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12 Dating Tips For Shy Girls To Boost Your Confidence

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If you’re shy and struggling with your dating life, then this article is exactly what you need because I’m going to share dating tips for shy girls that will drastically boost your confidence and improve your love life.

Being shy is not a handicap! It’s not a dealbreaker and it’s definitely not unattractive.

If you understand how to use shyness to your advantage, it can actually make you more attractive and desired.

Here’s a quick overview of the 12 dating tips for shy girls.

  • Text a guy for a while before meeting him.
  • Embrace your shyness.
  • Meet people in a familiar location to feel more comfortable.
  • Suggest doing activities rather than coffee dates.
  • Get in the habit of giving your opinion.
  • Smile or share something interesting during moments of awkward silence.
  • Ask him questions when you feel overwhelmed.
  • Move at your own pace.
  • Make an effort to look your best.
  • Practice making eye contact.
  • Use body language to show him you’re interested.
  • Write him a letter or note.

Now let’s take a closer look at how to implement these dating tips for shy girls in real life. 

1. Text a guy for a while before meeting him

Meeting a new guy who is practically a stranger can be extremely daunting to a shy girl. 

You may not know what to expect from him and the uncertainty of whether there’s any chemistry may intimidate you unnecessarily.

In such a case, I would actually advise you to text him for a bit before agreeing to go out on a date with him.

Using this approach, you can ask him some questions you might be too shy to ask in person and his answers will give you a rough idea of whether this guy is someone you would like to know. 

Additionally, texting frequently during the early stages of courtship will create some rapport that will make in-person communication far easier for you. 

Also, it gives you something to reference when you meet for the first time on a date. 

I would just caution you against getting too comfortable with texting because you may end up postponing a date until too much time has lapsed and one of you has lost interest or you’ve both fallen into a comfort zone that doesn’t push the potential relationship further. 

Related post: Should I text my crush?

2. Embrace your shyness

I’ve recently been studying a lot about anxiety and what I’ve come to realize is that when you fight the feeling, you end up giving more power to it.

To put it simply, when an intrusive or scary thought pops into your mind and is accompanied by nervousness or shyness, battling with that thought and feeling will only feed its intensity.

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What you have to practice doing is accepting the shyness, embracing it and allowing those feelings of shyness and anxiety to run through you at their own pace.

Don’t try to suppress the feeling or evade it. 

This will just keep you stuck in a loop. 

Face the feeling and thoughts but don’t allow them to dictate what you do.

In time, the control it has over you will subside and you’ll be able to date even though you’re feeling shy and nervous. 

To be honest, being shy or nervous isn’t something to be embarrassed about. 

3. Meet people in a familiar location to feel more comfortable

When you are dealing with a lot of anxiety, nervousness and shyness, the best thing to do is minimize the number of elements that contribute to those feelings.

I think this is one of those dating tips for shy girls that will be most beneficial because it’s an easy and practical tip that can help you enjoy dates. 

By choosing a location that you are familiar with, you will drastically reduce the amount of nerves you feel.

You’re already accustomed to the environment, you’ve probably made memories at this place with other people and it’s somewhere that your brain associated with comfort.

What you’ll find is that it becomes easier to let your guard down and be comfortable in a known location than it is to roam around a new and unexplored spot without any safe zones at your disposal. 

Also, in this day and age, I really think it’s a good and safe idea for women to meet new men in locations you know pretty well. 

4. Suggest doing activities rather than coffee dates

If sitting across a table from a stranger who is checking you out and is trying to have a conversation is too intimidating for you, just don’t do it.

You don’t have to be so orthodox. 

Nothing is stopping you from suggesting a fun activity that you enjoy like hiking or a walk at the beach.

Not only will you have something to ease your nerves but the act of being outside or doing something will distract you from being all that concerned by what he’s thinking or how you’re behaving.

Also, he’ll get to witness you having fun and being your most jovial self. This will work to your advantage when making a first impression in person. 

Make a list of all the activities you enjoy partaking in and suggest them as date ideas.

When you have this list on hand, it’s really easy to set up dates that accommodate your shy nature.

Related post: 50 fun first date ideas

5. Get in the habit of giving your opinion

Just because you’re shy doesn’t mean that what you have to say isn’t important or doesn’t need to be said.

The whole point of a date is to get to know someone on a personal level.

As long as you’re respectful, a differing opinion can create a stimulating conversation that allows both of you to be entertained and engaged.

This is something that you will have to practice on a regular basis. 

If you’re too shy to do it on a date right now, start giving your opinion on your surroundings or events to friends and family.

Improve this by talking to strangers and when you build up a base, try it with people you date.

Do this for long enough and eventually, it will be something you have absolutely no problem doing. 

Trust me when I tell you that people you date want to know what you’re thinking.

6. Smile or share something interesting during moments of awkward silence

Another dating tip for shy girls that is often overlooked is the importance of smiling or talking about something you like when challenged with shyness.

