First of all, you shouldn’t have to prove to your boyfriend that you are not cheating. If someone is with you and thinks you’re a good, loving and loyal girlfriend, they wouldn’t suspect you of cheating.
The next time you ask yourself, how can I prove to my boyfriend that I’m not cheating on him, I want you to remember something – unless you have done something to break his trust like flirting with someone else or lying to him about your faithfulness, he should not put you in a position to do this.
The truth of the matter is this – your boyfriend should naturally assume that you are a loyal person with good character.
If not, why in the world is he with you?
A healthy relationship does not place a burden on anyone to prove that they are not committing a ‘crime’.
On the contrary, there should be an unspoken belief that both partners are faithful. That’s how trust grows.
Remember, innocent until proven guilty.
You weigh the risk and still choose to believe that your boyfriend or girlfriend will remain loyal to you.
Here’s a list of reasons why your boyfriend accuses you of cheating –
- He is insecure
- He is extremely fearful
- He is projecting his bad history on you
- He is overly suspicious
- He has a flair for drama
- He is trying to control the narrative of the relationship
- You’ve done something to break his trust
Unless you’ve done something to create doubt in the relationship, the problem lies with him.
It could be one of many of the reasons mentioned above but that usually means that your boyfriend will have to face his issues.
Before we dive into the different ways of how to prove to your boyfriend that you are not cheating on him, he has to be willing to work on his problems as well.
There’s no point in you taking on the burden of this problem if he isn’t willing to meet you halfway.
If you agree to constantly prove your faithfulness and loyalty without him working on his issues, eventually, you’ll find yourself walking on eggshells unable to be your true self.
Rather than your relationship being a safe space for you to express your truest self, it will be a prison that will inhibit the grandest parts of your soul.
1. Express Your Love And Loyalty To Him
Perhaps at the core of his insecurity or fear is the idea that nobody can or will truly love him.
Although this is an issue he needs to fix by himself, it would make a difference if you were to sit him down and let him know that you are all in.
Even if you assume that he should know it, go ahead and tell him. Sometimes, when we voice things that may seem obvious, it still has a big effect on the receiver.
Be direct with the message.
Tell him that you love him and this relationship means a lot to you. Let him know that he has no reason to worry about you cheating because that’s not something you have any intention of doing.
2. Find Out What It Is That Makes Him Doubt You
When it comes to a situation like this, avoid getting sucked into the blame game.
It would be easy for him to blame you or for you to blame him but if you really care about solving the issue once and for all, zone in on that intention.
Sit down with him and go over instances when he felt overly suspicious of you cheating.
What is it that you were doing at the time? Perhaps the two of you got busy at work or with life and didn’t spend enough time with each other.
Perhaps you both eased off the gas and fell into a comfort zone that resulted in one or both of you feeling unloved or unappreciated.
Alternately, he could have been cheated on in the past and not completely moved on from it or healed.
Worst case scenario, he is projecting his own toxic behavior onto you.
Whatever it may be, isolate the core issue and work on that.
Based on the conversation and factors at play, you will be able to determine whether your boyfriend is battling unfounded suspicion based on his own inner demons or if there’s something you did or didn’t do that may have contributed to his concern.
3. Spend Time On Trust Building Activities
This is a tip I advocate for all couples because it has a wonderful effect on how a couple interacts, depend on each other, act individually and communicate.
These are all essential elements of a relationship that must be developed over time and through effort.
Team sports and activities are fun and reliant on trust.
For the team to succeed, both members must be able to set their differences aside, focus on their strengths, communicate better and work in harmony towards a common goal.
Over time, this translates over to the relationship and gives a couple a lot of the essential tools needed to function on a daily basis.
4. Make Him Feel Involved In Your Life
If it would help him feel at ease, update him on what you’re doing for the day if you are going to be unavailable for an extended period of time.
A quick text to let him know that you’re thinking of him could seriously put his mind at ease.
I’ve read some articles where people advocate making your boyfriend the number one priority in your life but I have to disagree.
There should be a fair balance between family, friends and romantic partners.
Their level of importance varies and they can all be your number one priority in different areas and times of your life.
You shouldn’t have to discard or completely neglect your family and friends just to keep your boyfriend from accusing you of cheating.
Maintain a healthy balance.
I know I went off on a tangent but here’s the crux of it, make your boyfriend feel more involved in your life by running updates or questions by him on matters that could affect him or the relationship.
He’ll feel heard, respected and cared for.
Focus On What You Can Control
At the end of the day, there’s only so much you can do to prove to your boyfriend that you are not cheating on him.
My suggestion would be to focus on showing up in the relationship as best as you can.
Be caring, understanding and non-judgmental. Give him a fair chance to see the wonderful, loyal and trustworthy person that you are.
If after accomodating all his needs and doing everything you possibly can to prove your loyalty, he still doesn’t trust you, then it’s time to re-evaluate the relationship.
Is this something that can be conquered with time or are you fighting a losing battle?
That’s something you should spend a lot of time thinking about.
You deserve to be with someone who thinks the best of you, not someone who doubts and accuses you of infidelity when you’ve done nothing of the sort.
If he refuses to meet you halfway and you’ve exhausted every means necessary to save the relationship, then you have nothing to regret if you decide to break up with your boyfriend.
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