When I was younger and going through heartbreak, I had no idea how to get over a girl and that led to a lot of suffering and mistakes.
At first, I did everything wrong. From chasing after a lost love to rebounding quickly, I found myself making mistake after mistake that prolonged the pain of a break up longer than needed.
On some occasions, it wasn’t even due to a breakup. Being rejected by someone you love is just as painful.
But, the good thing is that rejection can be a tool for growth and maturity if you can adjust your attitude and mindset to view it as an expected experience of life.
At the end of the day, everyone experiences rejection at some point or another. There’s something cathartic about knowing that others have gone through similar pain and come out on the other side.
Be that as it may, I think it’s important to learn and adopt the following tips on how to get over a girl in a healthy way.
I just want you to know that I sympathize with you and I hope that this article gives you some peace.
Because I know one thing for certain, tough times don’t last but tough people do.
1. Feel The Emotions And The Pain
There’s no running away from it, even if we try. I remember a time when I spent a year trying to avoid feeling the loss but it came back to bite me down the road.
Don’t prolong the pain. Feel it so that you can heal from it. Trust me, making romantic decisions during this time will lead to disastrous outcomes.
Spend as much time as you need working through it to heal from it once and for all.
2. Take Her Off That Pedastal
During this time, it’s natural to start looking at the girl we lost as the most perfect being in all of creation and time.
All of a sudden, this girl who you may even have doubts about becomes The One.
We all go through this during loss.
What I suggest you do is think about all the things about her that are less than perfect and the occasions when she was a less than ideal girlfriend or wife.
We’re all human and we all have flaws. This girl you lost is no exception to that truth!
3. Be Objective About Why Things Didn’t Work Out
I wish we could have the ability to go back in time or see the future so that we could do things right.
But, we can’t.
And even if we could, there’s no guarantee that the result would be any different.
Sometimes, two people are not meant to be no matter how much you may want it to be.
Certain things in life can’t be changed and I believe destiny is one of those things.
Think about those objective reasons why you were not meant to be with this girl and hold onto that.
It provided me with some solace and it can do the same for you.
4. Avoid Rebounding
When you need someone to get over someone, that’s the worst time to be with anyone.
I’ve previously described rebounding as slapping on a bandaid on an infected wound.
Without treatment for the infection, the bandaid does nothing to cure the issue.
You’ll be in 10 times the pain relatively soon.
Short term fixes for heartache never work out in the long term.
When you involve someone else into your life whilst your heart is still attached to another person, you put yourself and this new person at risk of more pain and heartbreak.
That’s not fair on anyone.
The best thing you can do right now is to be single and be by yourself. Learn to get comfortable with the idea of not having this person in your life. This is an important step that shouldn’t be overlooked at all.
5. Surround Yourself With Friends And Family
If there’s one thing loss teaches me, it’s to surround myself with people who care about me and I care about.
This life is far too short and unpredictable to neglect our loved ones over someone who opts out of our lives.
In my eyes, that’s a recipe for regret.
What you ought to do is force yourself to spend time with them. Let these people support and carry you during this trying time.
Think about this for a second – if you’re going to carry this loss with you for a while, what’s the harm in trying to have some fun with your loved ones for some time?
If that bad stuff is still there when you get back, there’s nothing wrong with taking a few hours to feel good with good people.
6. Focus On Yourself Now
You have all this time on your hands and emotions that are spilling over.
On one hand, you could spend this time-wasting away and just living like a zombie.
Alternatively, you could be spending all this time and love on yourself.
You could build your career, fix your health, get in shape, try new hobbies, learn a new skill and so much more.
Channel all that energy and love to yourself and it will create a healthy environment for yourself.
You’ll feel more confident and self-sufficient as time goes on.
This makes the healing process so much easier and before you know it, you’d have completely figured out how to get over a girl you loved and lost.
7. Start Meeting New People Casually
When you’ve done everything I’ve mentioned from points 1 to 6, you’ll reach a stage when you don’t feel hurt over what happened.
Your mind won’t be tormented by thoughts of that girl and you’ll find yourself enjoying your own company.
Good times approach and you’ve settled into a new routine.
Now would be an excellent time to start meeting new people. You’re in a healthier state of mind and it would be coming from a state of desire, not desperation.
You’ll be able to view new people in a positive light and not be measuring them against your past lover either.
8. Make Peace With The Past
Peace is attained by looking at the past with an acceptance of not being able to change it.
Living in a world of What-if’s surrounding the impossible is a painful and dangerous place to be.
I’m not saying it’s an easy thing to do but it is imperative that you try. Because it is in the trying that you find peace.
Whatever has happened is over and done now.
You don’t have to torture yourself over things you can’t change.
Let’s just figure out what we can learn from our mistakes so that we grow as people and don’t make those mistakes in the future.
It Takes Time To Get Over A Girl
There’s no rushing the process but if you follow the tips in this article, I am more than certain you will move on and get over a breakup in the healthiest of fashion.
Think from a place of success. If 5 years from now you’re married to the girl of your dreams, then is it really worth it to through your whole life away over someone you lost now?
Ponder about that and use that little technique when you’re having a bad day feel hopeless.
If you need coaching or require some advice on a relationship or dating emergency, you can visit my services page and get in contact. I offer email coaching and emergency email advice within 24 hours of receipt.
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