After going through a breakup or losing someone you liked, you’ll often wonder to yourself, do exes always come back?
No, exes don’t always come back. If they have moved on, made peace with the past or absolutely hate you, then your ex will not come back.
It’s not the answer most people are looking for but it’s the truth.
Sometimes your ex will leave and never look back. Is that a bad thing? Not necessarily.
Perhaps it’s best to walk away from each other and start over.
Most of the relationships you will have in your life are going to end. Their conclusion can come naturally by outgrowing each other or through a mishap like a misunderstanding, incompatibility or worse, infidelity.
Let’s examine some of the reasons listed above for why exes don’t always come back.
1. They moved on
Sometimes enough time passes that people move on from an old relationship. They may care about you or they may not care at all.
Most people who break up and plan on moving on eventually do meet other people.
If someone manages to click with them, there’s a fair and reasonable likelihood that they will move on to a new relationship.
Being in a new relationship often comes with the honeymoon phase which can last for up to years.
During that time, your ex could have fallen so deeply in love with their new partner that looking at the past is no longer something they consider.
Trust me, writing that is not easy on me but it’s the truth.
If you’d like to read more about moving on after a breakup, check out this elaborate guide on the topic.
2. They made peace with the past
Perhaps your ex hasn’t moved on with someone else but that doesn’t automatically mean that they are hung up on you.
The healthy way of moving on after a breakup dictates taking time to be alone and working through your heartbreak.
If your ex has taken this approach, there’s a chance of him or her completely making peace with the end of the relationship.
This is often followed by an evolution of their feelings.
Rather than being in love with you romantically, those feelings have evolved into a non-romantic love that doesn’t desire a relationship with you anymore.
So even if they contact you, it’s not to come back in hopes of reigniting the fire of romance that once existed between you two.
3. They hate you
Look, if you broke your ex’s heart in a way that leaves them scarred or traumatized, you can’t blame him or her for hating you.
This is particularly the case when someone hurts their partner through lies, deceit and infidelity.
Breaking someone’s heart along with their trust is a recipe for disaster. Rather than goodwill, it burns bridges.
Instead of you both being able to move on peacefully, there’s a load of baggage to be dealt with.
If that happens to be the case, then don’t be surprised if your ex hates you and never wants to hear from you again let alone come back to you.
When and why do exes come back?
Usually, an ex will come back into the picture if they have unresolved feelings for you.
If you have been dumped and you initiated no contact, it’s common for your ex to come back after some time has elapsed.
You can read more about that in this article but to sum it up – your ex will come back to find out why you haven’t chased after them or because they’re scared to have made a mistake by ending the relationship.
Exes also come back in situations when the two of you have a history of breaking up and making up. Although this isn’t healthy, it’s not uncommon to see.
Your ex may also come back when he or she has been dumped or ghosted by someone they were pursuing.
Now that they have been rejected and fear to be alone, their heart is distressed and it encourages them to reach out to their ex.
Based on the above reasons for why exes come back, it’s extremely difficult to pinpoint an exact period upon which an ex will come back.
It could be anywhere from a few weeks, a few months to even a few years.
In that time, you’re much better off moving on with your life. Time is too precious to be spent hoping someone comes back to you after they opted to leave.
What should you do when your ex comes back?
Honestly, that is for you to decide. But, when your ex comes back, avoid bringing up the breakup. You can talk about the time apart as long as you take a positive approach.
Ideally, enter the conversation or interaction as if it’s the first time you’re courting each other.
The only thing I would suggest is don’t initiate all of the effort if you have been dumped.
Wait until your ex makes a move or brings up the possibility of getting back together.
Based on what happened during the relationship and breakup, you should carefully consider whether it’s worth rekindling things with your ex just because he or she came back.
Think about your own happiness and future.
Don’t be overcome and overwhelmed by the intense emotion you will experience when your ex comes back.
Try to remain focused on doing what’s best for your happiness.
The best thing you can do is listen to your gut. That’s the only way I know how to avoid feeling regret in life.
Just to sum it up
Do exes always come back? No. It depends on the circumstances that caused the breakup and what happened after the split.
There are 3 main instances when your ex may not come back and they are as follows:
- They moved on.
- They made peace with the past.
- They hate you.
When your ex does come back, their motivation for doing so could vary for a number of different reasons.
If you initiated no contact, it improves the likelihood of them coming back especially if you were dumped.
Avoid bringing up the breakup and focus on having a good time if they do come back.
More than anything, consider whether it’s healthy and in your best interest to entertain your ex when they come back.
Please share your opinions on the topic in the comment section below. I’d love to hear what you think.
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