The Art Of Double Texting Without Looking Desperate


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I don’t care who you are, where you’re from or what you do, we are all guilty of double texting someone at some point or the other. Is it the best thing to do? No. Is it something you should do? No.

But, double texting him or her is sometimes unavoidable.

Here’s the thing though, you always run the risk of looking desperate.

I hate that but it is a reality.

Despite what we see in movies and read in books, this idea of wearing your heart on your sleeve doesn’t always fair too well in the real world when you start dating new people.

And just by luck, I’m the type of person who wears my heart on my sleeve.

Woohoo! Great stuff!

Now here’s the thing, I am guilty of double texting.

Rarely did it ever work in my favor but I’ve done it enough to minimize or eliminate the potential of damaging my image at all.

Oh, wait, I forgot to cover something important. What is double texting?

It’s pretty self-explanatory but I’ll explain. When you have texted someone and they have not replied or ignored your text, you send a second text in hopes of gaining their attention and a reply.

Hence the term, double texting.

So with that being said, if you’re considering double texting him or double texting her, you might want to spend a few minutes reading this article before hitting send.

What are the negative effects of double texting?

Try to familiarize yourself with all of these points before pulling the trigger.

Why? You ask.

Allow me to explain.

When we are attracted to someone or have strong romantic feelings, our ability to think critically is hindered.

Even if you would normally be aware of how stupid or desperate you may look, your mind will conjure up reasons to convince you that what you are about to do or say is okay.

And because you are feeling emotionally charged up, you will ignore all the warning signs and do it.

Heck, you may even ignore all of the obvious reasons for why an idea is bad if your motivation is strong enough.

Be that as it may, by consulting something or someone who can provide you with an objective analysis of the situation, it might save you from looking weak, desperate, clingy, needy or stupid.

On a side note, check out this article on when to stop pursuing her.

This list of the negative effects for double texting should be referred to before you hit the send button.

  • You may look desperate for his or her attention.
  • Double texting someone who is busy is annoying.
  • You shift the power to him or her.
  • If your double text is ignored, you end up feeling more confused and desperate for a response.
  • You risk the possibility of coming across as clingy or needy.

If you really look into this, all of these negative effects can drastically hinder the process of attraction during the early phase of courtship.

However, I don’t believe this to be the case when you’re in a relationship. I think it’s perfectly okay to double text your partner a sweet message or to check if he or she okay if you haven’t heard from them like you normally do.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with double or triple texting your partner so long as it’s not something you do all the time.

Don’t smother your partner and you’re good.

When can you double text him or her?

After 3- 5 days or a week, you can double text him or her. What you don’t want to do is double text someone who has read your message and you see them online.

Be sure to check out this more in-depth article on how long you should wait if she didn’t text you back.

Double texting is fine when the person hasn’t read your message nor have they been online or active for a while.

In this day and age, nobody goes a day without their phone. Most people can’t spend an hour without being on their phone so chances are such, they are choosing not to reply or they’re busy and can’t reply.

Those are the two most plausible reasons why you haven’t heard back from him or her.

That’s not to say that they didn’t miss your message or text. It’s a possibility. Which is why you never want to freak out on them and take it personally.

They are aware of your text, if they do think about you and have interest, they will respond. If their interest or attraction is low, you may end up waiting much longer than you think.

And sometimes you have to endure the wait because inaction can have a positive effect on attraction in this kind of scenario.

How to double text without looking desperate or weird

What’s more important than the act of double texting itself is what you say because it can make it a problem or actually work in your favor.

Let me relate a story to you.

I was getting to know this girl who I had previously spoken to awhile ago before losing contact. We barely knew each other and probably texted each other for no more than 2 weeks in the past.

We started speaking again after a year and about a week into this, tragedy struck my family.

Obviously, I shared this information out of courtesy and was occupied with the funeral and everything that followed thereafter.

I didn’t text or reply to this girls message for perhaps a day or two.

When I did text her back on the third day, she absolutely freaked out on me. Why? Because she double texted me and I didn’t respond to her.

I tried to remain cool and understanding but she just had a meltdown over the entire thing. She blew her top off and turned into a raging madwoman.

Safe to say, I was turned off her and that went absolutely nowhere because, in my head, she came across as weird, desperate and crazy.

Life happens and you never really know what someone is going through. When you’re just getting to know a person, give them that space to come to you.

Even if you do double text, don’t come from a place of anger, desperation or neediness.

It’s unattractive when you have no emotional bond with each other as yet.

So, keep your text short, sweet and to the point. Maintain good energy and come from a place of endearment.

Don’t send long texts either.

They didn’t reply to your previous text, a longer second text isn’t going to make things any better.

What should you do after double texting?

Do not reach out again. I repeat, do not triple text this individual, even if you see him or her online or active on social media.

At the end of the day, someone who is genuinely interested in you will make the time to reply.

Even if it takes them a few days, they will reach out and check up on you.

By chasing after someone who can’t even text you back, what kind of message are you sending about yourself? Are your standards so low? Do you not deserve someone who is excited or committed to maintaining a good conversation?

I like to believe that people can only treat us the way in which we allow them to. In other words, if someone oversteps or crosses a line, unless you stand up for yourself, they will continue to do it.

You have to set an acceptable standard you are willing to accept in your life or other people will do it for you. And that’s a recipe for disaster.

Wait until this individual reaches out to you. Don’t text. Don’t call. If anything, initiate no contact and move on with your life.

Trust me, you don’t want to be wasting precious time on someone who doesn’t care enough to reply to your texts.

If he or she replies to you, go on as normal. Don’t try to throw a fit or start fighting.

Like I said, you never know what could have been going on in their life.

If what you smell is a whole lot of bullshit, then you can trust your gut instinct and never double text them again in the future if they disappear.

Now you can place this person on the probation list for messing up if they seem fishy or disinterested.

Maintain a positive attitude

That’s the best approach you can take when it comes to dating and life in general.

Sometimes you may feel compelled to double text and that is perfectly okay.

Don’t beat yourself up for doing something that feels right to you. Especially if you are someone who is considerate, compassionate and invested in making an effort with people.

At the end of the day, the right person isn’t going to be put off or completely turned off just because you double texted them.

If anything, they may find it sweet and endearing if there is a mutually strong attraction between you two.

With that being said, let me know your thoughts in the comment section and share some of your weirdest texting stories too.

Don’t forget to check out the book!

Before you go, make sure you check out my awesome book “How To Level Up From Being Single To Dating The Girl of Your Dreams!.” It’s a jam-packed, 25 Thousand word guide filled with the best advice and strategies on getting beautiful women to fall for you.

2 thoughts on “The Art Of Double Texting Without Looking Desperate

  1. Awesome blog/article!

    I’m in the situation where I double and triple texted the guy I think I am dating. We did make it official but yeah. We just don’t see each other or talk to each other often enough. He’s a health worker so during the pandemic I would give benefit of the doubt that he is really busy. Last time he answered me was Christmas lol I texted him 4 days later and then again on New Year’s Day. But I am deciding on stopping my texts.

    I just wish him encouragement when I do text. So it’s not in demand of a convo. More like “hey you got this!!!” So I personally ally don’t feel it’s double texting but whatever lol but yeah! Will see how it plays out! A piece of my mind and heart did go with the silence. And it totally sucks.

    Thanks for your advice!

    1. Hey Danica, I’m glad you found this article to be useful. Understandably, it’s really a tough time with Covid but I would probably stop texting him because surely he can’t be so busy that he can’t return a text after so many days. Stay strong and don’t settle. Remember, you deserve someone who is excited to talk to you.

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