Learning how to be more mysterious will make you far more attractive, interesting, and intriguing to people you want to date.
Here’s my list of tried-and-tested ways to be more mysterious:
- Be indifferent when needed
- Don’t reveal how you feel too soon
- Listen more and speak less
- Avoid posting everything about your life on social media
- Develop a life of abundance and depth
- Maintain your privacy about past relationships
- Practice emotional self control
- Deflect with humor
- Master your body language
- Be spontaneous
Being mysterious has a way of creating a fantasy in the minds of the people around you.
The desire to unwrap who you are like a gift is undeniable. It heightens the experience and the emotions involved in dating, especially during the early stages of attraction.
I’ve been on hundreds of dates over the years,and I can always say, with absolute certainty, that the dates who found me mysterious were 100% more invested and interested in me than the ones who weren’t.
If you’re someone who fails to have impressive first dates, then this is the perfect article for you because I have explained the six best techniques on how to be more mysterious in simple and practical language.
Let’s take a closer and more in-depth look at how to be more mysterious.
10 Ways To Be More Mysterious
1. Be indifferent when needed
This applies to both men and women, but when someone is playing hard to get and is holding their cards close to their chest, you can do the same.
They may say or do things to get you triggered in hopes of you freaking out and spilling your guts.
If you suspect this to be the case, indifference is the best reaction, especially during rejection.
Not knowing how you feel after being rejected is a surefire way to make someone uncertain of their choice and completely intrigued by your indifferent response.
Because indifference is such an uncommon reaction to rejection, it will make you appear to be more mysterious.
Sometimes, people will throw a curveball your way just to see how you react and where your boundaries are.
Being indifferent is how to be more mysterious, and it will drive them crazy with curiosity.
Check out this article by Forbes on Empathy Vs. Indifference.
2. Don’t reveal how you feel too soon
Feelings are developed over time. No matter how fast or quickly you’d like to jump into a relationship with someone, you can’t force things to move at a pace other than the pace your prospective lover finds comfortable.
And as tempted as you are to tell someone how you feel, unless you feel like the romance and chemistry have developed significantly and the tension is almost boiling over, hold off a bit.
Allow the romance to brew and the sexual tension to simmer over time.
When you know for sure that it’s time to share your feelings, do it then.
You’ll know in your heart and mind when the time is right.
Confessing feelings too fast and too soon can be compared to pulling a cake out of the oven before it even has a chance to bake.
Chances are, you’ll ruin the baking process and be left with a half-baked cake that can’t be eaten.
I’m not advising you to be a wet blanket and not share how you feel altogether.
It’s okay to express your attraction and fondness for someone in a subtle and romantic way.
Save those undying confessions of true love when the time is right and you’ve spent enough time to build a solid bond.
3. Listen more and speak less
If you’re the one doing all the talking, that leaves no room to keep the mystery going. You might as well stop wasting your time learning how to be more mysterious because you’ve already divulged too much information.
People love to be heard and to talk about themselves.
That’s why you’ll find yourself naturally speaking about your life, feelings, and thoughts because it feels good. We love to hear our own voices.
With that being the case, someone who wants to know about us and shows interest in listening to us becomes more attractive.
And in sharing more about our lives and experiences, we develop a sense of trust and a desire to know more about the other person.
But because you’ve been talking more, there’s not much information on the table about them.
And that makes the person you’re with seem far more mysterious and interesting than they may even be.
Use this simple truth to your advantage.
Rather than spending most of the time talking about yourself, shift the focus onto them by asking questions on your date that you’re genuinely interested in knowing.
Follow up on things they share, inquire about how they feel, be engaged, and so forth.
This will make them talk more while you just listen. Witness how much better those dates go by using this simple principle.
As time goes on, the other individual will begin to feel like you know them all too well. And you will. But then that leaves them with a burning desire to know about you.
At which point, they will bombard you with questions. Feed them pieces of information over time. Not only will you be more mysterious, but you will also face a challenge that is quite sexy.
4. Avoid posting everything about your life on social media
Love is developed not only in person but also when you are away from the person you’re interested in.
Not knowing what he or she is doing makes you think about that person, fantasize,and draw up ideas of who they truly are in different situations.
Posting on social networks does nothing but hinder the growth of romance, especially when you’re using it excessively.
Let your prospective lover unwrap you slowly over time, like a gift. Don’t cheat them of the thrill and anticipation of getting to know you over time.
Also, people tend to overshare ridiculous things on social networks. They create an image and persona that are next to impossible to maintain in real life.
Why set the measuring stick of who you are to be unreachable in reality?
When you portray yourself and your life online in a specific way, it creates an expectation that you are responsible for.
If you aren’t able to do so, which is mostly the case, then the person you could have had a chance of being with is often left underwhelmed.
