Don’t Text Him And He Will Text You


don't text him, why you should not text him, reasons why he will text you if you don't text him, don't text him and he will text you

Would you believe that a simple and great way to determine a guy’s level of interest in you is by not texting him? It actually works. If you feel like he is losing interest and doesn’t reply much, then this is a great strategy. Don’t text him and he will text you. It’s that simple.

This works in cases when he actually did like you and find you attractive but lost interest due to some reason.

Say, for instance, the reason why he lost interest in you and stopped replying to your texts is that you over pursued him and came across as desperate. 

Rather than chasing him and blowing his phone up with more texts, do the opposite. Don’t text him and he will text you because the fear of losing you and the sudden change in your behavior will make him feel unsettled, anxious and confused.

If he actually cares or still has some degree of interest in you, he will text you.

At which point, you can reply in a manner that maintains interest and sets the stage for an attraction rebound. 

Related post: How long does it take for a guy to regret dumping you?

Why you need to stop texting him to make him text you

The idea behind this principle is simple – some men do not realize the value of something or someone until they lose it, even temporarily.

For this reason, stepping back and initiating a mini no contact experiment can have an incredibly positive effect on his level of attraction and interest in you.

I want to be brutally honest with you about texting and I hope you pay heed to what I’m about to say. 

Showering a man with your attention and affection before he does anything to earn it can make you look desperate. 

This is especially true in cases when he didn’t hit on you outright and made an effort to pursue you during those early days of courtship.

So, texting him all the time and trying to win him over when he has a clear disinterest in you right now is not the solution.

Think about this for a second – Albert Einstein once said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

Related post: Do guys notice when you stop texting them?

Signs you are chasing him and why you need to stop

Look back on your history of dating, specifically instances when a guy stopped texting you or lost interest and try to identify whether you chased him or not. By chasing him, I’m referring to the following behavior – 

  • Double texting him all the time.
  • Constantly complimenting him in hopes of getting his attention.
  • Texting and calling him to meet even when he blows you off. 
  • Commenting and liking all of his social media posts to win brownie points.

These behaviors usually present themselves in situations when you are the pursuer and chaser. 

On one hand, it’s perfectly normal for a girl to text and call up a guy more than he does, provided that he has an active interest in her and the courtship is going well.

That’s perfect.

It simply means that the two of you can’t get enough of each other.

But, when this behavior is completely isolated to one party, that usually represents an imbalance in the level of attraction and interest between the parties involved.

As a guy, I can tell you with certainty that we will make an effort to text, call or meet you if there’s a base level of interest.

You will not find us ignoring your texts regularly, answering with one-word answers, not flirting with you, being cold and not asking you out if we actually want to be with you.

All of these are considered signs that a guy doesn’t like you, is angry with you or has lost interest with you.

Either way, they’re not good. 

If you have picked up on these signs and your response has been to act like nothing’s wrong or to chase after him, then that tells me that you don’t understand the semantics of this situation.

Apart from him being angry with you, the other two issues call for self intervention. 

By this, I mean that you have to face reality and accept that this situation is not going well and you need to back off.

If you keep chasing him with texts and calls or social media activity, it will keep pushing him away and it will drive you crazy because you are investing so much of yourself into winning him back.

By doing more, you’re accomplishing less and investing so much that it’s becoming harder for you to walk away.

The problem is that not walking away temporarily is adding more fuel to the fire. 

It’s making the situation worse. 

I know it seems counterintuitive to stop texting him right now but trust me when I tell you that attraction is not clear-cut and so logical. 

Okay, so, I’m hoping by now that I’ve helped you recognize the signs he lost interest, why he lost interest and the signs that you are chasing him.

Additionally, I hope that you understand why it is imperative that you back off and not text him because he will text you.

Related post: How to know if a guy likes you through text

What happens when you don’t text him

Allow me to shed some light on what happens when you don’t text him and the effect it has on his level of interest and attraction for you. 

Let’s also touch on how this will affect your mind and heart in a positive manner as well as prevent you from doing things that you may regret in the future.

Related post: He hasn’t texted me today, should I text him?

1. He starts to miss you

Like I said earlier, when you stop texting a man and giving him all of your attention, it will leave a void behind. 

