You may have recently been on a date with a wonderful, charming person who knocks your socks off. They are caring, interesting and exciting but you’ve realized they’re a serial dater. Which begs the question, do serial daters ever marry?
Honestly, yes and no. A serial dater will marry if they meet someone who is capable of being more in control than they are. In other scenarios, a serial dater may never marry because the thrill of the chase is far too exciting.
It all boils down to an individual case.
There are a number of factors to consider, such as:
- The age of the serial dater
- How long has his or her longest relationship lasted
- How open they are to marriage
- How open they are in general
- Whether they commitment-phobes or not
Someone who is in their late 30’s to 40’s, never married, barely been in a long term relationship in the last decade, seems cagey about sharing too much of their personal life and shows no desire to settle down will rarely ever marry.
This may not be the case for everyone but there’s a strong probability when all these factors align.
Someone who is in their early 20’s may also be more inclined to keep dating than to get married because age is on their side.
However, given the age, there is a fair chance that such a person can make a turn around if the right person comes along and knows how to maintain the attraction and excitement.
Okay, let’s talk about how to deal with a serial dater.
1. Never Chase No Matter What
You’ll chase him or her straight into the arms of the next person in line. That’s just how it is with someone who is a serial dater.
At all times, you want to try and maintain the position of the one steering the direction of the interaction and romance.
You can’t do that by chasing. Chasing places you in the position of a dominant pursuer.
That never translates well with a serial dater during the early stages.
So when you don’t hear from a serial dater, don’t reach out more than once. Let him or her wait before you do as well.
2. Maintain The Thrill Of The Chase Much Longer Than Normal
For any normal person, the prize is a romantic relationship with the person we’re into.
It’s not as clear cut with a serial dater.
For them, the stages leading up to a real romance is the prize. They thrive on the thrill of dating and uncertainty.
Not knowing where they stand with you and how you feel keeps them on their toes.
The anticipation and excitement of unwrapping you like a gift are what keeps them hooked longer than normal.
Don’t completely divulge how you feel until you feel like they are hooked and want to have something more serious.
In other words, just be more mysterious.
3. Engage Them On A Deeper Level Beyond Attraction
A serial dater is accustomed to keeping things casual and superficial.
They may even try to sleep with you but keep walls of personal and emotional barriers up.
By shifting the focus onto them and keeping the flow of the interaction about connecting on an emotional and personal level, you break through that superficial wall they put up.
This brings about a rapport and connection that is much more compelling long term.
It’s easy to remember a pretty face but it’s almost impossible to forget a beautiful soul with who you connect.
Take that into consideration the next time you go on a date with a serial dater.
Here’s a list of amazing first date questions.
4. Be The One To Keep It Non-Commital
If you truly believe you are the prize, then you wouldn’t just give yourself to someone unworthy, right?
You would have to see if they pass all your tests or tick all the boxes.
As time goes on, as they earn your trust and love, you would eventually be willing to embrace a relationship with someone.
In most cases, the role of the pursuer and chaser is flexible. Depending on time and circumstance, the roles could easily reverse.
During the stage of dating a serial dater, be the one to hold off giving yourself to him or her.
This places the other party in a position of pursuing you or not. This will weed out those who are genuinely interested in you from those who are just looking to kill some time.
By keeping it non-committal at first, you remove the fear and pressure experienced by someone who is afraid of commitment.
This allows him or her to let down their walls and open up to you on a deeper level.
As time goes on, the idea of a serious or committed relationship like marriage becomes their idea. When it’s their idea, there’s no room for pressure or cold feet because they are in a state of calm and passion.
They feel as if they’re in control of the situation and that is comforting to someone who is a serial dater.
5. Be Willing To Walk Away
Someone who knows they have you wrapped around their finger isn’t going to be in an emergency to lock you down.
Part of hooking a serial dater is the unspoken understanding that you are willing to walk away if the deal you get isn’t one that makes you feel good.
This also projects a sense of strength, confidence and dignity that are all extremely attractive traits in someone.
If a serial dater has no intention of having anything serious down the road, be willing to walk away and mean it.
Do You Really Want To Marry A Serial Dater?
At the end of the day, no matter how many things we may try and tweak in our approach, if someone isn’t prepared to get married then you can’t force them too.
You could give them an ultimatum or play different games but none of that truly sets you up to have a wonderful loving story.
The idea of this article is to improve your chances of bagging a serial dater who isn’t too far gone and is open to commitment.
Think about yourself for a minute.
Do you want someone who is half invested in you or someone who is dying to start a life with you?
I’d always pick the latter.
How about you?
With that being said, I really hope you find an amazing love story and go on to have the marriage of your dreams.
If you need coaching or require some advice on a relationship or dating emergency, you can visit my services page and get in contact. I offer email coaching and emergency email advice within 24 hours of receipt.