You can’t knock the socks off someone if you’ve set the benchmark for who you are to be higher than it should be. Especially when that occurs due to your online activities.
5. Develop a life of abundance and depth
If attraction between people is built in moments when someone has time to miss you, then we can infer that you ought not to be available and in the presence of that person all the time.
In other words, being away from the person you want to be with assists in the development of feelings and attraction.
Being available at the drop of a hat creates the impression that you don’t have much of a life outside of chasing after the person you’re interested in.
Your personality is built to be three-dimensional by nature. Like a tripod stand, all legs are required to build a stable foundation.
Having goals and hobbies outside of your romantic life influences your personality and creates depth for you as a person.
Someone who has much depth has much to offer that can’t be summarized overnight.
You have family and friends, right? People who may guide you to be better and add a layer of happiness to your life
Don’t neglect them for one person.
Your date or love interest will respect you for giving importance to the things that you ought to give importance to.
And that positive, balanced life you have will reflect in your attitude. So, he or she will wonder about what makes you so happy and positive.
6. Maintain your privacy about past relationships
I have noticed that when people tend to start dating someone new, they breakdown in detail all the things that were wrong about their ex’s and those relationships.
Instead of this new person fantasizing about who you are within a relationship and what it could be like to be with you, he or she ends up with a roadmap of how good or bad you are in a relationship.
It removes every single bit of mystery about you as a lover. More than that, negativity begets negativity. You’re creating a toxic space in which attraction and love cannot grow.
Let the interaction and fun time you’re having with each other create an image of you in the eyes of your potential lover.
Thereafter, slowly but surely, open up about things from the past that your partner would like to know.
Just to summarize, don’t try to win someone over by listing everything on your mind and from your life, nor shittalk someone from your past.
Don’t give someone reasons to walk away from you. This isn’t how to be more mysterious at all.
Allow the romance to develop over time in an organic and healthy manner.
7. Practive emotional self control
It is undeniable that emotional and physical control are sexy. Why? And how does it help you to be more mysterious? Here’s why…
As you get older, the habits of your childhood and the vices of your life gain more control over you.
Most people are controlled by something.
Whether it be money, sex, fame, or status, those who submit themselves to being controlled have a hard time doing what’s best for themselves.
Someone who has complete control over themselves despite being tested projects true power.
When you meet someone who tests you romantically and you display a level of control over yourself and the situation that is uncommon, it will make you appear to be more mysterious due to the nature of it being uncommon.
Start with a few exercises of control.
The next time someone leaves you on read, don’t double text unless there is a solid reason to do so. If someone challenges your opinion, don’t freak out on them, nor should you change your opinion to earn their validation.
The more control you exercise over yourself when emotionally challenged, the easier it becomes.
In response, the sexier you become because of how unpredictable and mysterious you appear to those you are romantically involved with!
8. Deflect with humor
A great way to pique the interest of others is by making them feel good about themselves without revealing too much information about yourself at the same time.
This is one of the skills experienced daters or pick-up artists learn to master.
The only way to do this without coming across as overly protective of personal information while building attraction is to use humor.
Being facetious or outlandish with your answers to certain questions will maintain mystery while making the person on the other side of the table laugh.
9. Master your body language
It is said that more is communicated about a person from their body language than from the words they use.
I always wondered how people picked up exactly how I felt, despite my attempts to remain silent and indifferent.
For some reason, it flew over my head that they were reading my body language.
The expression on my face, the position of my shoulders, the use of my arms and hands, and the openness or closedness of my chest provided nonverbal cues into what I was thinking and feeling.
You can intrigue people and inspire curiosity by working on your body language and facial expressions.
This is one of the key skills developed by poker players.
They learn how to become unreadable, thus creating a desire for examination from other people because stillness and mysteriousness are compelling to decrypt and unravel.
10. Be spontaneous
Spontaneity translates to mysteriousness because it’s hard for people to predict what you are going to do or what you are going to like.
Here’s what prevents most people from being spontaneous: insecurity.
People who are inspired by unpredictability and spontaneity often feel confident in their right to self-expression and exploration.
When you can be self-serving and confident, it’s easy to cultivate an open mind that is hungry for new experiences.
The more time you invest in yourself and explore new experiences without fear of judgment, the easier it becomes to develop a keenness to discover new things.
Like anything in life, practice makes perfect. The more time you spend fine-tuning your approach to dating, the more it will start to improve until you’ve successfully become good at it.
My hope is that you’ve learned how to be more mysterious with this article. Working on yourself is imperative. And with that, just know that you will not be single forever.
Trust me, good times are on the way.
If you need coaching or require some advice on a relationship or dating emergency, you can visit my services page and get in contact. I offer email coaching and emergency email advice within 24 hours of receipt.