If he has a base level of attraction or interest in you left, the silence from not texting him will be deafening.

He’ll start to think about you and notice that you’ve disappeared.

At which point, the loss of your attention will make him consider its value in his life. Thereafter, it’s only a matter of time before he starts to miss you.

And when he misses you, that’s when he is most likely to text you and be more appreciative of you. 

Related post: How to make him miss you like crazy

2. He rethinks his opinion of you

During that time when you stop texting him and he starts to think about you, the fact that you stopped chasing him will cast doubt over his opinion of you.

If his opinion of you was that you’re desperate or dying to be with him and easy to get, the opposite thought or opinion will not take root in his mind. 

To put this simply, you’ll start to appear more confident and attractive to him because you stopped chasing him desperately. 

Only a woman who values and respects herself would choose to walk away like this. 

And so, he’ll start to think of you as a high value woman and that will be wonderful for attraction. Thereafter, he will text you.

3. You gain some control over the situation

During that phase when you’re texting or calling a guy who is losing interest or has lost interest, it feels terrible, right?

You’re probably struck with daily doses of uncertainty, fear, anger and sadness. 

It feels like you have no control over the situation or yourself because you’re also dealing with conflicting feelings within yourself on what to do or how to deal with this situation.

Making the decision to stop texting him will remove a lot of that uncertainty. 

You may feel terrible during the first few days but soon after that, you start to see things for what they are. 

The realization that life goes on and you still have a life to live even if he’s not around can be empowering. 

And so, you no longer have to feel like a mouse on a wheel, running aimlessly and continuously without much of a choice. 

4. It gives you space and time to consider your feelings

One of the reasons why it’s so hard to stop texting a guy in this situation is because rejection, in most forms, breeds obsession. 

Paired with your own feelings for the guy, it heightens everything and creates this narrative that you NEED to win his approval and gain his attraction. 

In reality, you don’t need to do that. 

You don’t need a guy who doesn’t find your attractive, smart, intelligent and so forth.

When looking for a partner, don’t you think to yourself that you want a man who treats you well, sees your worth, finds you attractive, appreciates you and loves you? 

Isn’t that your idea of a catch?

So, now, why allow yourself to chase a guy who doesn’t meet those standards? It’s not because he’s the perfect guy for you. 

No! It’s because of the effect rejection has on our confidence, self esteem, psyche and overall desire to be wanted. 

By not texting him, he will text you if he actually cares even a little about you but more importantly, it gives you space and time to consider your feelings for him rather than the effects of rejection. 

5. It sheds some light on the reality of the situation

The way this tactic works is that it brings about one of two results.

Either he texts you or he doesn’t. 

If he texts you, it indicates that he still has some interest in you. If he doesn’t, it means that he doesn’t care.

The former provides some hope whereas the latter brings about an end to an unhealthy chase. 

Either way, it will bring about some form of conclusion to this situation.

And in the end, come what may, you won’t regret doing this because it can earn you a chance to do things right by reattracting him or it will prevent you from wasting any more time on a man who never had real interest or attraction in you. 

How long should you not text him for?

If you feel like the situation is really bad and he barely has any interest left, don’t text him until he texts you. 

Wait for as long as it takes. 

If the situation isn’t nearly as bad as this and you just want him to text you a bit more, then don’t text him for a day or two. 

He’ll probably reach out by then or when you get back, he’d have missed you because things aren’t actually bad between the two of you. 

However, in the latter case, I really don’t think you even should be doing this before having a conversation with him expressing your needs. 

Do it if he doesn’t take heed to any of your suggestions to make a bit more of an effort. 

Avoid immature behavior. Don’t just do this to punish him or get your way. Respect and communication are more valuable than this, especially in a relationship.

In conclusion

With all of that being said, we’ve reached the end of this article on ‘Don’t text him and he will text you.’ 

I hope that the arguments which I have presented in this article have convinced you to not text him for a while to undo the damage of over chasing him or ruining attraction.

Space and silence can provide enough breathing room for two people to move beyond problems and to miss each other.

If you need personalized coaching or help, please check out my Coaching and Services page for more information. I’d be more than happy to help you through a situation like this.

Lastly, I’d like to leave you with the following quotes. 

Two things you will never have to chase: True friends & true love.” ― Mandy Hale

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