After getting dumped or going through a tragic breakup, it’s not uncommon at all that you want a chance at getting your ex back which often leaves you wondering, does no contact work on women?
Yes, no contact does work on women. In fact, it can work on anyone provided that you shared a strong bond and connection with your ex which wasn’t severed by infidelity, abuse, or deceit.
Most men make the mistake of chasing after their ex with grand gestures and constant messages in hopes of changing her mind.
I understand why. The idea of doing nothing and losing this person who now appears to be ‘the one‘ scares you.
But, in reality, that’s not how it works. If anything, all your action will lead to a complete annihilation of attraction.
Right after being dumped, the best action to take is no action at all. Inaction is what prevents you from ruining your chance of getting your ex back.
That’s where the no contact rule comes into play.
I’ve written about the efficacy of the no contact rule before but let’s take a more detailed look on it.
Why the no contact rule works on women
When someone decides to end a romantic relationship, they are exercising their unilateral ability to change the terms of a relationship. It’s a power move.
This obviously applies in cases when both parties don’t agree to breakup. Usually, there’s a dumper.
Given that the dumper changed the terms of the relationship, often, it is the dumper who holds all the cards.
This is only true if the party who was dumped proceeds to chase, beg and plead with their ex to take them back.
The only power move left for the person who was dumped is to walk away and initiate the no contact rule.
Rather than fall into the trap of comforting your ex by chasing her, you opt to walk away completely and leave her with no information on how you’re doing or feeling.
Both parties to a breakup will experience separation anxiety, doubt, pain, confusion and loneliness.
It’s an inevitability for any significant relationship that ends.
By walking away and initiating no contact, suddenly, you have some power because the only way your ex has the possibility of talking to you or getting you back is by reaching out.
When your ex reaches out, you are now in the driving seat of where the relationship goes.
Most exes reach out when they are uncertain of their decision, suffering from separation anxiety, miss you, or want to get their egos stroked hoping that you’re sad and desperate to get back with them.
Nobody can hold onto heightened feelings for a prolonged period of time. Breakups are usually inspired and followed by heightened feelings.
So when those feelings die down after some time has passed, your ex is going to start reflecting on the memories of your relationship and the residual love she has.
The fact that you aren’t around will create a sense of anxiety and concern for why you haven’t reached out at all.
She may even consider the possibility that you moved on or don’t actually care as much as she thought.
This will often result in her feelings being triggered to the point where she can’t resist reaching out to talk.
How to use the no contact rule on women
If you have been dumped or rejected recently, simply stop communicating with your ex.
Even if you have been chasing after her, just leave her with the following message or any variation – “I’ve been thinking it’s best that I try to move on with my life now. You’re a great girl and thanks for the memories. If things change, feel free to reach out. Take care and keep well.”
Leave it at that.
Say your piece and move on. If you’ve said too much already, it’s okay to say nothing at all and carry on with your life.
The idea behind no contact is to prevent you from diminishing yourself self-worth and dignity from further rejection or embarrassment.
More important, it’s a rule that emphasizes the importance of moving on.
No contact was not originally designed to help you get an ex back.
Despite the coaches or gurus who claim that the no contact rule should be initiated for just 30 days before reaching out, it’s actually meant to be used indefinitely.
The no contact rule is more about you than your ex.
It’s not about waiting patiently for your ex to realize that they need or want you back.
The time spent on no contact is meant to be used for self-development and progression into single life.
If your ex comes back, great! If she doesn’t, great! It doesn’t matter.
The whole point of no contact is to focus on moving on with your life instead of wasting precious time you can never get back on someone who willingly left your life.
Focus on what’s best for you during no contact.
What should you do during no contact?
Don’t call, text, react or engage with your ex on any platform or in anyway at all.
If you happen to see her in public, go on with your life as normal. Greet, wave and keep moving.
Do not show any signs of suffering. Don’t let her peak inside your brain. Especially if you’ve been dumped.
Your main priority during this time is to focus on your own well being.
Don’t like any of her social media posts. Don’t comment on statuses. No communication means no communication whatsoever.
Build that anticipation.
You don’t need your ex selfishly contacting you to soothe her aching heart without actually having any intention of actually coming back. She needs to reach a point of actually being incredibly uncertain and confused about the breakup.
That’s when you can actually interact with her.
Usually, I don’t reply immediately after an ex reaches out after no contact. Let the call ring off or allow the message to sit for a few hours or even a few days.
This only makes her think and miss you even more!
In fact, she may even reach out again claiming to be concerned since she hasn’t heard from you in a while.
At which point, you can communicate with her in a positive and emotionally controlled manner.
The point of your interaction ought to be simple, fun and upbeat. Avoid bringing up the breakup and focus on determining whether there’s genuine attraction, feelings and chemistry still remaining.
If so, offer to hangout. Set a date, meet and focus on having a good time.
Chances are such it will lead to more or you’ll decide that it’s really not worth your time and the breakup was actually what both of you need.
To sum it up
Yes, no contact works on women just like it works on men.
After a breakup, initiate no contact as soon as you can. That includes no social media interaction with your ex at all until they reach out to you.
During that time away, focus on actually moving on after the breakup. Spend as much time as you can healing from the breakup and becoming a better man who is living his best life yet.
Hit the gym, meet friends, build new habits, focus on your career, process the breakup and hang out with other women.
Now is the best time to focus on your own well being and happiness.
I really hope you found this article to be of some assistance to you. Be sure to share your thoughts and experiences of the no contact rule in the comment section below.
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