If you’re looking for an honest, realistic and practical breakdown of how to be a better girlfriend, then this is it.
You’d be surprised at how the following tips on how to be a better girlfriend can save your relationship from the brink of doom as well as help your boyfriend fall deeper in love with you.
Everything below will be explained in detail and can be applied to most people belonging to a variety of cultures. I’ve taken all of the necessary factors into consideration to make sure that you leave this article with value.
Here’s a quick overview of the 20 tips on how to be a better girlfriend.
- Be supportive.
- Be flirty.
- Appreciate him as much as possible.
- Prioritize him in your life.
- Pay attention to his needs.
- Take care of yourself.
- Don’t compete with his friends.
- Ignore men who try to flirt with you online.
- Trust him unconditionally.
- Be understanding and empathetic.
- Hold him to a higher standard.
- Be a little mysterious.
- Allow him to have some personal time.
- Don’t judge him.
- Compliment him.
- Nurture him when you can.
- Make him feel needed.
- Don’t compare him to other guys.
- Avoid talking about ex-partners too often.
- Communicate your needs clearly.
With that being said, let’s analyze each of these tips on how to be a better girlfriend in more detail.
1. Be supportive
A healthy relationship usually has essential features like affection, attention and support. When one or more of these features are missing, more than just the relationship suffers.
We all know life to be a rollercoaster ride and it is genuinely comforting and amazing to have a support structure to lean on.
Men are usually stigmatized into avoiding any sign of weakness so they end up bottling up their feelings until it boils over and causes havoc.
That’s why it’s so important for a girlfriend or wife to create a safe zone for their partners.
Let him know that you’re by his side and that you are willing to support him during tough times.
Not only will this give him the strength to endure difficulty but he will develop a stronger bond and connection with you.
2. Be flirty
Just because you both are firm and comfortable in the relationship doesn’t mean you should slacken off and take things easy.
Often, what you do to get a guy is what you should actually do to keep him.
Being flirty keeps the relationship vibrant, fun and exciting.
It nurtures attraction and stimulates sexual tension which can be a good thing, especially if you want this to lead into marriage.
Tease him, be playful, wink at him, look at his lips and bite yours, compliment him and so forth.
You don’t have to do anything that is over the top or cringe.
Whatever you did before, go back to that.
3. Appreciate him as much as possible
Most people are looking for a handful of things, appreciation being at the top of that list.
We want to feel like the effort we make and our presence is noted, celebrated and loved.
A man who feels appreciated and noticed for his good traits is a man who will often stay loyal to his woman.
By no means am I defending infidelity at all or trying to create excuses for it.
I’m just trying to emphasize how important it is for you to show him that you still value everything he says and does for you and the relationship.
4. Prioritize him in your life
Building on what I said above, feeling important is as important as being appreciated. They often go hand in hand.
I encounter many people who are seeking relationship advice and they’re often confused as to why their partner has pulled away.
When I prod into the details of the situation, a common problem I find is a lack of prioritization.
You have to create a healthy balance of time for the important things and people in your life. Just like how you should always make time for your family, you should be doing the same for your boyfriend.
In my opinion, no single person should monopolize 100% of your time.
Of course, there are exceptions, especially if you have a child.
But, even in that situation, you can find a slot of time to make your boyfriend feel like he is a priority as well, especially if it doesn’t conflict with your priority as a mother or family member.
If you’re wondering how to prioritize him, just carve out some time in your day or week to spend exclusively with him.
Focus on the relationship. Don’t be distracted by work or social networks. Be dialed in and pay attention to him. Stay off your phone and let him know that he has your undivided attention.
Related post: 12 Guaranteed reasons why men pull away
5. Pay attention to his needs
Miscommunication is often the top reason why couples go through bouts of disagreements and unhappiness.
Fix the cause of the problems and they will eventually cease to exist. It can be that simple.
I understand that not everyone is good at vocalizing their wants and needs, which is when it becomes important for you to observe your partner and try to pinpoint what he needs to feel good in the relationship.
Start by sitting him down and having a non-judgemental discussion about how he feels and what he needs from you.
Get rid of any passive-aggressive emotions or else it will sabotage what you are trying to achieve.
6. Take care of yourself
Yes, you read correctly! Take care of yourself in order to be a better girlfriend.
How you feel and look as a person will directly impact how you are perceived within your relationship.
If you are neglecting your mental health as well as your physical health, it will spill over into your relationship.
Even if your guy is madly in love with you, that doesn’t negate the importance of attraction.
They feed each other.
The more you love someone, the more attractive they appear to you. The more attractive they appear to you, the more you fall in love with them.
Attraction is influenced by physicality, chemistry, emotional connection, intellect, sense of humour and so forth.
