The loss of someone you love is devastating. Trust me, I know. Whether that loss is due to death or the end of a relationship, it hurts and takes a lot out of you. In this article, we will discuss how to forget someone using techniques that have been proven to work.
Here’s a quick look at the 10 ways on how to forget someone:
- Face your feelings.
- Write about it.
- Surround yourself with people who love you.
- Actively redirect your mind to healthier thoughts.
- Get rid of reminders.
- Initiate no contact.
- Change your routine.
- Draw up a 5-year plan.
- Challenge yourself regularly.
- Meet new people.
Forgetting someone you love is hard because the mind attaches emotions to memories. And those memories trigger emotions of love and pain. It’s a cycle.
As you very well know, the more you love someone, the more sentimental you become.
Mundane things and little details like a scent or the sound of rain can remind you of that person who isn’t in your life anymore.
For some, this brings them a warm feeling of comfort and peace. For others, like myself, it brings us a sense of pain, longing, misery and suffering.
Be that as it may, with time, maturity, suffering, and trial and error, I have mastered the art on how to forget someone. More importantly, I’ve figured out how to make peace with the loss of someone and not suffer anymore.
The transition was not easy. It was painful, to say the least. And yet, now I find myself able to feel free from those feelings that haunted me.
But, I was only able to do that by venturing out into the world in search of ways to forget someone I loved and lost.
All in all, the journey may have been difficult but the destination was peaceful.
Without wasting any time, let’s talk about everything you can do to forget someone.
1. Face your feelings
You can try to run from it or hide from it but life has a way of placing us in front of those things we fear the most.
Life is happening to and for us.
Every time you are reminded of something or someone you lost, it’s just another opportunity to deal with and accept those feelings.
Life doesn’t want to hurt you.
If you can muster up the strength to endure, the person you will become is someone who is exuberant and powerful.
Someone who has emotional control and a clear understanding of how to deal with the pain of loss.
You can never truly prepare for it but you can grow from it. After a breakup, you could choose to be alone for some time to truly understand these feelings you have.
During that time alone, you can use it to grow as a person and learn from the mistakes of the past.
Those lessons will help you become a better person and a better partner. And in the end, your future relationships may benefit from these very lessons.
2. Write about it
I’ve come to understand that our minds operate on a give and get formula.
There’s only so much we can intake before it bogs us down. To process those thoughts and make sense of how we feel, it is far more productive to export those thoughts out into the world by talking to someone or writing about it.
Journaling has become a daily ritual in my life.
Whenever I am overcome with emotion, emptying my mind onto paper allows me to lessen the load and find some clarity.
It’s a coping mechanism that prevents you from acting impulsively, at the expense of yourself and those around you.
Think about this for a second – we often forget things that don’t cause an emotional reaction within us.
If you can process and remove all the negative feelings attached to the thought of someone, it’s possible that with time you can forget them.
But, I’m pretty sure that without those sad feelings, you’re going to be left with good feelings and good memories. If there are any.
Make it a habit to journal every night before you sleep. Empty your mind of all those thoughts it accumulated within the day and you will have a good sleep.
3. Surround yourself with people who love you
Most people who experience loss develop a profound appreciation for the people in their life. Through loss, we learn to value. That, in and of itself, is beyond valuable.
Being able to channel the pain of loss to be more cognizant of those who remain in your life is the best outcome from the situation.
And the more time you spend with people who you love and they love you, the better you will feel.
More importantly, they will give you far more memories to cherish that end up taking center stage in your mind.
The more of these memories you accumulate, the harder it becomes to hold onto memories of people who are gone from your life.
People who love you will also lend a helping hand when you are down as well as a shoulder to cry on.
Don’t ever underestimate the power of a warm hug. It could do wonders for you.
4. Actively redirect your mind to healthier thoughts
I came across this idea to verbally shout, ‘Scratch That‘, whenever your mind goes to a thought that defeats or diminishes you.
Essentially, when we have thoughts that begin to infect our feelings and our life, rather than feed it with more thought and time, say ‘Scratch That‘ to snap yourself out of its hold.
The more you do this, the easier it becomes to stop a particular thought from occupying too much real estate in your mind.
This simple technique works well to keep you grounded within the present moment. And by doing so, you can stop yourself from overthinking about someone you want to forget.
5. Get rid of reminders
I’m a sentimental person and it’s extremely difficult for me to part with mementos but it’s those very same things which bring me a host of sadness and longing.
When I managed to convince myself to pack them up, delete or move them away from my surroundings, I was able to think about those people less.
Additionally, it created more space for new things in my life.
As time goes on, you’ll find yourself feeling less attached to the past and more focused on the present and future.
At least for the foreseeable future, get rid of all reminders to give yourself a chance to move on.
Related article: Should I delete photos of my ex?
6. Initiate no contact
In my opinion and from the testimony of many people, the most effective way of moving on after the end of a relationship is to initiate no contact.
