It’s scary to learn about how many men talk a girl out of being with them. Far too many men lose sight of what they did to get a girlfriend and resort to overpursuing, needy behavior and clinginess within their relationship. This can have an adverse effect on attraction and ruin the spark you worked so hard to build. So, how often should you talk to your girlfriend?
You should talk to your girlfriend whenever you have a burning desire to do so or when she wants to talk to you. What you shouldn’t do is be codependent and talk to your girlfriend all day, every day without any breaks.
Let me open up to you by sharing my own mistakes. I am someone who spent a long time texting all the time with my ex-girlfriends. When I was younger, I had no understanding of moderation and the dynamic of a healthy relationship.
I’d spend all my time texting, calling and seeing my partners.
What this led to are codependent relationships that didn’t last. It also ruined the excitement at times and prevented a healthy balance of connecting with distance to miss each other.
In time, I learned that there’s a great deal of importance in spending time apart from each other.
Not only does it give the two of you a chance to focus on other areas of your life that are important in helping you become a happier, smarter and healthier individual but it also creates an opportunity for you to miss each other.
By doing so, the relationship remains exciting and the two of you appreciate the time spent together a lot more.
So, for this reason, I hope that you are not spending more than 20 – 30% of your day talking to your girlfriend.
Pursue balance so that you don’t ruin one or two areas in your life by being overly needy, clingy and dependent.
If you’re someone who has only known codependent relationships, it’s going to feel quite difficult at first.
Your anxiety will flare up and doubtful thoughts will try to influence your decision.
You’ll start to assume that if you don’t talk to your girlfriend all the time, she may stop loving you or wanting to be with you that she may cheat on you or leave you.
Thing is, any of those things could happen whether you’re talking to her all the time or not!
It’s happened to me and it’s happened to many people in the world throughout history. This is not just something guys experience either.
If it could happen either way, why don’t you just strive for balance without making your entire existence revolve around one person?
What you don’t want to do is go many days at a time without talking to your girlfriend.
That just seems weird to me and not the ideal way to develop a deeper connection with each other.
Related post: Why does my girlfriend tell me everything she does
When To Talk To Your Girlfriend
Talk to her when she misses you
Recognition and connectedness are things that we desire on a deeper level and it’s important that we make time for our loved ones.
Giving your partner attention and care when she misses you will satisfy that desire she experiences but will also feed the relationship.
You enter a relationship with the intention to give, not just receive.
Throw away all the frivolous or unnecessary stuff and what you’re left with is quality time, genuine care, honesty and respect as the essential food for a relationship.
Love is not passive. It is a way of being. To love is to do or be something for someone. And to love your girlfriend is to be there for her when she desires your attention, provided that it’s possible for you to do so.
This may not require you to drop everything you’re doing to immediately be with her every single time she misses you.
But, you should always make time for her when she does, even if it’s a short while later in your day.
Related post: How to make her miss you like crazy
Talk to her when she needs your support
A healthy relationship weathers both good days and bad days. You should be around for your partner during fun times and during troubling times.
In being reliable, you build trust.
This will deepen the bond between the two of you and encourage your partner to gravitate more and more towards you.
People remain happy and in love when they feel heard and understood in a relationship.
When she wants to talk to you about something, give her your full attention. Whether it is via a text conversation or in person.
You never have to worry about coming across as clingy or needy if your girlfriend is literally asking you for some support.
Related post: How to keep a woman interested
Talk to her when you miss her
The whole point of being exclusive with someone is to BE with them. You should be able to talk to your girlfriend when you miss her without the fear of being judged or coming on as too clingy or desperate.
To me, it’s quite obvious that space is required in order for you and her to miss each other.
This makes it okay and healthy to reach out when you miss her.
What you need to measure is the time it takes for you to start missing her.
If you’re reaching out every hour because you feel as if you’re missing her then there may be a dependency issue that needs to be addressed.
I would like to think that once a day is a healthy amount of time for you to initiate contact and talk to your girlfriend if she hasn’t reached out to you by then.
But, as a rule of thumb, it’s good to let your girlfriend do at least 60% of the calling and texting.
As Coach Corey Wayne says, “If she’s chasing or pursuing you, she’s not dumping you.”
Related post: Should I text her? (pros & cons)
Talk to her when you want her opinion or advice
I’ve noticed that women you are dating want to feel like their opinion matters to you.
Even if you are more than capable of making your own decisions, it helps to ask her to share her opinion and advice.
Gents, listen, if you are dating the right type of woman, she’ll give you the kind of advice or opinion that is in your best interest rather than tell you whatever you want to hear.
You can always trust that she’s going to try her best to guide you to make the best decisions and to grow as a man.
That’s the kind of woman you want in your life and it will be exciting for you to talk to her about stuff like this because she’ll engage you on an intellectual level as well.
Related post: Should your girlfriend be your best friend?
I want to share a little tip with you that is known to help most men identify the right amount of contact with their girlfriends.
If you notice that your girlfriend starts to seem less enthusiastic and distracted when talking to you, then it’s probably because you’re not giving her enough time with you.
On the flip side, if she’s frequently the one to initiate contact, her replies are enthusiastic, she tells you how much she misses you and wants to see you and maintains a certain degree of excitement and adoration, then you’re doing things right.
It is very important to measure a woman’s level of interest and attraction to you especially when you’re in a relationship with her.
Date and court her the same way you did to get her and you’ll do well.
With that being said, I hope you found this article on how often you should talk to your girlfriend to be practical and insightful. If you have any questions or thoughts that you would like to share with me, please do so by visiting the comment section below.