If you invest time and energy into your personal life, it will directly affect your romantic life in a positive way.
Set goals for yourself, exercise regularly, dress well and improve your appearance, study more, spend time with family and friends, indulge in me-time and try to pursue your purpose in life.
Related post: How to get a guy to like you – 12 techniques that work
7. Don’t compete with his friends
Competing with his friends is a sure fire way of creating unnecessary stress and pressure on your boyfriend.
There’s honestly no need to compete with anyone because you exist in a role that cannot be taken away from you by his friends.
If you truly trust and respect him, then you’ll give him the space and choice to choose you.
As a guy, I’ve witnessed my best friend’s girlfriend try to compete for his complete attention by even doing activities she didn’t like.
It was so unnecessary because as friends, we were never a threat to her.
She entered this one-sided competition and it actually became an unhealthy situation for him. Unless he isn’t prioritizing you at all and ditches you to be with his friends all the time, you really have nothing to worry about.
Related post: How to stop being jealous once and for all
8. Ignore men who try to flirt with you online
Loyalty and trustworthiness are two character traits that will serve you well in life no matter the circumstances.
You will never find someone who is criticized for being a good, upstanding, morally grounded person who values relationships.
You’re going to be accosted by men. It’s definitely going to happen, especially online. You probably already know this all too well.
You should deal with this tactfully.
Either ignore those men or ensure that your actions online do not stretch over into the zone of doubt.
If you don’t swim with sharks, you can never get bitten by one.
9. Trust him unconditionally
Trust is two fold in nature. It is received and it is given.
Being trustworthy will make a huge difference in your relationship but so will be trusting.
Many good and healthy relationships fall apart due to distrust. One of my most popular articles is on the fear of being cheated on.
Our fears can make us act contrary to rationality and logic. I don’t blame you. Being stung by the bee of infidelity leaves behind a scar.
But, if you allow that scar to continually infect your thoughts and emotions, it will eventually tarnish the very core of your relationships and your ability to trust another person.
Don’t get caught up in cross questioning, suspecting and accusing your boyfriend of infidelity or deceit if he has never done so before or if he hasn’t given you a single reason to do so.
Don’t project the events of a past relationship into the present because it will bring about the same conclusion.
Trust can only truly be developed and nurtured through some degree of faith.
Acceptance of all the risks attached to loving and trusting someone will pay off by increasing your ability to trust.
10. Be understanding and empathetic
Mistakes and misunderstandings are always going to be a part of any and all relationships.
Even if you have the calmest demeanor or the best skills at communication, it is unavoidable and inevitable.
But a simple and empathetic way of countering this issue is to be understanding. You don’t have to ignore what’s wrong or be blindly forgiving.
You simply have to listen and try to relate to what your partner is saying or doing.
Often, finding a way to understand things from your partner’s perspective can shed some informative light on what his intentions are and what he is trying to do.
11. Hold him to a higher standard
Reflecting on my life, I’ve been able to pinpoint phases in which I have drastically grown as a person and they’re often closely tied to those periods in my life when I had someone.
In our generation, men need a push to step out of their comfort zones and to be better.
I strongly believe that we only get what we negotiate for in life.
If you’re allowing your boyfriend to behave in a subpar manner or to accept mediocrity, then you are as much to blame for that as he is. I’m speaking in terms of the relationship.
If and when you feel like he is truly slackening, let him know.
Vocalize what you need from him rather than punishing him for it. That will be a gamechanger in your relationship.
When he is not prioritizing growth and good behavior, let him know. He’ll appreciate the fact that you are looking out for him.
12. Be a little mysterious
Okay, I’ll admit, it becomes difficult to maintain a mysterious aura when you have known someone for many years.
But, it’s not impossible. I think spontaneity goes hand in hand with mystery.
Do something out of the box.
Try an activity you haven’t before.
Shake up the way you do things in the relationship. Don’t text him all day about every single thing you’re doing. Get busy with your life for a bit and let him begin to miss you.
These little tweaks and changes to your behavior as a girlfriend can reinvigorate the relationship and attraction.
Related post: How to be more mysterious – 6 tips that work
13. Allow him to have some personal time
I believe this tip applies mostly to couples who are either living together or around each other on a daily basis.
Time away from each other isn’t a bad thing. It allows people to connect with themselves on a deeper level through self-reflection.
Personal time is also an essential feature in the lives of people who value their individuality or introverted nature.
Having that guilt-free time to be by oneself is therapeutic and cathartic which is why you should allow him to have some personal time. You’ll benefit from this as well.
14. Don’t judge him
It’s hard to reserve judgment, especially when we all have some degree of opinion on matters of the world and life around us.
I think there’s a fine line between keeping your partner on the right path through advice and constructive criticism compared to judgemental remarks.
