You’re fresh out of a relationship and met someone new. You’re excited to be with them but you’re also desperate to move on from your ex. This begs the question, does a rebound make you forget your ex?
Yes, a rebound does make you forget your ex temporarily but for the shortest amount of time. Once the novelty of a new rebound relationship wears off, all those memories, feelings and thoughts for and about your ex will come flooding back in.
It is an impossible task to erase the memory of someone who was once important to you with that of another person.
And to some degree, a rebound relationship aims to do just that.
At first, it’s easy to be consumed by someone else. A new relationship brings with it a lot of mystery, anticipation, excitement and passion. But, like all relationships, these feelings start to reduce with time.
When normalcy takes over and you get used to being with this new person, the novelty wears thin and you are forced to resume some normalcy again.
What goes up, must come down.
You can’t always be in a perpetually excited or happy state. That’s when your demons or ghosts from the past start to appear.
By this point, you will be surprised to find that your mind drifts off into thoughts or memories of your ex or the relationship that has ended.
You may try to resist this but the accompanying feelings of loss, sadness, pain, uncertainty, fear and anxiety will start to infect your heart.
These feelings are usually normal for someone who undergoes a big change in their life such as a breakup.
You can’t avoid these feelings because they are part and parcel of what is required to move on.
If your goal was to jump into a rebound relationship as an attempt to skip or avoid these feelings, I’m sorry but it won’t work.
When you start to experience all these feelings associated with loss and change, thinking about your ex will be inevitable.
So, a rebound will only make you forget your ex temporarily. It’s not a permanent solution.
Related post: Do rebound relationships last?
Why won’t rebounds help you forget your ex?
Have you ever forgotten someone you’ve dated? I know that I haven’t. I remember everyone I’ve shared a significant emotional relationship with.
Our minds are wired that way.
We tend to associate certain people with different times in our lives, certain reminders in real life and so forth.
These are what memories are.
They’re a mental capture of something special that happened in your life.
Trying to erase those mental photographs by dating someone else isn’t the right way to go about it.
What you need to do is break the emotional tie with these memories.
The only way to release an emotional connection with someone from the past or the memory of them is by experiencing the feelings associated with loss.
You have to give yourself ample time to be alone.
By being alone, you are forced to accept change and to rediscover a new identity for yourself beyond the one who shared a relationship with your ex.
By the time you are completely happy with being single, you would have made so many changes to your life and experienced so much personal growth that you no longer feel attached to your ex or the thought of them.
At that point, you have freed up emotional space to find someone new.
The less emotionally attached you are to someone or something, the less you are going to think about them.
And because you’re not forcefully trying to forget your ex, it will be easy to focus on someone else for a long period of time with no issue.
That’s the problem with rebounds.
It tries to skip an essential phase that cannot be substituted or bypassed.
You’ll provide a false sense of relief for yourself.
Unfortunately, this will make the aftermath of your break up 10x worse because you’ll suddenly be thrust into a world of emotional pain when all those feelings and thoughts come rushing back in.
Related post: Do rebounds make you miss your ex more?
You can’t be in love with two people at the same time
This is an important concept to grasp. Where your heart goes, your mind will follow. Rebound relationships are not necessarily love-based for the rebounder.
If anything, one could make an argument that they’re based on fear of being alone or infatuation.
Those feelings are temporary.
Eventually, your heart will go back to that which it truly still loves. And if you still have strong feelings for your ex, it’s only a matter of time before those feelings creep back up.
When they do, you’ll immediately be reminded of everything you tried to ignore or forget.
By that point, you’ll be thinking about your ex all the time or at random uncontrollable moments.
Then the realization will set in that your rebound relationship might not be something you are ready for or want.
When it can’t help you to forget your ex, the guilt and doubt will set in.
For this reason, rebound relationships don’t last for a long time.
And they definitely don’t help you to forget your ex.
Related post: Why rebound relationships fail
Are rebound relationships healthy?
There’s an argument for the necessity of rebound relationships in helping an individual deal with the pain and depression associated with the end of a previous relationship.
A new partner can offer comfort and a reminder of love that exists beyond that which you experienced in the past.
However, on the flip side, it can also have an extremely negative effect in the sense that you may have to deal with two failed relationships back to back.
An accumulation of heartbreak can cause immense amounts of pain and suffering long term as well extend the time it takes for you to move on completely.
Then, there’s also the risk of experiencing regret, guilt and shame for disappointing your rebound partner.
So, rebound relationships can be both healthy and unhealthy.
The best approach is an honest one.
When you can open the lines of communication with your new partner and offer complete transparency about how you are feeling and what you are dealing with, it can help them make an informed decision.
If they choose to proceed with the relationship whilst offering support as you eventually move on from your ex, you can reduce the risk of your rebound relationship failing or of feeling guilt if it doesn’t.
How to forget your ex without a rebound relationship
The best way to move on from someone is to plunge yourself into the situation you most fear which is being alone.
By being alone, you will find yourself experiencing an array of different and painful emotions.
It will be difficult at first. You may think about your ex all the time and it might be like this for quite some time.
However, this is the worst it will be.
Once you put yourself in this situation and start living through it, you will start to move on.
Life and time start to heal your wounded heart. New experiences give you new things to focus and think about. The work you put into being single helps you to improve and craft a new identity for yourself.
As those feelings run through you, they lose their hold and grip.
In time, they will pass through you completely until there’s barely any left.
Thereafter, it’s only a matter of time before the thought of your ex is a distant memory that pops into your mind once in a while.
And when it does, the reaction you have is insignificant and you are able to carry on as if it has no impact on you whatsoever.
At that point, you have successfully moved on and forgotten about your ex in a way that matters.
It may not be a complete erasure of their memory but it’s enough for you to move on with your life.
This entire process can and should take place without a rebound.
Related post: How to forget someone – 10 ways to move on
So, does a rebound relationship make you forget your ex? Yes, a rebound does make you forget your ex but for the shortest amount of time. It’s temporary. The thought or memory of your ex cannot be erased in this manner.
Rebound relationships tend to offer temporary relief from the pain associated with a breakup.
Unfortunately, with time, those thoughts and feelings will flood your heart because they can’t be overwritten with someone else.
The best way to move on and forget someone is to allow life experiences and time to work it’s magic.
Being alone also speeds up this process because it forces you to work through all the emotions you feel for your ex until they no longer have any hold or control over you.
In the long run, being single and working through a breakup is more effective than a rebound relationship.
With that being said, I hope you found this article on whether rebound relationships make you forget your ex to be eye-opening and thought-provoking. If you have any questions on this topic, feel free to ask them in the comment section below and I’ll be sure to reply.