When people talk about how to get over your ex girlfriend fast, the age old tropes come to mind like sleeping around, pretending like it never happened or rebounding. Truth is, none of these things really work.
If anything, if you don’t know how to get over your ex girlfriend in the right way, chances are, you’ll do everything that makes you suffer for a long time.
After a breakup, most people fall into a fight or flight reaction. Their brain conjures up a bunch of ideas on how to stop feeling the pain associated with the loss of the relationship.
But when you make emotionally charged decisions, they lack critical objectivity.
In other words, you may partake in actions that are counterproductive to your overall happiness despite believing they will help you move on after a breakup.
Before we talk about the 10 ways on how to get over your ex girlfriend fast, we need to establish a time frame that is regarded as fast.
Are we talking about days, weeks, months or years?
To be honest, relative to how long the relationship lasted, the time it takes you to move on after a break up will be similar.
If you were in a relationship that lasted all of 3 months, chances are, it could take about the same amount of time to get over your ex girlfriend.
Because in the grand scheme of things, 3 months is not a relatively long time. It’s only a quarter of the year. In that time, it’s unlikely that your entire routine, habits, goals and life was transformed by the relationship.
Whereas someone who has been in a 3 year long relationship may need about a year or more to get over their ex.
Then you have to take into consideration just how strongly you felt about the individual and the reasons for why the relationship didn’t work out.
If it was a mutually decided split based on a difference of lifestyles or feelings, then it’s easier to move on after a lost love.
But, if the relationship ended because of something bad occurring like infidelity, death or betrayal, then it’s more complicated.
Be that as it may, you can cut down the amount of time it takes to move on from someone in either scenario if you stick to the system detailed below.
None of what you’re about to read is easy to do but they’re simple to enact. Stick with the process and you’ll get the result you’re looking for.
Step 1: Go no contact
A clean break is the best kind of break up because it provides the space and time apart to accept the end of the relationship.
No contact necessitates deleting your ex girlfriends number from your phone. Furthermore, you may be required to remove her from all social networking sites for the foreseeable future.
It’s not about getting even or breaking all ties with her on a bad note.
In order for you to heal, you need to be completely separated. Any communication with her is going to itch at the scabs of your emotional wounds.
This will prevent you from moving on and possibly create hope that the relationship can be rekindled.
The fastest way to move on is to go no contact.
Step 2: Remove all reminders of her
The longer you look at the past, the more likelier you are to get stuck back there. Nostalgia is a dangerous drug. It can hit at any time and influence you to relive those ‘good’ old memories.
Nostalgia is often an inaccurate look at the past.
You may end up looking at photos or listening to songs you both liked and feel slightly nostalgic. Thing is, it’s counterproductive.
The road ahead is one that does not take a detour back to the past. To move forward, you sometimes have to abandon some baggage.
Along with no contact, get rid of reminders. You can remove them permanently or store them away until you’ve completely moved on.
Step 3: Don’t check her social media updates at all
It’s tempting to check up on an ex girlfriend on social media. You may think you’re over her and that nothing she does will affect you.
But then you find out that she’s flirting with new guys or having a great time with her friends based on her ‘updates’, and suddenly, you’re heartbroken again.
How could she be so happy now that I’m not in her life anymore?
When this question creeps into your mind, it’s game over. You’ll fall down a rabbit hole that leads to some foolish behavior.
Save yourself the torture by not checking her social media because it may even paint a picture that’s not even close to reality.
Step 4: Be alone
This is the one thing most guys run away from after a breakup but it’s the single most effective way of getting over your ex girlfriend.
When you are alone, it gives you the space and time to process and accept everything you’re thinking and feeling regarding the breakup, relationship and your ex girlfriend.
The best time to date someone new is when you are perfectly happy being single.
That means you have completely broken the attachment to your old relationship.
Your new lifestyle, routine and goals make you happy and they’re influenced by your single status.
As far as possible, avoid dates and rebound relationships for as long as it takes to move on after your breakup.
Otherwise, you’re inviting a host of other problems and pain into your life as well as to someone else who doesn’t deserve it.
Step 5: Face your feelings
This makes me think about an Enrique Iglesias song – ‘You can run, you can hide but you can’t escape my love.‘
In the same vein, you can’t outrun your feelings. They will always catch up.
After a breakup, regrets and unresolved issues start to simmer. You can ignore those feelings until they explode in an unhealthy and defeating way.
Or you can choose to face your feelings head-on. If you need to cry, then do it. If you need to vent to a friend, do it. If you want to wallow in self-pity or anger for a while, do it.
You have to go through all those feelings before you can’t get over them.
Step 6: Spend time with family and friends
You’ve just said goodbye to one of the relationships in your life and it sucks.
But, it’s also a good time to invest all that residual love and attention you have to give to your family and friends.
Not only will this make you feel at ease but these are the people who will support you through every breakup and painful experience.
They will add a smile to your face during this time and bring you a different perspective to focus on.
Step 7: Meet new people
Only meet new people after you’ve done everything up until this point. You don’t have to enter the dating scene with the intention to find your next big love story.
It’s perfectly okay to dip your feet back into the dating pool to have a good time and get a taste for what the future holds again.
You will be happy again and you will experience love again. Meeting new people is exciting, challenging and a reminder of what you can look forward to.
It’s also an opportunity to create new memories to reflect on rather than remaining stuck on old memories with your ex girlfriend.
Here’s a list of fun first date ideas.
Step 8: Focus on building new habits
Because you’re going through a breakup, you probably have blocks of time in your day that are left empty.
Instead of wasting those hours on nothing, how about you set some new goals or build some new habits.
Not only will this give you something else to focus but the success you have from chasing goals or building new habits will boost your self confidence and overall mood.
Empower yourself with action.
Think of it as an investment in yourself and the future.
So when the time comes to meet the next love of your life, you’ll be an even better version of yourself.
Step 9: Change your routine
Since you’re going through a change, one you possibly didn’t initiate, it could be a good idea to take some control of your life and choose to make changes to your routine.
Instead of doing the same things at the same time, shuffle things around.
Embrace change with eagerness because it will give you a new outlook on life. You’ll feel more in control and that can offer some well needed comfort.
More importantly, it offers an escape from the reminders attached to your last relationship.
Check out this article for ideas on a new daily routine.
Step 10: Embrace the suck
Truth be told, breakups suck. Whether the relationship was good or bad, breakups still hurt and leave behind a mark on your heart that takes time to heal.
You can spend hours reading countless articles on how to get over your ex girlfriend fast but it won’t change the fact that there will be a period of time in your life that sucks.
But with each day that passes, it doesn’t suck as much.
You will not feel as bad as you do today.
That’s a personal guarantee I’m willing to make especially if you follow the advice in this article.
You must be willing to put in the hard work and embrace the suck. Suffering is usually the path or personal transformation and gain.
You Will Get Over Your Ex And Move On
It’s only a matter of time. And I know you’re in a hurry to do it but don’t rush the process.
You only have to get over this ex girlfriend one time, provided you don’t get back with her but you get the point, right?
Do it right!
Put in the work and time to make sure that you’ve completely closed this chapter of your story.
That’s truly the best way to enjoy what comes next.
And trust me, what comes next is will be amazing!
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