You’ve been through a devastating breakup caused by the selfish, toxic or inconsiderate actions of your ex. And now you’re stuck with this feeling of resentment that leads you to one question, how to get revenge on your ex who used you?
First and foremost, success is the best revenge. In this case, moving on with your life and focusing on becoming a better person is the ultimate form of revenge.
Not only does it make you more desirable but it also strips away any power your ex had over you.
The worst thing anyone can do is allow their life to be ruled by someone who is no longer in it by choice.
In other words, letting your ex occupy mental real estate to the point of him or her affecting your decisions in life is the worst thing you could possibly do.
Ask yourself something – how does this serve me?
In what way does holding onto resentment or a grudge serve your life in a positive way?
- Does it make you happy?
- Does it help you attract better women?
- Does it motivate you to find peace?
What it does is far more toxic and sinister.
It keeps you looking back at the past. Look back for too long and you’ll end up stuck there mentally and emotionally.
While you’re stewing over how to get revenge on your ex, he or she is probably with someone else and living their best life.
They probably don’t care as much about you as you care about them. If they care at all, that is!
So who turns out to be the biggest loser? It’s definitely not your ex, especially if you maintain your desire to get revenge.
Be that as it may, those feelings you are experiencing will probably not disappear overnight.
So, the only way to work through those feelings is to accept them, understand where they stem from and what you need to do to find peace.
Your objective should be to move on by accepting the past for what it is. That’s the best answer you’ll find on how to get revenge on your ex who used you.
Every romantic failure should be nothing more than a lesson to improve yourself as a lover and human being.
That’s how you gain something of value from a difficult and devastating situation.
Be that as it may, I’d like to talk about some of the ways people get revenge on their exes and why you should abandon these ideas altogether because they turn you into an ugly person who is fueled by bad intentions and regret.
Defaming your ex on social media
There’s nothing honorable or decent about airing your dirty laundry on social media. Sure, it may hurt your ex’s reputation but it also paints you in a bad light.
Potential partners will stay away from you because they’ll fear that you are the type of person who would defame them if things didn’t work out.
Worst of all, most people don’t actually sympathize with you. They take pleasure and joy in your drama. It’s entertaining to them.
You also risk having your secrets revealed by an ex who wants to get back at you.
This has the potential of turning into a back and forth defamatory battle that ends with both of you embarrassing yourself for everyone to see.
Sabotaging their relationships
Trying to poison your ex’s new relationship by spreading lies or revealing secrets may be a great way to get revenge but it’s something that you’ll eventually regret.
Right now, you’re consumed by all these negative emotions because of something your ex has done.
How are you going to live with yourself when it’s you who has done something deplorable?
You’re no longer just dealing with your ex, there’s other people involved.
His or her new partner may be an innocent party who gets caught in the crossfire of your revenge.
Hooking up with someone they hate or know personally
While we’re on the topic of collateral damage, hooking up with someone for the sake of getting back at your ex is terrible.
There’s too many things that could go wrong.
Chief amongst them is hurting that innocent third party who may genuinely like and care about you.
It’s hard to justify a bad deed by citing your anger or resentment towards an ex.
It doesn’t give you an excuse to play with someone’s life and feelings.
Additionally, you shouldn’t invite more drama into your life by hooking up with someone when you aren’t over your ex.
Related posts: Rebound relationships – what is it and what you need to know
Reconciling only to dump them and break their heart
I’ve seen many people do this and I’d be lying if I said that this didn’t cross my mind once. But, this was way back in the past when I was a teen.
Petty behavior like this is just a sign of immaturity.
Someone who values their time and dignity would not waste precious time, energy and effort on getting back with an ex only to dump them for revenge.
Sure, it’s going to hurt your ex but you’ll hurt yourself in the process too.
You could have been long over your ex by now or dating someone new and better but instead, you chose to execute a revengeful plan that accomplished nothing but pain.
Such a waste of time.
Don’t you agree?
Be that as it may, there is a way to get ‘revenge’ without stooping to their level.
1. Never contact them again
If there’s one thing we can be sure about, the greatest negotiating tool is the ability to walk away and mean it.
Most people assume that if they break up with you or if you were ridiculously in love with them at some point, you’ll contact them again.
A selfish ex with a narcissistic disorder would almost expect you to contact them.
They assume that their lack of presence in your life will be too difficult to bear.
Imagine the surprise they get when you completely eliminate any and all contact with them altogether. It’s going to hurt their ego, especially if you were the one who ended the relationship.
Some people do not deserve to have any role in your life.
As such, I recommend removing your ex from all social networking platforms and completely cutting them off.
Related post: The no contact rule – everything you need to know
2. Don’t accept them back into your life
At some point or another, your ex will try to weasel their way back into your life.
It is your responsibility to shut down any attempt they make.
Forget about what they’re saying or the promises they make which you very well know they won’t keep.
Don’t allow yourself to be sweet talked back into a submissive role.
Your ex will take advantage of the first sign of weakness and pull on your heart strings.
Once they’re back, you can bet that they will eventually start soliciting stuff from you or they’ll use you as they did before.
Reject them as directly as you can.
Let them know that you understand the kind of person he or she is and you respect yourself way too much to lower your standards ever again.
Walk away and never look back.
Let your ex live with the loss of you.
Related post: Should you take an ex back?
3. Become wildly successful
In a lot of relationships where one party was used, it often ends when your ex feels like they have nothing more to gain from you.
So, they toss you away. It hurts, right?
They make you feel as if you’re not worthy of their time or effort even though you were the one who did everything to keep the relationship going.
Your ex will now be on the prowl for their next victim who is richer or more successful than you in some way or another.
By no means am I advocating the idea of competing with other people, especially people your ex is pursuing. Instead, I’m encouraging you to acknowledge your true potential and worth.
Take all that time, effort and attention you used to invest in your ex and channel it towards yourself.
Your life will drastically improve and so will the way you feel about yourself.
Not only did you strip your ex of any power he or she held over you but now, you were able to harness that power into benefiting yourself.
4. Become the hottest version of yourself
On some level, all of us are superficial and seeing an ex become better looking is hard to ignore, even for those who dumped you.
Becoming the hottest version of yourself will only guarantee that you attract better quality partners as well as make your ex regret leaving you.
Get into better shape, dress in properly fitted clothing, style your hair and so forth.
These small changes add up until you look like the best version of yourself in a long time.
Related post: How to become the hottest version of yourself
5. Move on with your life and find someone better
There’s no better way to get revenge on an ex than by moving on with your life completely.
This requires you to work through your feelings, let them go, rediscover your best self and find someone who is far better than your ex.
By doing so, you strip any and all power your ex or their selfish actions held over you.
Now, you’re free of them and enjoying a beautiful relationship with someone worthy of your attention and affection.
When your ex sees you happy and fulfilled without them, it’s going to sting and hurt.
Couple this with the fact that you look better and cut them out from your life, there’s no doubt in my mind that this will truly affect them.
I cannot begin to emphasize how important it is for you to move on with your life and not let your ex occupy space in your mind. They don’t deserve anything more from you. They’ve taken enough already.
The best revenge is success.
I started this article with that quote and I want to end it on that note.
Once you move on with your life and find someone amazing who treats you like gold, your ex won’t even cross your mind.
I hope you found this article on how to get revenge on your ex who used you to be enlightening and insightful. Please leave your thoughts or questions in the comment section below.
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