One of the most common questions everyone asks themselves after a breakup is this: Does my ex think about me? Here’s the truth.
If your ex spent a significant amount of time with you, still has some attachment or attraction and is a sentimental person, then your ex does think about you. It may not be all the time, but he or she will think about you from time to time or when they are reminded of you.
Think about this for a second: Have you ever forgotten someone you’ve loved?
I bet that you haven’t.
I can remember every single person I loved.
What makes you think that your ex is any different than you or me?
Unless they never loved you or it has been many decades since the two of you were together, your ex will think about you from time to time.
Even if your relationship ended in a terrible way or you messed up monumentally, it doesn’t mean that your ex will just forget about you altogether.
That’s now how the human mind works.
That’s definitely not how love works.
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Situations That Make Your Ex Think About You
1. When your ex is hung up on you.
Unless your ex never cared about you or lost all feelings for you by the time your relationship ended, they will think about you.
In fact, the average relationship may not even be classified as toxic.
There’s a fair distribution of good and bad memories.
It’s in our nature to idolize that which is out of our reach, even if we were unwilling to hold onto it at one point or another.
The fact that the relationship ended is reason enough for your ex to think about you. That’s a significant event for them as much as it is for you.
It’s highly possible that your value and worth increased in the eyes of your ex because you’re no longer in their life.
I would argue that only a select handful of relationships end amicably.
More often than not, both parties still have feelings for each other by the time their relationship ends.
Sometimes relationships end due to circumstances beyond our control and not due to a lack of love.
In that case, your ex may still be hung up on you and if they are, it’s only natural that they think about you.
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2. When your ex is bored and lonely.
Loneliness and boredom often shine a bright light on our weaknesses.
Think about this.
When you’re by yourself and not consumed by work, socializing or fun, all you can do is think.
You’re going to think about the past, present and future.
If you have not made peace with something from the past, if your present is chaotic or lonely and your future does not appear hopeful, the lens through which you will look at these things will be colored by a negative emotion.
This is one of the reasons why the majority of people drown themselves in entertainment.
It’s a form of escapism to numb oneself from reality.
They are fiercely afraid of their minds and what weaknesses come to the surface when they stop and think.
When this occurs, we tend to reflect on the last time we were happy and it’s often tied to some relationship or another.
Naturally, your ex will think about you because memories of you appear more hopeful, exciting and comforting.
Don’t be mistaken, every new relationship that isn’t insanely toxic products a lot of endorphins. All those feel-good hormones are not something we experience on a regular basis, at least not to the extent that we do when we bond with someone emotionally and romantically.
It leaves an intoxicating mark on us and whenever we reach a phase of boredom or loneliness, our brains remind us of a time when we experienced excitement, joy and bliss.
Most people associate those emotions with love and relationships.
3. When they have been rejected or dumped.
Have you ever heard the saying, “Rejection breeds obsession?”
It rings true for every area of life, but it rears its ugly head in romantic situations in the worst possible way.
You begin to fixate on and obsess over the reason why you were rejected as well as the people who made you feel validated.
Typically, the person who rejected you becomes the source of your obsession but in some cases, that obsession flips toward being loved and wanted.
So, if that obsession doesn’t amount to anything with someone else, you’ll gravitate toward the last person you were seriously involved with.
That’s when you begin to think about your ex.
Perhaps, you’re actually the one to dump or reject your ex and so they will go through a phase of thinking about you and even obsessing over you.
The dumper is usually under the misconception that they can land anyone they want and that the dating market is amazing.
But, what they don’t factor in are all the negative attributes of being single and dating.
There’s no guarantee that you’re going to have a smooth and rejection-free experience when you begin to date after a breakup.
In regards to your ex, when they get rejected or dumped again, that discomfort and bite of reality will make them question their own decision to walk away from their ex.
You need to read this article: His rebound relationship went wrong and he came back
4. When something reminds them of you.
Spend a significant amount of time with someone and you’re bound to associate certain things or experiences with them.
In fact, someone who is married experiences most of their life with their partner.
Your identity gets wrapped up in the relationship and everything can be tied to the relationship.
When that relationship ends, the memories remain.
It takes a long time for your brain to rewire and adjust to this massive change.
For a while, all you have to draw on are your shared experiences with your ex.
Only when you’ve been single for a significant amount of time will you begin to overwrite those shared experiences and remove a lot of those reminders.
Until then, a lot of things are going to remind your ex of you.
From certain movies to a specific scent to even the rain.
You need to read this article: How to let go of an ex you still love
5. When your ex is going through difficulties in life.
Have you noticed how your mind gravitates toward better times whenever you’re experiencing discomfort or difficulties in life?
It used to be one of the biggest issues I’d faced in my life.
Stuck in a loop of nostalgia, I struggled to move on or let go of people who were no longer in my life, especially when I felt unhappy.
Upon talking to many people, I realized that most of us glorify the past.
It’s possible that whenever your ex is faced with troubles and difficulties, he or she thinks about you and how happy they felt at certain points in the relationship.
6. When they are unfulfilled and unhappy with someone else.
An ex who monkey branches into a new relationship or “rebounds” does so without giving themselves the appropriate amount of time to let go of their old attachments.
In an attempt to escape the pain of change or being single, they jump into new relationships without knowing for certain if that relationship is healthy or fulfilling to them.
With time, the cracks in the foundation of these relationships begin to show and when they do, the honeymoon phase ends and reality sets in.
If the issues of those relationships are unignorable or significant, they aren’t going to be happy for long.
At that point, your ex will think about you and compare the relationship they have right now with the relationship they had with you.
You need to read this article: My ex moved on fast!
7. When you walk away and mean it.
If you want your ex to think about you, the best thing you can do to facilitate that is to give them a reason to think about you.
Ask yourself this question: Can or do you think about someone who is always in contact with you?
No, you can’t.
Texting, calling or hanging around your ex will never create the circumstances needed for them to think about you or miss you.
Distance really does make the heart grow fonder.
At the very least, it creates curiosity.
What we know about most people is that curiosity has an overwhelming effect on us.
We can’t help but indulge ourselves in curiosity and that is only possible if we don’t have access or information about something or someone.
Chances are that if you walked away from your ex and meant it, eventually, he or she will think about you and be curious about what you are up to, if you have moved on and how you feel about them.
You need to read this article: How to make an avoidant ex miss you
Without being demeaning or derogatory in any way, I want to ask you something.
Does it matter if your ex thinks about you?
Thoughts alone won’t change much.
Even if your ex thinks about you, it doesn’t mean that you can work with that to win them back or change anything.
Unless those thoughts trigger emotions that push your ex to reach out, it’s really none of your business if your ex does think about you or not.
You have many more important things to think about, my friend.
What are your goals? How do you plan to improve within the next year? What can you do to elevate your mind and heart?
These are the kind of questions you should be thinking about instead of your ex.
Take all that energy you have, all that sadness and loneliness, and channel it towards changing your life or growing as a person.
You have endless amounts of energy at your disposal, use it productively and healthily.
By the time you’ve accomplished something significant within the next year, chances are that you won’t even care about whether your ex thinks about you or not.
All that matters right now is thinking about what you need, what you deserve and what you can do in this world.
With that being said, I hope you found this article on “Does my ex think about me?” to be helpful and clear. If you would like my help with a breakup or relationship issue, check out my service page for more information on how to get an email consultation with me.