You’ve been trying to attract this guy but you noticed that he hasn’t reached out today. You’re worried that something has happened or that he might be losing interest. This makes you wonder, he hasn’t texted me today, should I text him?
No, you should not text him unless you haven’t made any effort to communicate with him or he’s upset with you. To avoid looking desperate or scaring him away, exercising patience will have a tremendous effect on attraction.
Usually, when a woman asks this question, it isn’t because she hasn’t made an effort.
In fact, this is the kind of question I get when a woman has been chasing a guy for a while and the day before, she bombarded him with texts that were either ignored or not replied to with enthusiasm.
When you have been the person who has made all the effort to communicate and now that you haven’t, he doesn’t text, it wouldn’t be wise to text him.
This tells me that you are more into him than he is into you.
The smart thing to do would be wait.
Give it a few hours to see if he reaches out.
Perhaps, wait an entire day before texting him again.
By doing this, he may start to miss you and reach out.
Alternatively, it will give him some space to think about you and not fear losing his freedom.
Additionally, if you were coming across as desperate for his attention in the past, not texting him today will make him start to reconsider his opinion of you being desperate and needy.
As you can tell, if up until this point you have been texting him a lot or even double texting him, being patient and not texting him today could actually improve attraction, make him miss you and reduce any negative opinions formed about you.
There are some instances when it may be okay to text him if he hasn’t texted you today.
We can discuss those later on but for now, I think it’s imperative that we discuss some of the reasons why you shouldn’t text him today and to wait a while before doing anything.
Related post: Why is my ex ignoring me?
Reasons why you shouldn’t text him today
The following are what I consider to be the most solid and realistic reasons why you should not text him today.
They will prevent you from destroying all attraction, turning him off, making you feel desperate and avoiding unnecessary drama or misunderstandings.
1. You’re chasing him
Most of the time, people who ask questions like this have been in a situation where they’re chasing someone.
You wouldn’t need to be thinking so hard about this if things were going well and you knew that he isn’t losing interest.
The fact that you’re nervous or anxious tells me that you’re uncertain about the situation.
And if it’s relatively early in the courtship, this could mean that you’ve invested more of yourself in chasing him than he has.
That’s why, now that you haven’t heard from him today, you’re kind of freaking out and overthinking things.
If this is the case, my advice to you would be not to text him.
I’m not telling you to stop texting him altogether, especially if the courtship isn’t completely one-sided or he hasn’t rejected you.
I’m just saying that you can wait a few hours or a day before reaching out to him.
You won’t lose him in that time, especially if you’ve been texting normally up until now.
2. It will make you look desperate
Building on the reason above, if you have been chasing after him and trying to win his attention or affection, bombarding him with texts or trying to talk constantly is not the way to go about it.
Unless he is the one who is initiating a conversation all day or all the time, it’s unnecessary for you to text him today just because you’re scared or uncertain.
This can be viewed as a sign of desperation, especially if he has blown you off or put little effort into talking to you.
For this reason, I think that you should not text him right now.
Coming across desperately to a guy who has blown you off will not make you appear to be more attractive or desirable. It could have the opposite effect. Keep that in mind.
Related post: Do guys regret losing a good girl?
3. You could come across as clingy and needy
Much like how being desperate is unattractive, so is being too clingy or needy.
It’s not that showing desire is a bad thing.
It’s the effect it can have on your behavior that’s a problem.
You start to act in ways that you ordinarily wouldn’t. You may start forming unrealistic expectations and overwhelm a guy to the point that he feels scared of losing all his freedom.
It would be more productive for you to exercise patience than to text him just because he hasn’t reached out in a few hours.
4. He’s busy and can’t chat right now
The last thing you want to do is reach out only to realize that he still won’t reply because he is busy and unavailable.
This will drive you nuts and the wait will be worse than if you didn’t text him and just waited.
I’ve experienced situations when a woman literally blew up at me for not texting her for a day when I was dealing with a personal tragedy.
That entire situation was awkward for both of us.
I think it would be so much better to just wait for a bit and see if he texts you later on that day. If he doesn’t and you’ve waited a fair amount of time, then reach out.
5. He isn’t interested in you
Lastly and possibly most importantly, texting him when he’s trying to blow you off or avoid you will only devalue your worth.
The fact that he has been making no effort, not replying to most of your texts and now seizing all texting is a sign that he isn’t interested in you.
It’s not worth the effort to chase after someone who doesn’t want to talk to you.
Trust me, the story is completely different when he’s been really making an effort and showing all the signs of liking you.
That’s not the case when most of the chats are of you trying to make him like you whilst he doesn’t seem to care all that much.
Him not even reaching out to you today could be indicative of his lack of interest.
Texting someone who isn’t interested in talking to you will not automatically make them want to.
Keep that in mind when deciding whether to text him or not.
Related post: When a guy doesn’t want to sleep with you
Situations when you should text him
There are exceptions to this case so I’m going to discuss them below. The most important thing to consider is the nature of your relationship with him and the surrounding circumstances.
Based on that, you’ll be able to determine accurately whether texting him is fine or not.
Related post: What to do when someone ignores your text
1. You’re in a relationship
A relationship depends on strong communication to succeed.
But, more so than that, entering a relationship with someone comes with a lot of responsibilities.
Part of your responsibility is to make an effort to communicate with each other.
If your boyfriend hasn’t texted you this morning, there’s really no harm in texting him because you have nothing to lose. It’s perfectly normal to reach out to your partner when you miss them or haven’t heard from them.
I wouldn’t hesitate texting my partner if I didn’t hear from her in a day because that’s not normal behavior for us.
2. He normally messages you every day at that time
I’m not saying that routines are the best thing for courtship but if he’s always the one texting you every day at specific times and this has been an ongoing thing until today, it wouldn’t be a bad idea for you to text him.
This will be encouraged if he made more of an effort to communicate and you haven’t.
In such an event, making an effort to text him will actually show interest in a healthy manner by letting him know that you do want to talk to him and you are attracted to him.
3. He’s upset with you about something
At some point or another, we are all going to mess up. It’s not uncommon for him to not text you today if you have upset him.
It’s going to take some self-awareness to recognize when you’ve messed up.
Sure, communication is essential but people often shut down in times of crisis.
At this point, it might be a good idea for you to text him as this may be something he’s waiting for.
When you do, it will resume the flow of conversation that feeds reconciliation.
Related post: Will he come back?
4. You’re worried about his safety
Lastly, if you’re genuinely worried about his safety and not hearing from him could be a sign that something bad has happened, text him.
It’s no longer about doing what’s attractive in this case and more about doing what’s right and caring.
You would regret it if you felt in your gut that something bad has happened and you didn’t even text him to find out if he is okay.
There’s nothing to be ashamed of in this situation.
If anything, he’ll probably respect and admire you for being so thoughtful.
To summarize – He hasn’t texted me today, should I text him? If he hasn’t texted you today, I think you should not text him yet to avoid looking desperate or needy, especially if he shows a lack of interest in you.
Coming across as needy, clingy and desperate is often viewed as unattractive especially during the early stages of courtship.
Waiting a few hours or a day before texting him again will not harm the courtship. It could, in fact, improve attraction by allowing him to actually miss you.
There are some instances when it will be a good idea to text him.
For instance, if you’re in a relationship, you upset him and you’re worried about his safety.
With that being said, I hope you enjoyed this article on whether you should text him if he hasn’t texted you today. Please feel free to leave your thoughts or questions in the comment section below.