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Am I Feeling Relationship Anxiety Or Falling Out Of Love?

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relationship anxiety, falling out of love

In my early years, I couldn’t distinguish between infatuation and love. In my later years, the distinguishing issue was between falling in and out of love.

At the same time, anxiety has been at an all-time high. I’m not sure if our time in lockdown caused anxiety for many or if it forced us to look at life more closely, which has brought our uncertainty, dissatisfaction, and insecurities to light.

I’m really not sure, but one thing is for certain: I’ve suffered from relationship anxiety many times since then.

I’ve also witnessed myself fall out of love, which in some ways causes anxiety as well.

Deciphering between simple relationship anxiety stemming from insecurities and fears from the feelings associated with falling out of love gets harder and harder as these years pass.

But I want to change that by sharing insights that will help you and me understand our true feelings.

Relationship Anxiety

Relationship anxiety is rooted in fear and insecurity. It is an intrinsic issue that exists outside of your actual feelings for your partner. The effects of anxiety may evoke the desire to flee your relationship, but this is merely a symptom of your anxiety rather than a real desire to break-up. Signs might include:

  1. Constantly questioning if your partner loves you or if the relationship will last.
  2. Overthinking minor conflicts or differences.
  3. Feeling unworthy of love or fearing abandonment.
  4. Wanting reassurance but still doubting it when given.
  5. Not feeling safe and secure within the relationship or yourself.

Key Questions to Ask Yourself:

  • Do I feel insecure about myself or the relationship?
  • Am I afraid of being vulnerable or getting hurt?
  • Have I felt similarly in past relationships?
  • How do I feel when I am around my partner?
  • Would I be happier without my partner?
  • What does my life look like without my relationship?

Falling Out of Love

Falling out of love often involves a decline in emotional connection or interest. Sometimes it can trigger feelings of anxiety, and other times it may trigger feelings of depression and apathy. Signs might include:

  1. Feeling bored, indifferent, or distant around your partner.
  2. Not feeling excited to spend time together.
  3. Viewing your partner’s quirks as irritating rather than endearing.
  4. Fantasizing about being single or with someone else.
  5. Frequently feeling annoyed, unattracted, or even turned off by your partner.
  6. Noticing, judging, and being bothered by your partner’s flaws.

Key Questions to Ask Yourself:

  • Do I genuinely enjoy my partner’s company and respect who they are?
  • Am I staying in this relationship out of guilt, fear, or obligation?
  • Do I feel an emotional or physical pull toward my partner?
  • Am I happy when I am with my partner?
  • Do I feel at peace in my relationship?
  • If my partner is doing everything they can to make me happy, do I still feel like my needs and desires are unfulfilled?
  • How would I feel without my partner or my relationship?

How to Tell the Difference

When relationship anxiety is the cause of your emotional turmoil, life, and your relationship will return to normal when you feel safe and secure. When you’re falling out of love with your partner, it doesn’t matter whether things are going well or not; you’ll be unable to shake the feeling of dissatisfaction and a lack of adoration or love.

Intensity and Pattern: Anxiety often fluctuates—it might feel worse after a fight or when stressed. Falling out of love tends to be a gradual, consistent decline that will persist all the time even if the relationship is stable and secure.

Connection with Partner: When you’re anxious, the thought of losing your partner might feel unbearable. If you’re falling out of love, you might feel indifferent about that possibility. Falling out of love creates anxiety in a similar way that a prisoner feels anxious.

Inner Work: Relationship anxiety often stems from personal insecurities. Falling out of love might stem from incompatibility or unmet emotional needs.

Above all else, an honest conversation with yourself will shed light on whether you’re feeling relationship anxiety or if you are falling out of love.

If you would like a step-by-step explanation on how to get an ex back or to re-attract someone who lost interest, grab a copy of my ebook called Reconcile. I put this guide together for serious students of the game who want to cut through the fluff and get results in their love life. Click Here To Check It Out! 

You can try everything you want to convince yourself otherwise, but if you’re falling out of love, you’ll know even beyond the anxiety and uncertainty you feel.

What to Do Next

For Anxiety: Focus on self-care and building confidence. Consider therapy to explore underlying fears. A deep and honest conversation with your partner might improve your emotional state. If you were to find ways to soothe your nervous system, chances are such that you’ll return to a loving and happy state with your partner.

For Falling Out of Love: Reflect on your needs and values. Open communication with your partner can help determine if the relationship is worth working on. Most importantly, indulge in the thought of a life without your partner, and if you feel some excitement and enthusiasm about it, you might be falling out of love. In which case, you may want to consider taking a break.

I think it’s also important for us to consider the ebbs and flow of love.

Just because you’re falling out of love doesn’t mean you can’t salvage your relationship. Examine the status of your relationship and determine if there are actual reasons for losing your feelings of love and desire.

If there are, attempt to rectify those behaviors.

Perhaps dedicate yourself to a few weeks or months of being dialed into your relationship. Try to rekindle the spark by dating each other again like you used to during those early days of being together.

In many cases, mundanity snuffs the joy, passion, and love out of a relationship, but that can be rectified by adding spontaneity, activity, and communication back into your partnership.

If none of that works, then you have to consider ending the relationship on a respectful and honest note.

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