How Many Dates Should A Guy Pay For?

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Lately, I’ve been receiving a lot of emails asking me about how many dates should a guy pay for. And here’s the correct answer.

Depending on the woman, you should pay for the first 3 dates before splitting it evenly. In other situations, women expect a guy to pay for every date.

As a rule of thumb, a guy should pay for the first date if he is the one who asked her out.

However, it should come as no surprise that you will meet women who prefer to split the bill evenly from the very first date.


Well, they are independent and self-sustaining individuals who want to pay for their own meals.

They also view this as being fair and it makes them feel less obligated to act a particular way for the guy.

It’s quite refreshing and sexy when a woman offers to split the bill on a date. You don’t have to take her up on it but the offer itself is what counts.

From the very first date, it sets the tone for the dynamic between you two. This isn’t about money. She’s here to simply determine whether you’re the type of guy who ticks her boxes and makes her feel a particular way.

With that being said, let’s talk about why a guy should pay for dates.

1. It shows that you are self-sufficient

Women worry about being with a man who either can’t support himself or isn’t on the road to reaching self-sufficiency.

It may not be a disqualifying factor now but if you’re looking to date with the intention of having a relationship, being able to support yourself is important.

Trust me, with good women, it’s not about the money.

It’s about whether or not you possess the drive,discipline and commitment to be able to pay for a date.

If you can’t, then it creates this dilemma of trying to establish whether you’re capable of being a man who can provide, not just for her but for yourself.

2. You’re removing any doubt that this is a date

History dictates that dates, atleast the first few dates, are paid by the man.

Unless expressly stipulated that any such meeting is actually just a hangout and you’re paying, then this doesn’t apply.

But, given that it is an age old practice that the man pays on a date, it would add another layer of formality to confirm that this is indeed a romantic date.

3. You fulfill the role of a provider (in some sense)

Dating all the way back to the caveman era, it is believed that men fulfilled the role of provider whilst women fulfilled the role of nurturer.

As such, the men would go out hunting in hopes of bringing back food for their women.

By no means are we cavemen but this age old role of provider has stuck for the most part.

Paying for a date creates the perception of you being capable and willing to step into the shoes of a provider for this woman whom you find attractive, intelligent and fun.

And to some extent, seeing you in the driver’s seat will improve the way she views you as well.

4. It’s a kind and sweet gesture

Roles and customs aside, paying for a date is a generous, kind and sweet gesture.

Just because some women can pay for their share of the date doesn’t mean others can.

And not being able to pay for a date shouldn’t be a disqualifying factor, especially if someone is going through a financially difficult time right now or is on the up and coming.

Whatever the situation may be, if you want to completely remove and kind of financial stress or expectations off the table for her during the date, just pay for it.

When she’s in a better space, then the next one can be on her.

But, if you’re planning to form a connection with the possibility of having a real relationship with this woman, what’s the problem with paying for as many dates as you can?

If you can afford to do so and she really can’t, then do it.

How much should you spend on a date?

Whatever is within your means. I know of some guys who pull no punches and take a woman they barely know to exquisite and expensive restaurants on the very first date.

It really doesn’t make that much of a difference. At a certain point, nice is nice.

The quality of the date and the chemistry you share is the two most important factors to consider during a date.

If the quality and chemistry are through the roof, no matter how much you spend, it will have an extremely positive effect on attraction and romance.

Women care more about effort and intention than monetary investment.

Here’s a list of 15 fun dates ideas for introverts as well as a complete list of 50 first date ideas.

Pay when you can

If you’re with someone who is understanding, has a high level of interest and is not opposed to covering her share of the bill, take her up on it.

There’s no need to place yourself in a bad position just to take someone out on a date.

I get it though, you want to make a good impression on her and you genuinely care.

But, if the situation is dire, pay when you can. If she offers to pay, take her up on it.

Obviously, don’t take advantage of her kindness either.

With that being said, I hope you have more clarity on how many dates should a guy pay for.

Just go out there and have fun. That’s what matters most.

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