Have you noticed how difficult it is to reign yourself in when your feelings are engaged for someone? Logic gets thrown out the window and you’re left struggling to figure out how to give her space.
But, this can be detrimental because too much of anything leads to burn out and exhaustion. In other words, spending too much time with her will turn her off from you. So, in today’s article, I’ll be sharing my experience on how to give her space.
To give her space, you simply have to distance yourself from her after spending some time with her or when she appears to be unenthusiastic to be around you. But, it’s not good enough to just wait around. The time you spend away from her should be channeled towards other areas of your life like fitness, health, business, family and spirituality.
By doing this, you’ll notice that your overall sense of well being, confidence and energy will improve on a day to day basis.
When you are feeling good about yourself as an individual, it will reflect in your interactions and behavior around people and the person you are trying to impress.
She will notice this positive energy from you which will influence her level of desire and attraction for you.
This is why it is so imperative that you invest just as much time in yourself as you would in her.
You cannot have a good relationship when you are lacking as an individual. For this reason, I want you to approach this article from the perspective of improving yourself rather than just achieving the goal of making her want you.
In saying that, giving her space becomes secondary to living a complete and wholesome life that does not include codependency.
If you make someone your everything, you risk having absolutely nothing if they leave.
More importantly, you have nothing to give to that person because they already have what you want.
I want you to examine your life and identify how much time you are directing towards your relationship, fitness, health, business, family and spirituality.
Chances are such that if you have been investing all your attention into her, one or more areas of your life are lacking.
If so, redirect some of that time you spend on one thing towards those areas of your life that are lacking.
This will provide you with a solid reason for giving her space outside of the relationship.
You won’t find yourself suffering spending time away from her because you’ll be directing all of your energy and focus on improving yourself.
With more to give as a person, you create more reasons for her to enjoy being in your presence.
Here’s what you don’t want to do – Don’t make her feel guilty or bad for needing a little space for herself.
This will create feelings of resentment that eventually lead to larger relationship issues.
With that being said, let’s talk about some of the things you can learn on how to give her space.
1. Don’t text her all day long
Far too many men ruin potential relationships by texting women too much. You don’t realize it at first but things are so easily misconstrued over text.
First of all, you can’t truly project an accurate image of yourself over text.
In trying to do so, you are doing a disservice to yourself and her because she’s not getting to experience how great you can be in reality.
Furthermore, with the ease of accessibility to texting, most people can sit on their phones all day and text.
The problem with this is simple, you never give someone the time to miss you.
And since men have the habit of projecting their feelings of attraction without restraint on text, it drastically inhibits anticipation and excitement between the two of you.
Part of what makes a new romance so exciting is the uncertainty of it all.
Texting all the time leaves little to no room for missing you or uncertainty.
Monitor your texting habits and identify whether you’re frequently double texting or triple texting her.
If you are, then it’s time to cut that out and give her space until she replies to you.
Related post: Should I text her? (Pros & Cons)
2. Don’t sit on the phone with her for hours
I will say this, phone calls are much better than texting because it’s more engaging and real.
It can be used as the perfect tool for maintaining and cultivating attraction as well as good feelings.
I know of many women who enjoy random short phone calls from men they are currently in a courtship with.
However, too much calling can also have an adverse effect.
You end up eliminating much reason to meet because a call creates just enough dopamine to scratch the itch of desire.
But, you can’t escalate the courtship into a relationship over the phone.
And if you spend too much time on a call, she’s not going to text you or reach out because she has already spoken to you so much.
That’s why, you should keep calls short or end them while on a high note to build excitement and anticipation.
Have you noticed that there’s a peak of good feelings during a social interaction and once you hit that peak, those good feelings start to drop and the interaction starts to dip.
Most guys stay long after the peak and this actually hurts their chances with women.
Because when the call ends, she’s left feeling underwhelmed and exhausted rather than excited and happy.
This is why I encourage men to end calls on a high note and then wait for her to reach out again.
That little space between the end of a call and the time she reaches out is so beneficial because it will give her time to think about you and miss those good emotions that come from talking to you.
Related post: She says she needs time, how long should I wait?
3. Stop being the only one to initiate contact
If the whole point of giving her space is to make her miss you and desire talking or being with you, what do you look for to know that it worked?
Well, she would either initiate contact by texting or calling you.
Alternatively, she may come to visit you or if you live together, she would be approaching you to spend time doing something or being affectionate.
That’s how you know that giving her space is working.
But, you can’t and won’t know that it’s working if you are the one who constantly does these things after giving her space for a short time.
You’re not waiting long enough for those feelings of desire to build within her.
So, I would simply advise you to just wait a little longer until she initiates contact this time.
When she does, respond and make arrangements to see her and have fun.
Related post: How to make her miss you when she wants space
4. Stop treating her like your therapist
Having a partner who will be supportive and helpful during difficult times in life is a beautiful thing.
I would argue that a relationship is incomplete without the test of turmoil, not so much as a couple but as individuals who then rely on each other during those challenges.
But, there’s a fine line between support and dependency.
I recall a time when I was really sick and I would complain or discuss how I felt and what was happening to me daily with my girlfriend.
It would go on and on.
I’d voice every single complaint and fear to her and it started to monopolize our relationship.
This was unhealthy because there was no room for any fun.
Granted, it’s hard to have fun when you’re going through something like a loss or an illness but that doesn’t mean you have to allow that to consume your relationship.
It’s a lot to deal with and you may be lucky to have a partner who happily wants to support you and does.
But, it can take a toll on her.
Even if it’s just for an hour a day, give her some breathing room to discuss other topics and things that are on her mind.
That small break from your problems can make a big difference in how she feels and the health of your relationship.
Up until this point, I’ve kept this limited and specific to big problems like loss and illness.
There are people out there who are fixated on negativity. They’re stuck in a loop of negative self talk and this results in a constant stream of complaints over mundane issues.
If this is you and much of your conversations with a girl is about how miserable or annoyed you are, then this is a surefire way to ruin attraction long term.
Who enjoys being around someone who is a mood killer? I certainly don’t!
Romance and love thrive on positive energy.
Laughter, compliments, gratitude, optimism and kindness feed and nurture good feelings between two people.
Allow her to enjoy those things with you instead of using her as a sounding board for mundane and insignificant complaints and issues.
This is how you can give her some space without physically being away from her.
I just want to emphasize that this does not mean you have to be this way all the time.
On the contrary, that would be too much.
The idea is to strike some balance in your life and relationship by being authentic and choosing what to focus on and share with people on a daily basis.
Related post: How to keep a woman interested (18 brilliant tips)
5. Get a hobby
It’s not exactly easy to give someone space when you live with them.
This is something married couples have to navigate because they eventually realize the importance of some space within their marriage.
When looking at some of the married couples who are succeeding, I tend to observe a commonality between them.
Someone or both of them have a hobby that’s just for them.
They may share other hobbies together but they have one thing that’s just for themselves.
It may be visiting the gym for an hour per day or finding a different room in the house to paint or write.
You’d do it long enough for her to miss you but also for you to feel quite happy and relaxed when you see her again after partaking in your hobby.
Related post: Everything I know on how to be happy again
There’s not many things that feel as good as when a woman you really like or love comes to you for attention and affection because she misses you.
That’s your reward for making the effort to give her some space for herself to reset and relax.
If you avoid taking it personally, it becomes incredibly easy to give her space without getting hurt or suffering in the process.
With that being said, I hope you found this article on how to give her space to be practical, helpful and insightful. If you have any thoughts or questions on this topic, please head over to the comment section below and let me know.