There’s a ton of us who either wished or currently wish that the person we fall for in high school will be the person by our side for the rest of our life. I remember daydreaming about this in biology class and it was such an intoxicating fantasy at the time. But, let’s finally answer the question on all of our minds, how long do high school relationships last?
It pains me to say this but most high school relationships do not last more than approximately 2 years and the majority of them end once couples enter university, especially if their respective universities are in different states or cities.
I did some digging around and found a list of interesting statistics about the success rate of high school relationships.
It is assumed that high school couples who were married while teenagers mostly have only a 54% chance of their marriage lasting 10 years and presently, there is only approximately 2% of new marriages in North America that are derived from high school relationships.
When examining teenage development in conjunction with relationships, it really became apparent to me that growth actually becomes the number one reason why these relationships do not last post-school years.
How weird is it to associate something positive like growth and development with the failure of relationships!
In most relationships, couples either grow together or stagnate together to remain a team. If one person outgrows the other, it can result in a total collapse of the relationship.
Thankfully, with maturity, communication, spirituality and stability, adults are capable of catching up to each other and growing into people who remain compatible for a long time together.
With teenagers, this development and growth are very erratic and uncontrollable.
Their brains are still growing and developing at those ages so it comes as no surprise to me that high school relationships cannot withstand this growth because there’s too high of a chance that who you grow into is vastly different than who you were as a teenager who fell in love.
Then we also have to consider the fact that hormonal changes influence the development of teenage love whereas adults are influenced more by other criteria and character traits.
Related post: Will I ever find love?
What affects high school relationships
To fully comprehend why high school relationships are not so successful, it would be a good idea to discuss the three important contributors and that is maturity, change in character, distance and communication and compromising skills.
Kids are like sponges and their maturity levels can vary significantly based on their family situation, provisions at home, facilities available for their development and exposure to life experiences such as the death of a loved one.
These circumstances can shape a teenager’s maturity level and we see this even more so with the availability of the internet and smartphones.
Teenagers are consuming information and media that aren’t even meant for them and this can all influence their maturity level.
Learning about divorce, death, sex, drugs, money and so forth can affect a teenager deeply.
When their partner isn’t on the same level, it can create extreme feelings of disconnect which could lead to a breakup.
Change in character
When I think about who I was as a teenager and who I was throughout my 20’s, the difference is jaw-dropping.
My character has gone through many changes and shifts over time.
The way I thought and felt was also fluctuating over the years as I navigated my way through life.
Some of my silliest mistakes were made in my teens and early 20’s which ruined relationships but turned me into the man I am today.
So, it’s safe to say that character development will impact the status of a high school relationship.
Distance caused by college
Eventually, most teenagers reach a point where they have to make big decisions about their future.
Finding a place to study is something that can be unpredictable and high school relationships have to either overcome this obstacle or fail because of it.
When faced with distance, temptation, change of environment, loneliness and new friendships, high school relationships that are forced into long-distance relationships tend to suffer.
As adults, we understand the difficulty of long-distance relationships, most teenagers don’t and when their relationship transitions into one, it can be an overwhelming experience.
I’ve been in more long-distance relationships than I’d like to admit and all of them have failed, unfortunately.
I really wanted to be the anomaly or the exception but it was not the case, despite all the amenities available to bridge the gap or the maturity from adulthood and life.
Related post: 12 Long distance relationship problems
Lack of compatibility
When you’re that age, your taste in things and overall likes is rather simple. You’re not thinking about compatibility in terms of goals, values, morals, lifestyle and so forth.
You’re operating from a space of genuine attraction and interest.
It’s not a bad thing at all and teenagers experience intense emotions of love during this time in their life.
When they reach adulthood and these other compatibility factors come into play, it may become apparent that they are not suitable for each other anymore.
I think this is one of the biggest reasons why a lot of high school relationships last until university before falling apart.
Young love may be sweet and intoxicating for teens but it most certainly will be tested as age and life creep up on it.
As much as the statistics do not paint a promising picture, life is much greater than just a statistical account of events and I know of some high school relationships that have matured into marriages that continue to thrive and grow.
I think the best thing you can do is enjoy the ride and allow things to occur as they will.
With that being said, I hope you enjoyed reading this article on how long do high school relationships last. If you have any questions or thoughts on this subject that you would like to share with me, please do so by visiting the comment section below and let me know.