To do no contact, you must eliminate any and all communication with your ex. You may not meet, call, text, email or interact with your ex on social networks for an indefinite time.
During this time, you will miss your ex and want to reach out but that is part of the process. If you can endure, it will change your life and help you forget.
During no contact, your goal is to put as much distance between you and the person you are trying to forget or move on from.
But it’s also a prime time for self development so spend your time becoming a better person.
7. Change your routine
Apart from mementos, routines that involved someone who is no longer in our life can keep us stuck in that phase when they were around.
Every day, when we engage in that old routine, it will bring up a host of feelings of attachment and sadness.
Even if you can only make minor changes to your routine, I implore you to do it. Try waking up at a different time, add in new habits, shuffle around items and create a new routine for yourself.
It’s practical and lets you feel more in control of the situation.
All these small actions accumulate and have a profound effect. You just have to be consistent with them.
8. Draw up a 5-year plan
The more you focus on the future, the easier it becomes to let go of the past. I remember having the urge to do something real and something practical during this situation.
Ironically, apart from desperately trying to forget someone, I was also feeling lost and directionless.
This is particularly true when going through a breakup. Chances are such, you imagined a future with your partner and crafted all your plans around the relationship.
Now that they’re gone, you’re left feeling uncertain and lost. Which is why drawing up a 5-year plan is so beneficial. It gives you direction in your life and prioritizes what you want and what makes you happy.
Divide your 5-year plan into the following different sections: Relationships, Health, Wealth, Spirituality and Passions.
Within each section, draw a list of the things you want in the next 5 years. Be descriptive and thorough. Keep this 5-year plan somewhere in open sight so that you can study it regularly.
9. Challenge yourself regularly
I noticed that whenever I had something challenging to deal with, even a life problem, I’d be able to think only about dealing with it.
Thoughts of the past didn’t matter. I wasn’t focusing on what was gone but what I had.
And the more I tested myself with challenges on a regular basis, the easier it became to think about things other than that person who haunted me.
With hard challenges, I also discovered my true self. It pushed me to face my demons and dig into the ‘cookie jar’ of moments when I overcame insurmountable obstacles.
Each time, my confidence grew until I was transformed into someone who felt strong. Someone who didn’t feel ruled by hard times or difficult emotions.
Step out of your comfort zone. You’ll be okay.
10. Meet new people
Rocky said it best, “You know, the older I get, the more things I gotta leave behind. That’s life.”
No truer words were ever spoken.
It’s a part of life. We will meet people who will eventually leave our lives like how we will leave there life at some point.
But, that doesn’t mean we can’t meet new people.
There’s nothing wrong with forming connections with other people. It doesn’t diminish the bond you shared with the people who are gone.
Even after a breakup, take as much time as you need to work through your emotions but at a certain point, you must step out into the world and meet new people.
By doing so, you can build new bonds and new memories that occupy the space in your heart and mind.
Things you should avoid doing
Now that we have touched on the best techniques you can implement in your life to forget someone and move on, let’s talk about some actions and habits to avoid altogether.
Chasing after someone who left willingly: Don’t undermine your self worth and value by chasing someone who left you. It’s not worth it. Rather than fix things, it will chase them further away from you and give you more baggage to deal with.
Second-guessing your past decisions: You did what you thought was right at the moment. Even if you made mistakes, it doesn’t mean you have anything to gain from punishing yourself over it. The past cannot be changed. The productive and healthy thing to do is learn from it and do better in the future.
Staying stuck in the past: Nothing changes by doing nothing. Chaining yourself to the past is a waste of your life. Move forward in life, especially on days when you don’t feel like it. By showing up, you take the most important step towards moving on and starting afresh.
Spending too much time on social networks: They make it so easy to stay connected with people who you want to forget that it does more harm than good. I’ve quit most social networks and my life has been much better since. If you choose to remain on social networks, don’t stalk or spend time on your ex’s profiles.
Moving on and forgetting someone takes time
Unless you have someone who can hypnotize you, I don’t think there’s a way to magically forget someone overnight and by choice.
The real magic takes place through time. None of us can ever maintain any single emotion for an indefinite period of time. Not even pain and heartbreak can last a lifetime.
Perhaps you may carry it with you but the pain will not be as bad as it was before. So long as you are able to implement the strategies mentioned in this article.
Use Reddit for support
When I had written this article, I was not aware of Reddit. I assumed that it was just a forum for people to share memes and talk about weightloss.
You can imagine my surprise and shock when I discovered that Reddit has many popular subs for support, breakups, loss and more.
Being able to share your story with others who are compassionate and experiencing a similar pain can be very cathartic and therapeutic.
I hope you find peace with whatever you’re going through right now. It’s going to take some time to forget someone who touched your heart but time will ease that pain.
You may never completely forget about them in the traditional sense of the word forget. But, you can definitely forget the pain of their loss and move on to focus on the happiness in your life.
Thankfully, the advice in this article will definitely help you find peace.
What’s your best tip on how to forget someone? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below and let’s keep the conversation going.