The former is useful whereas the latter can be destructive.
Once you create an environment of judgment, people tend to close up. That’s counterproductive to a relationship.
The more open and honest your boyfriend can be with you, the better it is for the relationship.
15. Compliment him
Men love to have their egos inflated. It’s just the truth. And even if they didn’t, compliments feel good, especially when they are given by someone we love.
You may notice that during the courtship, complimenting each other is a key factor in the development of fondness.
I’m speaking specifically about compliments that are genuine and inspired by true admiration.
Don’t stop complimenting him just because you have in the past.
Even though he should know that you admire and love him, vocalizing that from time to time will always be appreciated and noted.
16. Nurture him when you can
I know some men and women cringe when they read this but I believe it to be true. Men respond positively to traits which they identify with from their mothers.
Being nurturing is one of those attributes in women that men tend to love.
I know we live in a time when there’s so much of opinions about what and how a woman should be. And I respect that.
But, you must consider the reality of marriages and relationships in this day and age. People are not getting married as much as they used to.
Additionally, of those who marry, almost 40% of those marriages end in divorce.
From the remaining 60% of marriages, we can only guess what percentage of those couples are truly happy, in love and fulfilled.
I don’t bring this up to scare you or to be a negative nancy.
I just want to illustrate the issues we face today and how they can be tied to public opinion. Just because there are so many opinions out there, doesn’t mean they’re all going to apply to you nor are they going to benefit you.
As far as we can tell, the ‘stereotypical’ traits of femininity such as softness and nurturing have a causal link with successful relationships.
Make no mistake about it, being soft and nurturing does not conflict with being a strong, independent, self-sufficient and empowered woman.
Just don’t take relationship advice from people who don’t have the kind of relationships you want.
17. Make him feel needed
While we’re on the topic of stereotypes, one that is arguably common is men having a hero complex.
I actually think there’s serious merit to this. Whenever I’m really into someone, I want to save them in times of need.
Feeling like I can fix a problem or help you out makes me feel more like a man. It’s empowering.
Even if you’re completely strong and capable enough to handle any situation, play the damsel in distress from time to time.
Let your boyfriend get his fix of the hero complex. It will get his ‘testosterone’ pumping and make him feel needed.
Related post: How to make him want you
18. Don’t compare him to other guys
Comparison is the greatest thief of joy.
We live in an age where our measurement for happiness and fulfillment comes from social media. It shouldn’t be that way!
Most of us are aware of how everything is sugar-coated and ‘filtered’ to be better than reality.
And yet, because of our involvement, we struggle to disassociate reality from the facade of social media.
Because we are constantly exposed to this stuff, we have become more susceptible to comparing our lives to that of others. It reaches a point where it’s out of our control.
And that is ridiculously dangerous for our mental health.
Jealousy can have a positive impact on attraction.
But, only in controlled, playful and measured situations.
When you insert any seriousness to your comparison, it can have devastating effects on your boyfriend’s mental health and security within the relationship.
An insecure boyfriend quickly becomes a suspicious, controlling and anxiety-ridden one.
For the most part, it’s not your responsibility to make someone be secure.
But, on the flip side, don’t do unnecessary things that have the consequence of making your boyfriend feel less than good enough.
19. Avoid talking about ex-partners too often
If you and your boyfriend are comfortable and unaffected by talking about past relationships, more power to you.
But, if that isn’t the case and he becomes visibly upset or it tends to become a reason for arguments, just avoid it.
I get the argument in favor of being able to share details of our lives from the past and how it can be viewed as immature to freak out about it.
But, why bother with it in the first place? Ex-boyfriends and girlfriends are in the past.
Leave them there.
Focus on the present moment. I’ve never seen a couple have regrets about not spewing details about their past relationships with their partners.
But, I have seen people wish they didn’t speak about it as much to their partners.
If not talking about it isn’t a big deal to you, then don’t. It’s a small sacrifice to make.
20. Communicate your needs clearly
Once you improve your communication skills, you’ll never have a problem mastering the art of how to be a better girlfriend.
Building on that, your needs must be fulfilled too.
By helping him be a better boyfriend, you will become a better girlfriend.
Not all guys are perceptive enough to translate your body language and subtle hints.
They need things to be laid out as clearly as possible.
Help the poor guy along by stating what you need from him in a clear and distinct manner.
If there’s one thing I know, as long as you are being true to who you are and making an effort to be a better girlfriend, there’s no reason why he wouldn’t be happy or madly in love with you.
It may take some time and effort but it will be worth it, especially if you really see yourself with him long term.
With that being said, I hope you enjoyed this article on how to be a better girlfriend. Please feel free to leave your thoughts or questions in the comment section below.
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