Do male dumpers always come back or is that just an incorrect stereotype designed to waste your time? There are a number of factors that must be met or satisfied before men come back. Here’s what you need to know.
As long as a woman hasn’t done anything to break his heart or destroy the trust in the relationship, there’s a strong probability that male dumpers always come back. A deep attachment with residual attraction creates a compelling argument to reconnect with an ex that a man has dumped.
Except for the top 10% of males on the planet who are exceptionally good looking, rich, well connected, and popular, most men have a difficult time finding women that they consider to be a catch.
Men do not have as many options as women do.
There’s a reason for this.
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The Reason Why Men Go Back To Their Exes
Men are driven by physical attraction whereas women are driven by deeper desires. Also, the standards for sexual attraction differ from other forms of attraction in men. This means that a man can find most women sexually attractive.
This is what accounts for the massive disparity between the amount of attention women have online than what men have.
With all of this attention from men, whether it’s wanted or unwanted, women are far more selective and much less keen to invest as compared to men.
As an ever increasing problem with the rise of social media and dating apps, it’s much harder to deeply attach and connect with people.
The right time and circumstances with a touch of luck is needed and that doesn’t happen all the time.
I also believe that intense, passionate, and special love doesn’t come along easily.
Sometimes, it takes a couple of years before you meet someone who inspires the awakening of those dormant feelings.
Until then, men and women have to grapple with loneliness, doubt, fear, desire, sadness, confusion, and uncertainty.
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If we are to believe the scenario which I described earlier about most men having a hard time meeting high quality women or getting as much attention as women do, then you can imagine how tough it is to deal with these emotions.
It’s tempting and comforting to drift back into familiar waters.
This is one of the reasons why male dumpers always come back.
Remembering what they had and being comforted by the warm and sad embrace of nostalgia compels most men to reconsider their decision.
Either this makes them come back with the intention to reconcile or for some attention.
The point is, they come back.
There’s another reason why male dumpers always come back and that is because of love.
It’s not untrue that people often undervalue what they have and overvalue their ability to get something or someone else.
You may know this as the grass is greener on the other side syndrome.
Unless you are practicing daily gratitude for your relationship, it’s easy to fall into this trap. We all suffer from the shiny object syndrome from time to time but we have to exercise maturity and love during these flare ups.
Perhaps, ending the relationship and experiencing distance and space from you rekindles that burning passion he once had.
Perhaps, it made him evaluate everything and he realized that what he shared with you was special and true.
I’m not saying that this is going to be the case but it’s a possibility.
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I’ve seen people reconcile and fall deeply in love with each other again. But, it only occurred when the dumper came back and made every bit of effort to fix what they broke or damaged.
It had to be their idea and they had to work to convince the other person that they made a mistake.
If you don’t want to be burdened with insecurity and fear, reconciliation has to be the dumper’s idea.
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Here’s What You Need To Do To Get A Guy Back
1. Don’t beg or plead for attention
Observe most men and you’ll often find that they subscribe to the same belief – scarcity breeds value.
Men feel masculine and valuable via challenges.
This is why so many men are attracted to women who are hard to get.
It poses a challenge to their masculine core.
A woman who doesn’t beg or plead for attention from a man comes across as more of a challenge than those who do.
If a man dumps a woman and she hasn’t done anything to betray him, the most likely reason for this is because he found someone else or he lost attraction.
In both cases, attraction is the metric that influences his decision the most.
By not begging and pleading with him for attention, you are behaving like a woman who has good self esteem and value.
In other words, you’re behaving like someone who is attractive and it will have a positive effect on his opinion of you.
2. Walk away and don’t look back
The greatest negotiating position is being able to walk away and mean it.
The majority of people who remain in contact with an ex after being dumped almost always get friendzoned, used, or eventually ignored and replaced.
Unless you want to be friends with your ex with the intention of moving on, you shouldn’t remain in contact with him.
By amplifying the effects or consequences of his decision, you create the greatest chance of him coming back to you.
During silence, the dumper has to face loneliness, uncertainty, anxiety, loneliness, and sudden change without the comfort of your presence.
The dumper can try to rebound or casually date, but this will eventually amplify their loneliness and doubt because you cannot replace one person with another.
There isn’t a guarantee that your ex will come back but it gives you the best chance of reconciling.
The key to no contact is to focus on moving on.
Let reconciliation be a possible side effect of you trying to accept, heal, and move on from your ex.
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3. Focus on improving yourself
Sometimes, an ex will come back to determine whether they made a mistake by leaving.
For the most part, you want to be yourself.
But, you want to also improve yourself in little ways.
Think about what he finds most attractive about you and amplify those attributes.
That’s how you create an even more compelling case for him to reconsider his decision to end the relationship.
At the same time, I’m sure that you feel quite run down. Most breakups cause some damage to self-esteem.
By channeling your pain towards self improvement, you can avoid partaking in vices or activities that create more feelings of ongoing suffering and self-loathing.
I’ve experienced the most growth during hardship. More importantly, when I chose to do something positive despite being overcome by sadness and pain.
4. Let him wonder about you
Most people are curious creatures.
When you insert a great deal of attachment and shared experiences, the need for clarity and connection is astronomical.
By limiting access to yourself and not posting anything related to the breakup or how you feel online, you will amplify whatever curiosity he has about you.
He’ll wonder about who you’re talking to, whether you met someone else, whether you still care about him, and what you’re up to in life.
If he still has an interest in you and still finds you relatively attractive, the overwhelming urge to come back will be undeniable.
When he does reach out, you want to maintain some degree of indifference and mystery until he brings up seeing you or getting back together.
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Final Thoughts
Unless a man has lost all attraction for you, feels betrayed, never loved you, or has met someone else, he’ll always come back.
But, what’s more important is what you choose to do with your life whether he comes back or not.
Even if he does, ask yourself whether you want to be with someone who isn’t sure about you.
Do you want to waste your time on someone who walks away from you time and time again? Do you feel like you deserve someone better? Is this man good and worthy of your time and attention?
Think about these things before you enter a relationship with someone for the second time.
That brings us to the end of this article on do male dumpers always come back. I hope you found it to be helpful and comforting. If you would like my help, check out my services pages for more information on how to get in contact with me.