In today’s article, I’m going to answer the following question as fairly and definitively as possible. Does it hurt a man when you ignore him?
Yes, it does hurt a man when you ignore him if he cares about you and has done absolutely nothing wrong or you have unjustifiably iced him out of your life without any explanation. Being ignored by someone we value is always a hurtful or scary experience.
However, depending on certain circumstances, being ignored may be what is necessary for us to recalibrate and adjust our behavior.
I’m not a fan of ignoring people and yet I have written articles that have contained suggestions on when to exercise silence as a response to a person who is being disrespectful, toxic or uncontrollable as a means of saving a relationship or exercising boundaries.
It may seem counterintuitive to ignore a man especially when it’s true that communication is always the preferred method for resolving conflict and nurturing bonds.
But, in life, you will learn that there are instances when ignoring someone is necessary and even an act of mercy.
There are very few situations that call for ignoring someone.
If you’re reading this article hoping that I would absolve you of guilt for ignoring someone who did absolutely nothing to warrant such an action, then you’re in the wrong place.
You’re not going to find a good person who advocates for ignoring someone as a means of manipulation or to avoid being honest and honorable.
We live in a time when ghosting is rampant and people avoid all forms of responsibility by ignoring others.
That is disrespectful and indicative of character issues.
I’m not saying that you’re a bad person incapable of growth. There’s no value in judging others without giving them advice to improve.
But, it’s a bad thing to do if you have no justifiable reason for doing so.
Let me be clear, not wanting to reject someone because it’s uncomfortable or you’re afraid to hurt their feelings are not justifiable reasons for ignoring someone.
It’s not just about the importance of being respectful and caring to others.
When you partake in behaviors that are intolerant, disrespectful and dishonorable, it taints your reputation and character.
The more you do something bad, the less impactful it feels to you.
Something that would ordinarily make you feel terrible and remorseful may no longer create those feelings within you.
You’re going to become someone who can be considered a bad person and I don’t want that for you.
I certainly do not want that for myself.
For these reasons, I have made it a top priority of mine to measure my choices against the code of ethics and morals that I live by.
If I’m clearly looking to take the easy way out instead of the right way, I’ll hold myself accountable and do what’s right, even if it makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable.
Sometimes, it sucks to do the right thing because it’s uncomfortable, stressful and anxiety inducing.
But those feelings are not good enough reasons to avoid doing what’s right.
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Why Do You Want To Ignore Him?
As mentioned earlier, there are instances when ignoring a man is necessary to save a relationship, exercise boundaries or for the wellbeing of yourself and him.
Your reasoning needs to fall within those limited situations to be justifiable.
Allow me to explain.
Let’s say that you want to ignore him for the wellbeing of yourself and him. What does that mean? What kind of situation would fall into this category?
Well, let’s say that he has made a move on you. Unfortunately, the feelings are not reciprocated, and you turn him down.
There’s nothing wrong with that.
You have to be honest with yourself and with others.
But, instead of backing off, he pursues and chases you even more.
So, you try to reject him again or you alter the way in which you talk to him but to no avail.
This pushes you to have a more serious conversation with him about backing off and not chasing you anymore because you won’t change your mind.
Still, it doesn’t work.
He takes no for an answer temporarily and then he resorts back to pursuing you under the pretense of friendship or something else.
In this case, you have no choice but to ignore him.
You’ve been respectful, honest and forthcoming but he won’t listen.
Instead of respecting your feelings and preserving his dignity, he’s sacrificing all of those things because rejection breeds obsession in him.
In such a case, ignoring him is an acceptable decision and it’s not a bad thing.
Now, he may interpret it as a bad thing but your intentions aren’t to hurt him or to do something selfish.
You’re justified in ignoring him because he left you with no choice.
Another example is if you are being taken for granted by your partner.
Perhaps, you’ve made countless attempts to have your needs met and he doesn’t bother to make an effort at all.
All the conversations you initiate fall on flat ears and you’re reaching a point of wanting to walk away from the relationship.
As a last resort to save your relationship, ignoring him may be an option worth exercising.
Sure, it’s not a great thing to do but if he needs a reminder of what he stands to lose, it may be something to look into.
I’m sure he’d prefer that over being dumped suddenly.
At the end of the day, some people overlook the value of what they have in life and take people for granted.
The threat of loss could be the wakeup call a man needs in his relationship.
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Why You Must Ignore Him
There’s one scenario in which I would arguably say that ignoring a man is of paramount importance even though it will hurt him.
If you have no intention of being with him and he is unable to accept it, ignore him.
What do I mean by this?
Let me explain.
If a man refuses to accept reality and he simply cannot let go of his attachment to you despite making numerous attempts to help him move on, you must ignore him.
Ignoring him is an act of mercy, even though it will hurt him.
He’s going to feel rejected and upset. It may affect his confidence a bit. It will paint you in a negative light and in his story, you will be the bad girl.
But, it’s necessary in order to do the right thing for yourself and for him.
Ignoring him will create a narrative in which he can use to move on and get over you.
There’s a way of going about it.
Don’t just randomly ghost or ignore him without providing closure.
What you want to do is inform him of your decision to end all contact.
You’re going to explain to him that his feelings are not reciprocated and that you feel it’s best to end all communication. Because you respect him, you wanted to send this message to say goodbye and to wish him the best.
Then, end all communication.
He’s going to try and contact you but that’s when you have to remain strong willed and ignore him until he stops.
It’s going to be painful, especially for him.
But, if it’s the only way to help him move on, then it’s a necessary action.
It is of utmost importance that you provide him with a message or call that serves the purpose of giving closure.
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Whatever decision you make, be certain of your intentions.
Don’t do something that doesn’t resonate or correlate with your morals and values.
Far too many people are taking respect for granted and it’s only a matter of time before you experience the same kind of treatment from someone else.
We have to be responsible for creating a healthier and more respectful code for communication by changing our own behavior.
Be that as it may, there are instances when silence is powerful and necessary to reinforce boundaries, to remind other of your value and to end someone’s suffering when they are unable to stop chasing you.
With that being said, I hope you found this article on does it hurt a man when you ignore him to be insightful and thought provoking. As always, leave a comment below to share your thoughts. If you’d like personal coaching, please check out my services page for more information on my email coaching package.