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How To Behave When You Run Into Your Ex

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how to act when you run into your ex

Am I wrong in assuming that most of us imagine what it would be like to run into an ex? It’s happened to me a few times, and depending on how you feel about the breakup and your ex, it can either be a daunting experience filled with a flurry of emotions or it can be a casual encounter that doesn’t make much of a difference to you. It’s natural to feel a mix of emotions, ranging from nostalgia to discomfort. How you handle these encounters says a lot about your maturity and emotional intelligence. Here’s a guide on how to behave when you run into your ex.

The goal is to remain dignified, respectful, and composed. If the two of you just broke up, emotions will run high, and understandably, it may be difficult to remain stoic or calm. But try your best.

I’ve never found myself feeling ashamed when I’ve behaved with respect and dignity. Even towards people who treated me poorly, being respectful while maintaining boundaries has never failed me. Which is probably one of the reasons why most of my ex’s still have a good opinion of me.

How To Act When Running Into An Ex

what to do when you run into your ex

1. Stay Calm

The first rule of thumb is to remain composed. Take a deep breath and ground yourself in the present moment. Panicking or overreacting won’t help the situation and might even make it more awkward. Remember, you’ve encountered them before, and you can handle it again. Do not break down in front of them, lash out, or start declaring undying feelings of love. It’s too much too soon, especially in a public setting.

2. Respect Boundaries

Respect the boundaries you established post-breakup. If you agreed to limited contact or no contact at all, maintain that stance. Don’t use chance encounters as an opportunity to rekindle the relationship or delve into unresolved issues unless both parties are comfortable doing so. Greet and move on, or have a conversation if it fits the boundaries that you have.

3. Be Polite

A simple nod, smile, or brief greeting is often sufficient. You don’t need to engage in lengthy conversations or delve into personal matters. The best thing you can do is keep the interaction polite but concise. Avoid sarcasm or passive-aggressive remarks, as they can escalate tensions unnecessarily. Even if you want to re-attract your ex, this is the best approach. Remember, it’s a chance encounter, and you don’t want to be the one trying to force a long interaction.

4. Mind Your Body Language

Pay attention to your body language, as it can communicate volumes. Maintain open and non-threatening gestures to show that you are calm and composed. Avoid crossing your arms, fidgeting excessively, or displaying signs of discomfort. Projecting confidence can help diffuse any tension in the encounter, but it may also increase attraction. Ironically, if you are trying to move on, it will be helpful to cross your arms and position your body away from them to keep the encounter brief.

5. Avoid Negative Topics

Steer clear of discussing past grievances or asserting blame. Dwelling on negative aspects of the relationship will only reopen old wounds and create unnecessary drama. Focus on neutral or positive topics if conversation ensues. Whether you want to move on or re-attract your ex, bringing up painful memories and feelings will only widen the gap between both of you. There’s a time and a place for these sorts of conversations, and a random encounter is not one of them.

6. Set A Time Limit For Yourself

If you find yourself in a conversation that feels uncomfortable or awkward, gracefully excuse yourself after a few minutes. Politely mention that you have other commitments or need to catch up with someone else. This allows both parties to part ways without lingering discomfort. Don’t risk undoing your progress after the breakup for an unplanned interaction that will lead you down a path of future suffering. Prioritize yourself as much as you can while remaining respectful.

7. Don’t Compare Or Compete

There’s a chance that your ex has a new partner. Be prepared that your mind will gravitate towards comparisons, but force yourself not to. At the same time, avoid the temptation to compare your current life or achievements with your ex-partner’s. Each person follows their own path post-breakup, and dwelling on comparisons serves no constructive purpose. Focus on your personal growth and happiness rather than seeking validation through comparison. Your ex’s progress in life is not the benchmark or measuring stick for your own.

8. Maintain Your Dignity

Regardless of how the encounter unfolds, maintain your dignity and self-respect. Reacting impulsively or stooping to petty behavior reflects poorly on you, not your ex. Rise above any potential drama and handle the situation with grace and maturity. If you feel like it’s impossible for you to remain stoic or calm, excuse yourself from the interaction.

9. Reflect And Learn

After the encounter, take some time to reflect on your emotions and reactions. Did you handle the situation as gracefully as you’d hoped? Are there areas for improvement? Use these encounters as opportunities for personal growth and introspection.

10. Move Forward

Ultimately, running into your ex should serve as a reminder of the progress you’ve made since the breakup. Whether you’re happily single, exploring new relationships, or thriving in your personal and professional life, focus on moving forward with confidence and optimism. If you find yourself ruminating on the past, instead of going backwards, try to delve deeper into healing and letting go of past emotions.

If you live in the same city as your ex, encounters with them may be unavoidable and inevitable. By following these guidelines on how to behave when you run into your ex, I’m certain that you can navigate these encounters with dignity and grace, leaving a sense of respect and goodwill between the two of you.

Remember something: Even if your ex is a scumbag, don’t compromise your character by stooping to their level. You will always appreciate the fact that you remain committed to the values you hold dear to your heart.

If you would like a step-by-step explanation on how to get an ex back or to re-attract someone who lost interest, grab a copy of my ebook called Reconcile. I put this guide together for serious students of the game who want to cut through the fluff and get results in their love life. Click Here To Check It Out! 

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