Texting is not a perfect science. I wish it were, honestly. But, it varies among people and you have to adapt to your environment. Be that as it may, there are some unspoken rules that are shared by most people. In this article, I’m going to discuss how often you should text a girl to increase attraction and to avoid being rejected or ghosted.
I would like to introduce you to a concept that has helped countless men to avoid over pursuing, appearing desperate or showing too little interest. It is known as the Match and Mirror technique.
When it comes to texting, I’ve always had an astute understanding of it.
Rarely have I ever texted someone desperately or seemed disinterested.
It’s been relatively easy for me ever since I read a book called How To Win Friends And Influence People.
One of the principles of this book is to show interest because people like to talk about themselves.
So, unless I really was interested in talking to someone at any given time, I wouldn’t text them.
This helped me to strike a healthy balance during courtships and early relationships but as time went on, I’d lose myself in the conversations with my partner’s.
An issue arose when I decided to have a long distance relationship. I got pulled into the habit of texting all the time. This is not healthy for any couple, let alone people who are just getting to know each other.
Texting a girl too much has the potential to create some adverse effects, such as:
- It makes you codependent.
- It diminishes anticipation to meet each other often.
- You end up sharing your best updates over text rather than in person.
- It doesn’t provide space or time for a girl to miss you.
This happened in my relationship and it was detrimental.
I spent so much time texting for so many years that I lost my instincts on how to read a girl’s interest over text.
This became apparent when my long distance relationship ended and I started meeting new people.
That phase of my life was so polarizing.
I learned so much during that time and one of the concepts that I was reintroduced to was the Match and Mirror technique referred to me by Corey Wayne, who has been in the dating and relationship space for well over a decade.
I don’t agree with everything he says but some of the ideas he shares are absolutely accurate and truly beneficial to men and women.
Think of texting like a game of tennis.
When you hit the ball over the net, wait until the other person hits the ball back before you take more swings at the ball.
You need to read this article: She stopped texting me everyday!
What Does It Mean To Match And Mirror A Girl Over Text?
To match and mirror means to mimic the effort of the other person to regain or grow interest and attraction over text.
If a girl texts you every hour, it’s okay to match and mirror that but never more than her.
If a girl’s texts have reduced significantly compared to yours and she only texts you once per day, match and mirror her.
If she starts to show more interest and wants to spend more time with you, start to match and mirror her in that regard as well.
To do this, a man must possess emotional self control and self respect.
Going with the flow and reacting appropriately to the level of interest a girl has for you comes more naturally when you place a good value on your time.
A man with self control and self respect knows when to show up and when to pull away.
He’s not desperate for attention or validation nor is he desperate to make a woman like him.
On the contrary, he’s focused inwardly and is observing the behavior of others to determine if they pass the requirements to be in his life.
When you become a man of value, courtship is easier.
I am of the opinion that every man should be striving to build self respect and value.
That doesn’t come from seeking validation but from earning it through suffering and victory.
In reality, it shouldn’t be easy for you to match and mirror a girl who wants to text you all the time because your days should be filled with valuable activities.
When you are striving to be successful, investing time and effort into your health and fitness, creating a wholesome circle of friends and family, pursuing your purpose and building positive habits, you wouldn’t have time to sit on the phone all day to text someone.
You need to read this article: How to keep a girl interested in you
Quick Summary: How often should you text a girl? Just a little less than the amount of texts she sends to you. The goal is to match and mirror her texting behavior because most people enjoy receiving the same energy they give out. This will prevent you from coming on too strong or being too cold like a wet fish.
The Best Way To Solve Your Own Texting Pitfalls
Are you reflecting on the times that you texted a girl out of liking you?
It’s important that you reflect on these uncomfortable situations in your life because there’s a great deal of lessons personally designed for you within them.
After all, they are your experiences and they will provide you with insight that can transform the way you behave around girls.
There are many times when I’ve messed up a good vibe with a girl or acted out of character and it ruined things.
These situations make me cringe and feel embarrassment but I reflect on them so that I can learn from them.
I’m not saying to fixate on these old events but just figure out what you could have done better, examine whether it’s something that happens often and then experiment with new behaviors to test whether you’re on the right path or not.
Experience is the greatest teacher.
Sometimes, it has nothing to do with how often you text a girl but the content of your texts.
Look at everything with an open mind and allow yourself to be constructively critical.
You’re smart and I’m sure you’ll find solutions to your texting problems.
But, nothing works like experience.
To gain experience, you must try different things and observe the reactions you get from these changes.
As you experiment, you’ll refine your approach until the manner in which you text is a lot more suitable for attracting girls.
Be that as it may, there are a few things that you want to avoid doing, such as:
- Texting a girl all the time without waiting for her to reply to you.
- Constantly expressing your attraction for her.
- Complimenting her unnecessarily.
- Sharing too much of your past mistakes with her.
- Forcing the conversation along when she appears a bit disinterested.
- Asking inappropriate questions.
- Commenting on her physical features unnecessarily.
I don’t want to inundate you with every little thing you could be doing that’s incorrect but these are major turn offs that you need to avoid at all costs.
Be as genuine as possible.
You don’t need to prove your worth to another person.
Ideally, you should be showing up as authentically as possible.
That’s all you have control over.
You need to read this article: 12 Reasons why she hasn’t contacted you in a month
I know how frustrating it can be for us guys to figure out the sweet spot for texting a girl but I promise you that it will be easier as you practice.
If there’s one piece of comfort, it’s this – the girl who appreciates your energy will often match your energy.
Do you see what I did there?
The goal of communicating with a girl is to enjoy yourself and to have a good conversation. That’s it. When you shift the focus towards connecting and learning about the other person, it becomes a lot easier to text and communicate appropriately and attractively.
A great book that I recommend reading is How To Win Friends And Influence People. It has essential communication skills that you will not find elsewhere.
It’s a short read but a game changer that will set you apart from a lot of other men.
With that being said, I hope you enjoyed this article on how often you should text a girl. If you would like more advice on texting a girl as well as a guide on how to get the girl of your dreams, you need to grab a copy of my eBook by clicking here.