You recently heard about your ex meeting someone new and the curiosity bug paid you a visit. A quick sneak peek turned into an obsession. Thankfully, these 5 ways to stop obsessing over your ex’s new partner are relatively easy to apply and work very quickly.
Here’s a quick overview of what you need to do:
Stop comparing yourself to your ex’s new partner, avoid stalking them on social media, initiate no contact with your ex, focus on meeting new people and come to terms with the fact that your ex will move on.
Life is perpetually in a state of movement. Even when we stand still, everything around us will continue to move forward.
As scary as this may be, this constant state of change allows each and every one of us the opportunity to start over in life.
Irrespective of how much time you’ve wasted up until now or how far gone you think you are, with the birth of a new sun, you can start over in life and let go of the past.
It may not be the easiest thing to do but you can move on from your ex. The fact that your ex has a new partner can even be a testament to this idea.
I’ve spoken about my own issues with moving on and how my sentimental nature often led me to an unhealthy obsession with the past.
I have been able to overcome this issue by applying a few simple techniques that have helped me to beat rumination which we will discuss below.
Like anything in life that requires effort, consistency is your best friend.
The longer you do it, the easier it will be. As time moves on, so will you. And eventually, you won’t even be thinking about your ex let alone his or her new partner.
Here’s another article on how to stop thinking about him.
5 Ways To Stop Obsessing Over Your Ex’s New Partner
1. Stop comparing yourself to your ex’s new partner
Given that you were once with your ex, the desire to sum up and compare your ex’s new partner to yourself is normal but that doesn’t mean it’s good for you.
On the contrary, it’s one of the most unhealthiest things you could do right now.
Comparison is the greatest thief of joy and contentment.
Not only will it make you unhappy but it creates this idea that you still remain within the romantic sphere of your ex.
Thing is, you don’t. The two of you are separated. Whoever he or she decides to date is none of your business and vice versa.
Even though that sounds harsh, it applies both ways. You should avoid comparing yourself to who they date and completely avoid comparing who you date to him or her.
The comparison will only give power to the past and a relationship that is no more. The best way to move on is to avoid using your ex and his or her new partner as a measuring stick for your love life.
Disassociate yourself from your ex in every way possible.
2. Avoid stalking them on social media
To avoid obsessing over your ex’s new partner, all you have to do is avoid them altogether.
Most people spend far too much time on social media. Cut it out. In the old days, our parents had the liberty of moving on from the past without having direct access to people who they once dated.
There was no Facebook or Instagram to stalk. The only interaction you had with someone was in person.
And the only way you could hear things about them was from mutual friends or through them directly.
Nowadays, we have to exercise extra control over our online behavior so as to avoid becoming obsessed with our exes.
Block your ex’s new partner and your ex on all social networking apps. Remove the source of your obsession altogether and watch how quickly you forget about it.
Even if this means removing social networking apps from your phone for a few weeks, do it!
Once you get passed the first week, it get’s incredibly easier to stop thinking and obsessing over your ex’s new partner.
3. Initiate no contact with your ex
If you have been dumped or you are struggling to get over your ex, the best thing to do is initiate no contact.
It is the most effective way of moving on from an ex and giving yourself the space needed to heal and meet new people.
By feeding your mind and heart new information about your ex through communication and social media, it keeps those feelings and thoughts alive.
Also, you risk exposing yourself to all these people your ex begin to date. Trust me, even the most secure people are bound to feel something by this.
Rather than put yourself through unnecessary stress and risk becoming a backup option, initiate the no contact rule and focus on moving from your ex once and for all.
No contact dictates zero communication with your ex online or offline.
4. Focus on meeting new people
Given that your mind is occupied with unnecessary thoughts of someone who has no impact on your life whatsoever, it makes far more sense focus on people you date instead.
People are dynamic.
And if you invest your time and effort into new people, they will elicit feelings and thoughts within you.
You have so much to gain from spending your valuable time on people who can make you happy than obsessing over your ex’s new partner.
Think about this – what does it achieve? Absolutely nothing.
You can think about him or her nonstop and it will change absolutely nothing about that situation. If there’s absolutely no point in thinking about your ex’s new partner, why bother at all?
What we focus on expands. So, if you can focus on other people in your life, they will begin to take over your thoughts and you will eventually stop thinking about your ex’s new partner.
5. Come to terms with the fact that your ex will move on
When you’ve truly made peace with the past and accepted the end of a relationship, who your ex decides to date will make no difference to you at all.
The reason why you’re obsessing over it is that you are still invested in what your ex does.
This could indicate that you are not completely over your ex or you have not fully processed the breakup. It’s particularly difficult for the one who has been dumped which is why I strongly recommend you follow the advice in this article.
The fact that your ex even has a new partner is reason enough to accept the end of that chapter in your life.
I’m not advising you to date someone just because your ex has a new partner. I’m simply telling you to accept the end of that relationship and have the intention of meeting your next best love story.
This can be achieved by initiating no contact and accepting the possibility of not getting closure from your ex in any way.
That’s perfectly okay. The only closure you need is from within.
Stop being so hard on yourself
It’s only a matter of time before you stop obsessing or keeping a track of your ex’s love life.
As long as you can make a conscious effort to focus on improving your life, thing will get better.
Look to the future. In it, I’m sure you won’t find your ex or their partners. Instead, you’ll find people who you love and who love you. People who choose to remain in your life.
Those are the people who deserve your undivided attention, investment and affection.
I hope you found this article to be insightful and these 5 ways on how to stop obsessing over your ex’s new partner proves to be effective in your life as well.
Please share your thoughts in the comment section below and let us know how you overcame this problem.