Straight after a breakup, it’s not uncommon to witness your ex creating this happy go lucky image, acting as if their life is completely amazing and they aren’t suffering. It’s normal to wonder, does my ex miss me after the breakup?
The answer is Yes, your ex does miss you after the breakup. The only scenario when your ex won’t miss you is if they didn’t love you or feel attached towards the end.
It’s really as simple as that.
Consider this for a second – are you any different from your ex as a human being? No. Have you ever broken up with someone and still missed them thereafter?
If yes, which I’m sure is the case, then what makes this any different?
What you don’t want to do is spend any time looking at you ex’s social media accounts.
Anything you find on there is going to be a fictionalized account of how they really feel.
I’ve seen this far too often.
Given that I’m the chief content creator for this site and do coaching, I’ve dealt with many people who have told me how miserable they feel without their ex but on social media, they actively choose to project a different scenario.
Because nobody wants to be vulnerable or atleast show their vulnerability to their ex and the world.
So instead of showing an accurate account of their life or how they feel, it’s safer to airbrush everything they post.
I get it. And I sympathize with it. A breakup is difficult on both parties, irrespective of who ended it.
How will I know if my ex misses me?
Unless your ex reaches out or someone tells you, there’s really no way of actually knowing.
I remember a time when one of my exes and I broke up, I didn’t hear from her for a while and one of our mutual friends slipped up and told me how much my ex missed me.
And yet on social media, there was no sign of it on any of her posts.
If anything, I was hurt by the fact that she seemed to have moved on without any problem.
After some reflection, I realized that I was projecting how I felt on my ex.
Because I missed her and was showing it in my life, I expected her to do the same. And when she didn’t, then it made me feel further rejected and bitter.
When I heard that she was actually having a rough time, I didn’t feel good about it. This relationship had seen it’s last days. I knew that.
Maybe for a moment I was relieved to hear that I really did mean alot to her but the fact that she was having a rough time made me feel bad and compassionate.
Caring about someone often redirects you to an unselfish place. And it changes you, like it did for me.
So do you really want your ex to be missing you if there’s really no possible future for the two of you?
Be that as it may, if you’ve been dumped and want to actually win back your ex, the first step would be to make him or her miss you.
The best thing you can do is initiate the no contact rule.
It works often and completely destroys any other technique for making an ex come back to you.
Here’s the only caveat – you can’t do it for just 30 days. Despite what some ‘gurus’ claim, no contact should be initiated indefinitely.
When will my ex miss me?
You can’t really predict this. In my experience, these are the following instances when an ex will miss you –
- An ex will miss you often a few weeks after the breakup or when you’ve initiated no contact.
- When they come off the post break up high.
- When normal life catches up to them and they no longer have a support structure.
- When they start looking at the past through rose-tinted glasses.
- When they get rejected or ghosted by new people they were dating.
How long it takes for any of these scenarios to play out is up to the course of life.
Sometimes it takes place within weeks, other times it can take up to a year or more.
If there was a strong connection and attraction between you two and the relationship was relatively good, the chance of your ex missing you is fair.
When it’s been multiple years and the two of you have had absolutely no contact in that time, it wouldn’t be unfair to make the assumption that you may never hear from your ex again because they have completely moved on with their life.
What can I do to make my ex miss me?
I’ve written about the no contact rule extensively but I would simply recommend going no contact after the end of a relationship.
Indifference makes the biggest difference when you have been dumped.
You may feel compelled to reach out, chase, beg, plead and convince your ex to take you back but that will have an adverse effect. There’s no way this kind of behavior will make your ex regret breaking up with you.
Never chase someone who willingly exits your life despite your attempts to keep them in it.
Will my ex forget about me?
Have you forgotten about any of your exes? Can you pinpoint one person you know who has explicitly stated they don’t remember someone they dated?
So then what makes you think your ex will forget you?
Till this day, my grandfather can recall all the girls he dated in his life. So it’s safe to say that the bond shared between a couple is unforgettable.
To answer your questions, No, your ex will not forget about you even if they don’t miss you right now.
What if my ex doesn’t miss me?
As difficult as it is to accept, you have to make peace with the reality that not all your exes will miss you after a breakup.
You can’t force someone to feel the same as you.
Neither should you try because there’s no value in manipulating or forcing someone to value you.
If anything, you should be spending this time trying to move on and make peace with the end of your relationship.
Even though this article is all about whether your ex will miss you, the underlying message is to initiate no contact and focus on yourself.
The quicker you are to shift the focus onto moving on after a breakup, the healthier and happier you will be.
There is nothing to be gained from worrying about how your ex feels after the end of a relationship.
Spend this time working on yourself. If the two of you are meant to be together, another chance to reconcile will find it’s way into your life.
If not, then it’s a sign that you have yet to discover the best love story of your life.
Let me leave you with this – why spend your time trying to make your ex miss me when you can spend this time becoming the person your future partner is destined to fall inlove with?
Sit on that for a while and let me know what your thoughts are in the comment section below.
If you want to maximize the chances of you meeting someone who will not only knock your socks off but treat you in the manner that you deserve, then you need to know what you should look for in a...
When we invest ourselves in people who don’t care about us, we are doing a disservice to ourselves and to the people who genuinely deserve to belong in our lives. But, most of us can’t decipher...