doesn’t seem receptive to your advances, you’re probably considering how to give him space to miss you and come back.
Well, the good news is that it’s actually not all that complicated.
To make someone miss you, it requires you to assert your value in their life by removing your presence or effort, partially or completely.
Depending on the situation, you can gage the extremity of the distance required to make him miss you and come back.
A partner or potential lover who seems to be losing interest because you overpursued or smothered him with attention may only require you to distance yourself gradually and partially.
Whereas being dumped necessitates that you eliminate any and all contact with your ex to make him experience the ramifications of his decision.
In this article, I’m going to share with you an exact breakdown of how to give him space to miss you and come back as well as a breakdown of the reasons for why he may have lost interest.
Let’s get into it, shall we?
1. Don’t text him all day
Very rarely do text messages have much of a positive effect on attraction during situations such as this. Think about it – what could you possibly say over text that will make him reconsider his stance or trigger feelings of desire within him?
Text messages have the undeniable potential of ruining relationships when context and emotions cannot be expressed appropriately.
I’ve seen silly little quirks within a style of texting that has ruined relationships. It sounds so petty and yet, in reality, it happens.
There is one important principle to bear in mind during this entire process – to miss you, he must experience space from you.
In other words, giving him space is actually the solution to the problem or outcome you desire.
2. Don’t call him for longer than 15 minutes at a time
Let’s assume that he isn’t asking for the complete elimination of communication but he just wants some space because you’ve been too clingy, needy or desperate.
Irrespective of how in love you are, there will always be a boiling point for the time you can spend with each other.
When you hit that point, it’s almost inevitable to experience annoyance, exhaustion and frustration.
This is further influenced by personality umbrellas like being an introvert. Someone who values their time away from the world to reset will battle to find long term happiness if they are smothered.
If you’re on the phone with him, cut it short. Don’t allow calls to drag on for hours on end, especially on a daily basis.
I’m a full on extrovert and I love being around people.
But, I was in this relationship a few years ago and I made the mistake of sitting on the phone with this girl for hours on end. At first, I enjoyed it because we were so taken aback with each other.
But the more frequently this happened, the more irritable and drained I felt. I actually started to enjoy any time away from her and that rattled me.
I really enjoyed her company and yet too much of a good thing soured the experience.
I didn’t even make an effort to go on many dates with her because I was so physically drained by sitting on the phone for so many hours per night.
If you sense that he needs space or isn’t as enthusiastic to see or talk to you, dial back the amount of time you spend on the phone with him.
Give him more of a reason to seek out your attention rather than dropping it in his lap all the time.
3. End dates before they become boring or tiring
Ever noticed how a TV show or book that is widely addictive and exciting tends to end each chapter or episode on a high. Some go so far as to leave you with a cliff hanger just when things start to pick up and get exciting.
Sometimes this may even frustrate you but when it comes time to tune in again, you’re willing to drop whatever you’re doing, even something important like a goal or work, to tune in!
The same ‘technique’ can be used in your romantic life to keep a guy hungry for more of your attention.
When you feel like the date is at its peak, call it a night. By parting ways during good feelings, it only encourages him to spend time with you again as soon as humanly possible.
During the early phase of courtship, I genuinely believe this to be an effective technique to keep a guy hooker or to turn around attraction if you notice a decline of interest.
Related post: How to make want you: 20 tips that work
4. Do no contact for a short period of time
Whenever someone gets dumped or rejected, I always advise them to initiate no contact with their ex.
Even if your partner asks for a break, just do no contact without throwing a fit or revealing how devastated or desperate you feel.
No contact is a difficult but highly effective technique for making your ex or partner miss you. It also prevents you from chasing, begging, fighting or pleading with him to take you back or give you attention.
No contact is a form of inaction towards your ex which is what this situation calls for.
And rather than dwelling on him, you can spend that time away from him to improve yourself and create more compelling reasons for him to want you back.
If you’d like to read more about the no contact rule, please check out this elaborate guide I’ve worked on for quite some time.
5. Let him have the space he wants
Some guys suffer from the grass is greener syndrome. And others are often impulsively driven.
In both these scenarios, there is an inaccurate picture of what he could have by not having you around.
