The normal reaction after a breakup is to panic and react out of fear of loss and desperation. What I’ve learned is that it is far more effective to respond rationally and with calmness in such a situation to improve your chance to move on or re-attract your ex. This is where no contact comes into play and in this article, we’re going to discuss the following, does no contact work if you were just dating?
Absolutely! No contact does work if you were just dating and is actually one of the best ways of moving on or re-attracting someone, irrespective of the type of romantic relationship in question. It is essentially a means of taking some control over a breakup when you have been blindsided or given no option in the matter.
If you’re going through a breakup right now and you’re struggling with the idea of no contact, allow me to explain everything you need to know about it and why it’s so effective.
I know how incredibly painful and difficult it is to walk away from someone you love altogether, even if they are the ones to end the relationship.
But, there’s a great deal of merit behind no contact and I hope that it proves to be effective for you, as it has been for so many people like myself.
With that being said, let’s dive straight into this article on does no contact work if you were just dating.
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How To Use No Contact To Get Your Ex Back
The principles of no contact are fairly simple.
You just have to eliminate all contact with your ex on any platform until he or she contacts you with the intention of rekindling the romance or you move on.
In that time, you should be focusing on feeling your emotions and moving on from the breakup while improving yourself.
By doing this, you will maximize your ability to either attract someone better or to re-attract your ex because you will appear to be more confident, collected and composed if and when they come back.
During no contact, you should not be liking or commenting on anything your ex posts on social media.
If they leave a comment on your stuff or like them, do not react.
Additionally, do not reach out to wish them for any occasion or event except for the passing of a loved one, if you so wish.
Related post: What is the indefinite no contact rule?
When Is No Contact Most Effective?
Typically, when you’ve been dumped, no contact proves to be the most effective solution because it gives you some control over the situation, it prevents you from appearing to be desperate and it gives you the space to process your emotions.
Most of the time, guys and girls ruin their chances of re-attracting an ex because they act on their emotions after breaking up.
You may think that you’re doing something positive by displaying your undying love but in reality, it’s pushing your ex away and making it appear as if you’re desperate and clingy.
Someone with a good sense of self-worth will not chase after a person who chooses to walk away from them.
That is very attractive because it’s interpreted as a sign of strength and power.
Right now, the dumper has an opinion of you that doesn’t motivate them to be with you.
Doing more of what led you to get dumped isn’t going to change anything.
You need to take a step back by using no contact and do not make any effort whatsoever to convince this person that they should give you a chance.
If you’ve done nothing wrong, why do you need a chance?
A chance to do what?
Prove your worth?
If someone can’t see your true worth or sees it but doesn’t feel it’s good enough for them, let them go.
You don’t have to prove anything to them.
It’s diminishing to give someone more importance in your life than yourself.
You have to take care of yourself before you’re in any position to take care of someone else.
And you sure as hell aren’t going to have a great relationship if you’re busy trying to prove yourself to someone else when they’re dismissive of you.
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Will No Contact Help Me Get My Ex Back?
Yes, it will depend on whether they have some degree of doubt about ending your relationship and if there’s a base level of attraction that remains.
Additionally, their ability to process emotions, deal with change, adapt to loneliness and success at dating new people will also influence how likely they are to come back to you while you’re using no contact.
If you really analyze most couples who break up, what you’ll find is that chasing after an ex and not using no contact at all doesn’t produce as good results.
No contact, on the other hand, tends to increase the number of couples who end up reconnecting, at least from my own perspective and observation.
The only time I would say that no contact isn’t a good idea is if the primary reason why someone ended a relationship with you is that you made no time for them and behaved like a cold fish.
In that case, making an effort and proving that you care about them will actually work in rebuilding attraction.
Related post: Is it possible to get your ex back?
How Long Should I Use No Contact?
For some reason, there’s a narrative that has been marketed towards people who are desperate to get their ex back that no contact can work within a set amount of time.
The 30 day no contact rule seems to be a popular topic of discussion but from what I’ve experienced and studied, it doesn’t work like that.
Sometimes, an ex may reach out to you within 30 days but their intention is simply to get a quick ego boost or some comfort knowing that you’re still pining over them.
It may not even be intentional but that tends to be what happens.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that an ex may not come back and ask for another chance within a few days or weeks.
This can and does happen at times, especially when your ex has a history of breaking up impulsively or out of anger only to come back asking for things to return to normal.
But, what I would advise people to do is to use no contact for as long as it takes for you to process the breakup, potentially move on or for your ex to contact you with the intention of discussing their decision to break up and to try again.
This could take a few weeks or a few months or even a few years.
There’s really no time limit for when someone may decide to enter your life again and try to rekindle the relationship they walked away from.
For this reason, you shouldn’t use no contact as just a tool for getting your ex back.
It’s a waste of time to sit around and wait for your ex to come back.
That’s going to drive you insane and keep you locked firmly in the past.
The problem with looking back at the past for too long is that you can get stuck back there while everyone is moving forward, including your ex.
Here’s another reason why you want to focus on processing your feelings during no contact, you’ll appear more confident and attractive if and when your ex reaches out to you.
If you don’t put in the work to move on or improve, nothing would have changed and your ex will smell how desperate you are from a mile away.
If they don’t, I’m willing to bet that you’ll come on too strong or talk your ex out of being with you again because you didn’t get in control of your feelings because you approached no contact as a waiting game.
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Just to summarize, does no contact work if you were just dating? Yes, it does work and is an effective tool for getting your ex back but it also helps you to move on and process your feelings if they don’t come back.
It will require a great deal of patience and emotional self-control but you’ll feel so much better by doing so.
Think about this, would you rather be chasing after your ex and eventually getting ghosted or rudely rejected again or would you rather make the choice to walk away while leaving the door open?
At least, the no contact rule gives you some control over what’s happening instead of just letting your ex friendzone you when that is something that you don’t want.
With that being said, I hope this article on does no contact work if you were just dating was insightful, helpful and a source of value. If you have any questions or thoughts on this subject, please feel free to share them with me in the comment section below.