How Often Should I Text My Crush?


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During those early stages of courtship, it’s hard to resist the urge of talking to your crush. You’re excited and absolutely dying to be in his or her presence, even digitally. Which begs the question, how often should I text my crush?

You should text your crush at least once per week. The purpose of your text should be to set up a date rather than spending ridiculous amounts of time trying to make him or her like you over the phone. 

If your crush lives in another state or country, then it’s perfectly okay to text your crush every day or every second day given that you both can’t meet often.

With that being said, let’s talk about some texting tips to make your crush enjoy the conversation. 

Keep it fun and flirty

Positivity, humor and joy have a profoundly positive effect on attraction. For this reason, it is imperative that you focus on keeping the conversation lighthearted, fun and flirty.

Don’t take yourself too seriously and forget about trying to impress your crush. By focusing on having a good time, you will organically create a flow that promotes good feelings to develop.

The better your crush feels talking to you, the more inclined they will be to reach out and get to know you more.

Say some flirtatious things, compliment them in a genuine way, be cheeky and tease them.

Don’t bring up relationship labels

Unless you want to scare off your crush or give them the impression that you’re crazily desperate, don’t talk about your feelings or relationship labels too soon. 

You have a better chance of winning their heart by allowing the uncertainty to create mystery and excitement rather than spewing your feelings onto them unexpectedly. 

When your crush begins to develop a deeper bond with you and they exhibit signs of being interested in dating you, then it’s okay to bring up the conversation of exclusivity or romantic feelings. 

Don’t talk about off putting topics

Certain topics of discussion do more damage to relationships than most people realize. 

Politics, scandals, prejudices and past relationships all have the potential of blowing up in your face and completely turning off your crush. 

Instead, it’s better to focus on getting to know your crush on a more wholesome and deeper level.

Ask them questions that inspire stimulating conversations, particularly on a date. People like to talk about themselves, especially their passions so direct the conversation to those topics. 

The more your crush gets to talk about themselves and things they like, the more they’ll enjoy the text exchange. 

Don’t double text your crush

There are very few instances when it’s okay to double text your crush without looking desperate.

But, for the most part, you should always wait for them to reply to a text before sending another. 

Like a game of tennis, once you’ve hit the ball into their side of the court, you have to wait for them to hit it back.

By being patient during text exchanges, you avoid looking desperate and clingy.

Also, when your crush replies or texts you, there is a degree of comfort and excitement to be enjoyed knowing that they do want to talk to you or else they wouldn’t have reached out. 

Related post: The art of double texting without looking desperate

Disappear for some time

Not many things build sexual tension and excitement like uncertainty. Not knowing when you’re going to receive a text from someone can make you miss them and wait for their message impatiently. 

Being erratic with your replies can avoid comfort zones and boredom from setting in. 

By the time you do reply, your crush may be more susceptible to actually asking you out on a date or accepting your proposal to hangout. 

Related post: how to make her chase you by ignoring her

Increase the frequency of your texts with time

To avoid getting stuck in the friend zone or becoming boring, I encourage people to be scarce at first. 

By gradually increasing the frequency of your texts, it matches the level of growth in attraction your crush experiences for you. 

In this way, you can avoid having to deal with the devastating feeling of watching your crush lose interest in texting you because you spent too much time texting them too frequently. 

What about if your crush friend zones you?

In such an event, I would advise you to initiate no contact or drastically cut down on how much you text him or her. 

This is the only way you avoid wasting much of your precious time stuck in the friend zone and watching your crush treat you like a buddy while they pursue someone else. 

Also, choosing to direct your focus on someone else or away from your crush will add consequences to their decision to friend zone you.

This may cause your crush to reevaluate his or her decision to friend zone you and to take another look at your potential of being a romantic interest.

If you decide to take this approach, the only time you should text back is if they reach out to you again. 

What if my crush stops texting to me?

Allow a week to go by before double texting your crush. Keep it short and sweet. Avoid looking desperate by asking them why they haven’t replied to you as yet.

As a rule of thumb, I would strongly advise you from texting your crush if they haven’t responded to your previous texts.

Even if they are online or liking your social media updates, until they reply to your texts, do not continue texting them.

The last things you want to do is sacrifice your self respect and dignity by chasing after someone who leaves you on ‘read’.

Always remember – conversations are a two way street. Don’t be the only one making an effort to keep it going.

To summarise: How often should I text my crush? At least once per week or every 2 – 3 days and not for hours at a time.

Real, powerful and long-lasting attraction is developed and nurtured via real-life experiences with someone. 

No amount of texting can replace the thrill of being with someone in person. Use texting as a tool for setting dates.

With that being said, please share your thoughts and questions in the comment section below. I hope you now have a good understanding to the questions of how often should I text my crush.

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