If you’re reading this article expecting to learn about how to cope with being ugly, well, you’re in the right place because I have overcome deep insecurities over my 3 decades on this planet.
Sure, people may have called you ugly before, or you’ve been rejected by a lot of girls or guys along the way.
I get it.
Rejection stings, and it can drive even the strongest of us into a pit of depression.
But here’s the thing: Why do you need to cope with being ugly? Who even decided that you’re ugly?
Is it based on the assumption that because you don’t look like the person on a magazine cover, you aren’t beautiful?
Is it because you’ve been rejected too many times?
As far as I’m concerned, you don’t need to cope with being ugly. Coping implies that you’re suffering. People with life-threatening diseases are suffering. They’re the ones who need coping mechanisms.
What you need is to understand how to use your current predicament to your advantage.
It’s all about a mindset flip.
You’re focusing on the wrong people. Instead of fixating on Chad and his ridiculously blue eyes, you need to be looking at Fat Tyler and analyzing what makes his beautiful girlfriend cling to him like he’s some adorable teddy bear!
With that being said, this is a no-nonsense article about how to cope with being ugly by not coping but by thriving. Here goes…
6 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Ugly
1. Maximize Your Most Attractive Feature
Not having a lot to work with means you have an easier time maximizing your most attractive feature.
Be honest with yourself.
If you’re out of shape, it’s not going to be your stomach. If you’re bald, it’s not going to be a great hairstyle.
I’m a huge advocate for personal development, so push yourself to be better as much as you can.
But, for now, what you need to be focusing on is the one or two features that can be maximized to look attractive.
Maybe you have a great beard, maybe you have beautifully shaped eyes, maybe you have a sparkly white smile, and so on and so forth.
Find that one thing that looks good and make it look great!
My thought process on this is as follows: if you feel like most of your appearance is average, then by making one or two things look amazing, people will instantly focus on that great feature because it’s perfectly contrasted by other average features.
Work with what you have.
Nobody is all ugly.
Never in my life have I ever met someone who didn’t have something that looked good.
We’re all so fixated on our flaws that we often lose sight of what we have to offer.
Those strengths are what we ought to be developing and showing off to the world.
Focusing on them will make you feel a hell of a lot better than you do now.
2. Stop Comparing Yourself To Others And Own The Room
I’ve previously discussed the detrimental effects of comparing yourself to others, especially when it comes to feeling jealous.
Neither one of these things leads to a positive outcome when it comes to self-perception.
You can’t change your DNA, and you can’t influence the way someone else looks.
So, why waste your time comparing yourself?
Unless you can say with certainty that you share a 100% genetic match with someone and have lived identical lives, it would make no sense to measure your worth against that person.
When deciding whether someone is attractive, rarely is that attraction solely based on comparison.
Have you ever found yourself talking to someone you find attractive or unattractive and instantly comparing them to someone else in your vicinity who you’ve never spoken to once in your life?
No! Nobody does that.
So when you’re busy running yourself down to the ground by comparing yourself to Steve or Jeniffer, remind yourself that the people in your life or orbit aren’t.
The next time you think about comparing yourself to someone else, just stop. There shouldn’t be another time.
If your comparison is about something you admire in yourself and that person, then perhaps it’s okay. But I wouldn’t suggest it at all.
3. Become Ridiculously Successful
I’m not going to sugarcoat things and pretend like people are not superficial beings.
That would be misleading of me, and I’m not in the business of being a bullshit artist.
The truth of the matter is that if you feel like you’re ugly or unattractive, you need to cater to the next attraction factor. Success!
Successful people appear more attractive to potential mates.
It projects the image that you are a high-quality individual who can be a provider or relied upon.
Success is often attributed to hard work, discipline, dedication, and effort. All of which are attractive characteristics in a person.
This is why successful people appear more attractive, even if they were initially viewed as less attractive based on physicality.
I know some people cringe at this idea, but it’s not really all that bad. I’m not advocating the idea that you need to buy love. Hell no.
But I would be foolish not to discuss the merits of this realistic situation.
Physical attraction is not the primary reason for love. Often, it’s further down on the list.
I can think of over a dozen attractive girls who I was completely put off with after spending time with them.
Character and experience dictate whether love develops between two people.
Just because someone is attracted to you because of your success doesn’t necessarily mean they are after your money or that they aren’t truly interested in you as a person.
It could be the characteristics you developed to be successful that actually draw them in, and that’s a good enough foundation to build a relationship on.
So don’t just assume that someone who gives you the time of day because of your success is necessarily after your money and not you.
4. Focus On Your Character And Charm
This really boils down to working with what you have and improving yourself as much as possible.
If love, attraction, and general rapport are dependent on how easily people connect with and like your energy, then wouldn’t it be more fruitful for you to work on your character rather than aimlessly try to look like someone else?
Humor, conversational skills, listening skills, negotiation, empathy, compromise, and depth of personality would serve you extremely well in winning the attention and hearts of those around you.
Even more so than someone who is good-looking but dreadfully boring.
I suppose that is the silver lining to assuming that you’re ugly.
Someone who has this idea of being extra-good-looking fails to pay closer attention to all of the abovementioned skills and characteristics.
So when they engage with someone beyond physical attraction, they end up having a very shallow and surface level of connection.
Trust me, you’re not going to be single forever, especially not over something as simple as your physical appearance.
5. Become A High Valued Partner
Looks do not establish a strong, loving, and enjoyable relationship. Quality of character and maturity do.
I can easily think of a ton of beautiful women desperately trying to find a man who can steal their hearts and keep them.
Why though? It’s not like there’s a shortage of single men. If they’re so attractive, shouldn’t they easily be able to find a partner?
The reason is that there’s a shortage of smart, intuitive, confident, understanding, mature, lively, and composed single men.
So if you’re sitting around thinking the reason you’re not finding someone is because you’re ugly, then you need to wake up and make some drastic changes because that excuse no longer flies.
Become the kind of lover that is of such high quality that women and men can’t resist being with you because the relationship is just so damn good and joyful.
6. Own Who You Are Unapologetically
Confidence is sexy. Ask any woman what they find attractive in a man, and that’s often the first thing they say.
There’s a thin line between confidence and arrogance, and many people mistake the two.
True confidence stems from a state of complete acceptance and ownership of who you are, with or without flaws.
It is the ability to love yourself, irrespective of any flaw, and to be able to let the world embrace you.
Think of it as having a take it or leave it attitude without being affected by the choice made.
Not being triggered by insecurities projects a sense of indifference to what others think about you. One thing I know about indifference is that it translates into confidence with men and women.
You end up projecting a sense of strength that is hard to ignore.
If you can’t change the things that make you feel ugly, be indifferent to them. Accept them and take ownership of who you are without hiding.
That’s when you’ll work your way toward the people who find you magnetic.
You’re More Than Your Physical Appearance
And if you’re not, then be more. Life is far too great and precious to be wasted on just one feature for a human being.
You’re here. And you have a chance to defy any odds that may have been stacked against you.
So instead of just moping around thinking you need to cope with being ugly, why don’t you abandon that way of thinking and figure out how to thrive and live a life that makes you feel good?
Looks don’t matter when you’re out in the world kicking ass and making a name for yourself.
Trust me, you’re more than just your physical appearance.