Silence can be awkward. 

You don’t have to deliver a speech but there’s absolutely nothing wrong about bringing up mundane topics to break the ice.

You can talk about the weather, news, the environment or general things you’re looking forward to.

Once you do this, he’ll engage you and via this engagement, you’ll find more topics to discuss and talk about. 

7. Ask him questions when you feel overwhelmed

Another useful dating tip for shy girls is to ask questions. I know how daunting and overwhelming it is when someone is looking at you waiting for you to say something.

When the attention is on you, it just adds more to the shyness and nerves.

An easy way to deflect this attention and shift it onto the other person is to control the flow of the conversation.

This can be done by asking questions to a guy. What you’re looking for are questions that are open-ended.

In other words, they must require information beyond Yes or No so that he ends up discussing things in detail.

By doing this, he’ll end up sharing more about himself and this will prompt more questions from you.

The conversation will now rest on his shoulders and you can take a moment to exhale. 

At the same time, you’ll open him up and this will help you to gauge whether this is a guy you can connect with or not. 

Related post: 100 first date questions you have to ask

8. Move at your own pace

Look, even though it feels like you have to keep up with those around you or the person you’re dating, you don’t have to.

Everyone falls in love at their own pace. This is something that I discussed thoroughly in my article on how long it takes to fall in love.

If you would prefer to move things at a slower pace, that’s okay. 

You’re not obliged to do anything you don’t want to do.

And if the person you’re dating truly respects you, they’ll completely understand and be more than accommodating of your needs. 

Once that pressure is lifted off your shoulders, you’ll enjoy your dating life a lot more because you won’t be so overwhelmed and the shyness will subside. 

9. Make an effort to look your best

If there’s one thing that I know for sure, it’s that if you look good, you feel good and if you feel good, you do good. 

When you have fewer things to be self-conscious about, your ability to look beyond your shyness and to be more assertive will drastically improve.

It’s also respectable when someone makes an effort to look good for their date. 

It makes a good first impression and you’re also dictating the standards you’re trying to set. 

Style your hair, use your best-fitted clothes, make sure you smell good, highlight your best features and look fresh. 

You’ll feel better about yourself and your date will find you to be more attractive. 

Related post: How to become the hottest version of yourself

10. Practice making eye contact

One of the hardest things to do when you’re shy and nervous is to make eye contact. I remember a time when I used to suffer from acne and I was so self-conscious that I’d look at the ground when talking to people.

I was just too shy and my confidence wasn’t where it’s at now.

Later in life, I realized that confidence is not about being flawless.

True confidence is complete acceptance of your flaws and making the decision to wear them with humility.

The less conscious or bothered you are of those flaws, the less likely others are to really notice them or to care about them.

A great way of engaging someone while also projecting and building confidence is to frequently make eye contact with them.

You can look away whenever you need to but try to get a few seconds of eye contact every minute or so.

This will make you seem more confident while also asserting that you are present and paying attention to your date. 

Consider this one of those dating tips for shy girls that need to be implemented immediately and always.  

11. Use body language to show him you’re interested

When words fail you and being shy prevents you from expressing your interest in someone, the next best thing at your disposal is body language.

Things like playing with your hair, maintaining eye contact, smiling often, giggling at silly jokes, biting your lips while looking at his and being closer to him physically are subtle but effective signs of attraction.

Any guy who understands even a bit about body language will know that all these things are signs you are developing feelings and that you’re attracted to him.

This negates the need of verbalizing your attraction when shyness prevents you from saying it out loud. 

12. Write him a letter or note

If words fail you and the confidence to use your body language isn’t where it needs to be right now, you can always resort to a sweet and romantic gesture.

Any time I’ve received a letter or note from a girl, I’ve loved it.

There’s something really sweet and touching about it.

And if you’re dealing with a guy who is a romantic at heart or who cherishes sentimental goods, he’ll really appreciate a letter from you. 

Try not to write letters that are too extreme. 

In other words, keep it short, sweet and romantic.

Don’t write an essay for him.

Keep it simple and you’ll be fine. 

In conclusion

I just want you to know that just because you’re shy doesn’t mean that you can’t be breathtaking and super fun to be around. 

Most guys who have some depth to their character will have the patience and understanding to accommodate your shyness.

At the end of the day, you just take slightly longer to open up and be comfortable around someone but once you do, I’m more than certain that you are extremely fun to be with. 

And the guy who actually puts in the work will be the lucky one to find out just how amazing you can be.

One thing you must keep in mind is that these dating tips for shy girls require effort and consistency. 

You have to implement them into your life and optimize them until you find a way to handle your shyness on dates. 

With that being said, I hope you enjoyed this article on dating tips for shy girls. If so, please feel free to subscribe to my newsletter or leave a comment down below to share your thoughts.

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