Only women who have a healthy relationship with themselves and a full life understand how to make a man pursue them. If you think that bombarding him with love and attention is going to work, you’re probably wrong. In fact, giving a man space to pursue you might be the best thing you do.
People develop feelings when they are together in person and when they are apart.
But, because we live in a digitally-driven time, most of us don’t give each other the time apart to miss one another.
In fact, we end up texting and calling each other when we are apart.
The problem with this approach is that it cheats someone of their ability to miss you.
They don’t get to enjoy the thrill of seeing you after being apart for a long time. They don’t get to fantasize or wonder about you.
None of this can happen because you’re constantly chasing him.
Men are wired to chase that which they feel is unattainable or that which is considered highly valuable.
When you offer all of yourself to a man who hasn’t done any work for it, he will undervalue what you’re offering.
Think of it as a race. You’re at the finish line and he has to run the track, jump some hurdles and put in the effort until he crosses the finish line to get the prize.
In this case, you’re the prize and he’ll be so taken aback by you because of the effort he put into pursuing you.
But, you’re not even letting him partake in the race.
You’re doing the opposite.
You’re running the race to get him and this just defeats the purpose of courtship.
What you want to do is find a healthy balance of courting him and giving him space to pursue you.
Think of it as a game of tennis and when you hit the ball over the net, give him some space and time to hit the ball back to you.
Make this slight adjustment to your game and I’m willing to bet that your entire romantic life will change.
You just have to exercise some emotional self-control and believe that you don’t have to chase him like crazy for him to choose you.
To put this in a slightly harsh way, exercise some of your self-worth and observe his behavior.
Believe that you are worth the right man recognizing your value and making an effort to pursue you the way that you should be romantically pursued.
With that being said, let’s look at some tips on how to give a man space to pursue you.
Tips On Giving A Man Space To Pursue You
1. Don’t text him all the time
Texting was designed to connect people but too much of a good thing can have ramifications on your life.
It just so happens that texting a guy all the time can not only lead to a codependent relationship but it can also push him away from you.
The truth is that texting has a way of ending anticipation.
Instead of him building enough excitement about seeing you again because he hasn’t been with you in a little bit, your texts reduce that.
He doesn’t get the opportunity to fantasize or wonder about you because you’re just texting him a full breakdown of what you’re doing throughout the day.
Create some mystery and give him some time to miss you by not texting all the time.
Trust me, he’s not going to forget about you because the two of you haven’t texted in an hour.
Related post: Why isn’t he texting me?
2. Avoid double/triple texting him
While we’re on the topic of texting, there’s another issue with texting too much. It has the ability to make you appear to be needy, clingy or desperate.
You may want to know how?
Well, double and triple texting a guy outside of an emergency is one of those cases.
I’m not saying that it’s problematic to double text a guy. It’s not, especially when there’s a need for it or you feel strongly about it.
But, if you’re double texting or triple texting him on a regular basis, it’s going to come across like you’re chasing after him.
This is neither healthy for you nor attractive to him.
If you have no reason to double text him, then don’t do it.
If you’re double or triple texting him because you are in need of constant validation or attention, then you need to reflect on why you feel this way and what you need to fix this issue.
Related post: Does silence make a man miss you?
3. Don’t substitute texting for social media activity
Let’s say that you decide to not text him all the time, that doesn’t mean you will automatically have no urge to connect with him in some way.
More often than not, girls will change the platform and start interacting on social media apps like Facebook, Snapchat and Instagram.
This is unnecessary, especially if you’re intentionally trying to make him pursue you.
You’re still chasing him except you’ve changed the means of doing so and the platform.
Related post: How to respond when he finally texts you back
4. Get a hobby
Trust me when I tell you that it’s so easy to avoid chasing a guy when you have a fulfilling life.
Just because you’re a certain age doesn’t mean that you should abandon goals, dreams and hobbies.
In fact, having hobbies should be a mandatory activity for all people who want to grow as individuals and live a complete life.
Why shouldn’t you be spending your time on activities that feed your soul?
A romantic relationship or a job is not enough for complete personal fulfillment.
For that reason, I strongly encourage you to set aside just 30 minutes per day to do something that you like which doesn’t involve men.
The joy you feel from pursuing your passions will improve your overall energy as a person.
This newfound sense of joy and passion will make you a lot more desirable and he will start to perceive you as a high-value woman.
Related post: How to be happy again
5. End some dates first and on a high note
The best way to get a guy to pursue you is to leave when things are going great.
If you notice something, during a date, there’s a time when it reaches the peak of enjoyment and thereafter, it starts to reduce as the date goes on.
That’s not to say it will happen at the midpoint of the date.
It could happen at the very last half hour of the date but it’s important for you to identify this moment and leave at that point.
By doing so, his last interaction with you is during the best moment. He’ll think about how amazing he felt with you and this will inspire him to pursue you.
This is something that can be applied not only to dates but to text conversations and calls.
Leave before things get dull and exhausting. Thereafter, give him some time to miss you and then initiate contact again.
Alternatively, wait for him to reach out.
Related post: How to make him want you
Giving a man space to pursue you may seem counterintuitive to your at first but ask yourself one question, is your approach of chasing him working?
If it’s not, which I feel would be the case, then you need to consider a different approach.
All I’m saying is that you just have to cut back on how often you pursue him to give him an opportunity to pursue you.
Either he’ll reach out and set a date or when you do reach out to him, he will facilitate a date that you enjoy. The only time he wouldn’t is if he’s wasting your time or not serious about you.
With that being said, I hope you found this article to be insightful, practical and helpful. If you have any questions or thoughts that you would like to share with me, please do so by visiting the comment section below.