Quite recently I was asked an interesting question and it was the following, can you love too much in a relationship?
Turns out you can love too much in a relationship. In fact, many people find themselves in this situation and it isn’t as healthy as you would imagine.
It’s hard to identify the signs of someone loving too much in a relationship when you’re in it.
This is why I’m hoping that you pay attention to this article because it can save you from getting hurt or scaring your partner away.
The negative effects of loving too much in a relationship
During the honeymoon phase, most couples want to spend as much time with each other as humanly possible.
This is particularly true for couples who are young and lack the experience needed to navigate this beautiful time in their life.
Rather than maintain a healthy balance, you may find yourself calling your partner multiple times per day, showing up at their workplace unannounced or texting nonstop.
Your partner may indulge you at first but as time goes on and the novelty of your new relationship wears off, this kind of behavior starts to fall within the territory of neediness.
When your partner is unable to give you as much attention and love as you give, it creates an unhealthy balance in the relationship.
This may cause you to feel unloved and unwanted, making you chase after your partner more or lash out at them.
From being too loving to being too dramatic, the relationship can take a turn for the worse.
What started off as a strong desire to be together turned into an overwhelming dependency that drains you and your partner in the long run.
With that being said, here’s a list of all the negative effects of loving too much in a relationship.
- You risk becoming needy and clingy.
- There isn’t any space for your partner to miss you.
- It can be overwhelming and emotionally draining to both of you.
- You invest too much of yourself in the relationship causing you to feel used up or empty.
- It dulls the relationship.
That last particular point is something to take note of. Let’s draw a comparison to better understand this negative effect.
Imagine that you love eating brownies. It’s something you do once or twice a month after eating clean regularly. This treat is something you look forward too because it’s something you don’t indulge in all the time.
Now, imagine eating brownies every single day for every meal. Would you enjoy it as much as you did before? Would it be as exciting for you as it was before?
The answer is no.
Because you overindulged. What makes something special isn’t constant access and possession of it.
On the contrary, we enjoy things that are not available to us all the time.
If it were, it wouldn’t be special, it would be normal.
And that’s the risk you run by being too loving. It becomes normal and almost stale. Then you find yourself looking for new ways to be more loving and more exciting.
This feeds into an unhealthy and unmaintainable cycle that steals the true joy, happiness and excitement of a relationship.
Go with the flow and don’t force love
I’ve come to realize that much like life, relationships benefit the most when you allow things to flow organically.
By forcing things to be a particular way, it only places an unnecessary burden and stress on you and your significant other.
You must enjoy life holistically. Allow yourself and your partner to enjoy time away from each other. Why? Because this will make both of you appreciate the time you spend together more.
In most relationships, if you give your significant other the opportunity to be loving and caring, they often will.
Rather than be clingy and needy, let your partner come to you. Similarly, they’ll do the same for you which will result in both of you wanting to spend time together and making a mutual effort.
Trust me when I tell you that equal effort is the healthiest and best way to develop love in a relationship.
It’s easy and exciting to maintain as well.
What can you do if you’ve been too loving in a relationship
Start by reducing the amount of time you spend with each other if it’s all the time.
During that time apart, avoid texting and calling your significant partner all the time.
If anything, spend that time taking care of yourself and focusing on your life.
By focusing on self-improvement, it will reflect in your character and overall mood which will make you more desirable and fun to be around.
Furthermore, working on your life helps you create a healthy situation for a serious relationship that can transition into a marriage one day if that’s what you both desire.
Apart from that, focus on having a good time as well.
You don’t have to constantly be in a romantic mode with your partner.
Sometimes, a good conversation with a desire to have normal fun can lead to extremely memorable experiences.
Friendship is just as much a part of healthy relationships as romance is. If you can be a good friend to your lover as well, it will benefit the relationship tremendously.
The conversations will flow easier and the time you spend with each other will be far more dynamic and entertaining.
Lastly, give your partner the space to come to you.
It’s not about ignoring each other but simply spending some time apart and waiting on him or her to reach out, especially if they are the ones who are busy.
Let him or her take care of whatever work or issue is going on in their life, be supportive and allow them to miss you.
When they come to you, it will be completely of their own volition which obviously means that they desire your presence and energy.
In such a case, you rarely ever feel unwanted or undesired!
I hope by now, you have clarity in regards to the question of can you love too much in a relationship.
Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.