By giving him exactly what he wants, chances are such that he will be tossed into a life and world that is a far stretch from what he imagined.
Dating is not as simple or easy in this correct climate. If it were, we wouldn’t have such a growing community of incels or men going their own way.
When reality hits him and you’re not there to provide a consistent dose of love, attention, support and excitement to his life, he’ll very likely come running back to you.
Related post: What to text your ex after no contact
6. Do not chase him at all
Not all situations call for a complete elimination of contact.
Perhaps in your situation, you’re noticing that he is gradually losing interest in you. He might be taking much longer to reply to your texts, he doesn’t call as often or he hasn’t asked you out on a date for some time.
He may not be ghosting you but his replies indicate that a lack of desire. Your first reaction may be to chase him and restore the relationship to what it was.
But rather than attract him, it’s going to repel him. When someone starts to question your value, the logical thing to do is walk away.
Why? Because scarcity breeds desire and value.
Not being able to have you at will is going to be a surprising turn of events for him. At the back of his mind, he probably thought that you were so hooked that he could reel you in at a moment’s notice.
But the fact that you bounced and didn’t chase him after he started displaying signs of low interest is going to confuse him. It goes against what he thought and felt about you.
This will make him question whether you were really into him or if you have someone else in your life.
Either way, it will have a positive effect on attraction, especially if you act as if nothing major happened by him being distant.
I give you my word, through inaction you can master the art of how to give him space to miss you.
Related post: Will he miss me if I leave him alone?
7. Be upbeat and positive when he reaches out
Building on what I said above, when he comes back to you, he’s half expecting you to be distraught, upset and really excited or desperate for him after he lost interest or dumped you.
If you fall into this trap, rather than win him back it will confirm that you are now into him than he is with you.
This is why it’s far more effective to maintain a happy, upbeat and positive approach when he returns.
Not only will this remind him of how awesome it feels to be with you but it trashes the narrative that you are desperate for his approval and validation.
What I can confirm is that romantic feelings thrive amidst positive and happy feelings.
We don’t miss the bad or lame characteristics of a person, right?
Never do you think about someone you miss and say to yourself, “ah how I miss when he would prioritize everyone else over me.“
It’s the exact opposite. We miss the best features and characteristics of a person. And when we encounter those things again, it simply magnifies how much we miss and desire them.
On that premise, it would be far more beneficial if you were to behave in the best way possible in contrast to acting desperate, temperamental or emotional.
8. Don’t punish him for wanting space
At the end of the day, maturity lends a hand in crafting a life that is free of unnecessary drama.
I completely sympathize and understand how frustrating it is for you to be in this predicament. I’d feel exactly the same way. In fact, I have.
But allowing yourself to stoop low enough to punish him or play the same game will only blow up in your face.
Two wrongs don’t make a right.
You can either learn from this situation or lose from it. The choice is dependent on how you deal with him when he comes back.
I would go so far as to advise you against reconciling with him if it means preventing you from doing something you regret.
If taking him back makes you feel as if you betrayed yourself and diminished your self-worth, then it might actually be better for you to move on than get back with him.
What you don’t want to do is adopt or embrace the kind of behavior that will sabotage your ability to have wholesome and happy relationships for the rest of your life.
Trust me when I tell you that I understand how difficult it is to keep a level head and to do nothing when your heart and brain is screaming at you to do something to get him back.
I deal with coaching clients on a regular basis who go through this.
But, if you manage to use inaction and indifference as a tool for dealing with a guy who loses interest or dumps you, I promise the results are far more promising and amazing than any amount of chasing you may do.
Think of it this way, you stand more to lose from chasing him and getting rejected again than by doing nothing and giving him the space to choose you over someone else or a life without you.
Imagine how validated you are going to feel knowing that he came back to you simply on the merits of your good character and that his life is far better with you in it.
Stay strong and remember that you are worth the love and attention of a good man. Don’t ever question your worth based on the presence of someone.
If he is too blind to see your worth then that’s his loss. Never forget that. It’s not worth selling yourself short for the validation of anyone.
With that being said, I hope you enjoyed reading this article on how to give him space to miss you. Please share your thoughts or questions in the comment section below.