One of the most frustrating situations to be in is when you spend a significant amount of time with a guy, things seem great but when you try to escalate the relationship, he rejects you. This leaves you feeling incredibly confused. He likes me but doesn’t want a relationship, what does it mean?
He likes you but doesn’t want a relationship because he’s obviously uncertain about his feelings. You may have been moving too fast for his liking, he’s still recovering from a breakup, he’s a commitment-phobe or he’s using you.
These are the primary reasons why a guy will reject you but still remain interested, flirty and invested in getting to know you.
In this article, we’ll discuss these reasons in more detail as well as what you can do to influence him to want a relationship with you.
1. He’s uncertain about his feelings
Men are not as dialed in to their emotions as most women. It often takes men longer to understand how they feel as well as what they’re feeling.
Just because you’re ready for a relationship doesn’t mean he’s going to sync up with you.
And that’s okay. This isn’t something that should make you panic or walk away.
As long as he exhibits all the signs of liking you and he has a clear intention of spending as much time as possible getting to know you, there’s nothing wrong in waiting. It took me just a bit longer to feel ready for a relationship compared to my partner.
But, she hung in there and a few weeks later, I was head over heels in love and ready for a relationship.
2. You may have been moving too fast
If there’s one thing I know for certain, it’s that you can force someone to develop feelings on your timeline. It will happen when it’s meant to.
I get it though. You like him and he likes you so what’s the point in taking things slow, right? As much as I can understand the rationale, it’s not very practical or smart.
Do you know that it takes up to 90 days until you get to see someone’s true character?
That’s the longest most people are able to maintain a persona before showing their real selves.
The last thing you want to do is jump into a relationship with someone and then, later on, you learn of a list of things that don’t work for you or that you aren’t really compatible for a long term relationship.
It’s okay to give it time and to move at a slower pace.
When he’s ready for a relationship, trust me, you’ll know. He’ll be glued to you all the time and constantly showering you with affection. Until then, just focus on having a good time and getting to know him better.
Trust me, nobody ever complained about taking things slow enough to get to know the other person on a deeper level.
3. He’s on the rebound
In my opinion, you never want to get into a relationship when you feel the need to be in one after a breakup. You’re trying to substitute someone for another.
It doesn’t ease or erase the feelings you have to deal with from your previous relationship.
It’s far more beneficial to work through those emotions and come to peace with it than to jump into another relationship to feel better.
This is why so many rebound relationships fail. You can’t outrun your own baggage.
Find out if he’s on the rebound because this could be one of the reasons why he doesn’t want a relationship. He could have unresolved feelings from his breakup or he’s still uncertain about what he wants in his life. And this is encouraging him to wait until he’s ready for a new relationship.
4. He’s scared of commitment
A guy who is afraid of commitment or who doesn’t want to subscribe to monogamy is not going to change his mind easily just because they like you.
At a certain point, old dogs don’t learn new tricks.
If it’s just a fear of commitment, then the only one who can help him work through it is himself.
Your only options are to walk away or be infinitely patient with him until he develops the courage or change of heart to be in a serious commitment.
Never do I encourage people to force others into a commitment because that has far too many negative consequences down the line.
The best relationships are the ones that are entered into by two people who are excited to share their lives together.
Related post: Why did he stop texting me?
5. He’s using you
Believe it or not but some of the most charming and magnetic men are the worst people to date. Why? Because they’re manipulative and know what they can get out of a woman without actually tying themselves down.
Guys like this will tell you exactly what you want to hear without actually committing themselves to anyone.
They’ll gain all the perks out of a relationship by dangling a carrot in front of your face whilst knowing that they have no intention of giving you what you want.
Men like this are not worth the trouble.
If you feel like you’re being manipulated, used or lied to, just get away from him as fast as you can. The only thing you have to gain from a relationship with him is heartbreak and emptiness.
Tips on how to make him want you
Now that we understand why he likes you but doesn’t want a relationship, you’re honestly left with just two choices.
You can either walk away or try to make this work. I strongly advise you to listen to your gut instinct when making a decision of this nature.
If you choose to walk away, then more power to you.
Prioritizing your standards and peace of mind is commendable and respectful, especially if you feel like he’s using you or playing you.
But, if it’s one of the reasons that are not deal-breakers, then the following tips on how to make him want you will actually work more effectively than most advice out there.
1. Take it slow
Just because he isn’t ready now or he’s still feeling uncertain doesn’t mean it’s doomed. On the contrary, in time, he may just turn out to be the one pursuing you and excitedly propositioning a relationship.
Don’t be so hung up on relationship labels. When the time is right and if it’s meant to be, the two of you will end up together.
When he’s ready, you’ll know based on the amount of time he spends with you, his level of affection and he constantly plans for the future with you.
2. Give him space to miss you
When you’ve chased him too much or overwhelmed him, the next best thing to do is give him some space to miss you.
Distance makes the heart grow fonder and given the chance, a man will make an effort to be with you once he starts missing you.
It’s fairly simple to make him miss you. Just stop texting and calling him all the time. Don’t constantly try to push him into a relationship and get busy living your own life. This will greatly influence the relationship and your level of happiness.
Related post: 15 proven ways to make a man miss you
3. Focus on having a fun time
At the end of the day, the number one influential factor in whether a guy wants a relationship with you or not is how he feels when he’s around you as well as when he isn’t with you.
If you’re a genuine source of happiness, affection and excitement in his life, you can sure as hell bet that he’ll miss you when the two of you aren’t together.
And when he starts missing you, he’ll be counting down the days until he gets to see you again. This will build anticipation and more excitement. When a man reaches this point, it’s only a matter of time before he wants a relationship.
That’s why it’s far more important to focus on the quality of the time you spend together over the semantics of the situation.
Don’t allow fear, insecurities and uncertainty ruin the time you spend with him.
Everything will work out in the way it’s meant to.
Related post: 10 tips on how to make a man obsess over you
So, if you’re wondering why he likes me but doesn’t want a relationship, it’s probably because of the reasons mentioned in this article.
I know it’s a confusing and difficult situation to be in but I strongly recommend that you remain patient and keep an eye out for yourself. If you suspect something sinister going on, don’t stick around and get hurt.
It’s very important that you prioritize your happiness and spend time with men who are actually interested in a relationship.
With that being said, please feel free to leave your thoughts or questions in the comment section below and I’ll be sure to reply.