I recently got an email from a reader who was trying to get back with his ex and had initiated no contact. The subject line of this email read as follows – 2 weeks no contact should I give up? This is my answer.
No, do not give up after 2 weeks no contact because it can take up to 6 months to 12 months before your ex actually misses you enough to reach out or come back.
Most people don’t realize this but the best form of no contact is when it’s indefinite.
In other words, rather than waiting for a specific number of days, the goal is to use no contact for as long as possible until your ex contacts you.
Here’s a list of reasons why you should not give up after 2 weeks of no contact:
- It has not been enough time for your ex to start missing you.
- There’s no set period of time until your ex will get over their negative feelings about you or the relationship.
- You’re not going to be emotionally stable within 2 weeks of a breakup which makes you prone to poor decisions.
- You risk coming across as weak, needy or desperate if you break no contact just 2 weeks after starting it.
- It may not be enough time for your ex to figure out what they want and breaking no contact may pressurize or overwhelm them.
For all these reasons, I would strongly advise you against giving up after 2 weeks no contact.
Related post: How it feels to be in no contact
Why you shouldn’t end no contact
There’s a lot of poor information on the net about how the no contact rule should be employed for 30 days and following the prescription of this time, you can break no contact and reach out to your ex.
I don’t approve of this method because it’s presumptuous to assume that 30 days will be enough time for your ex to change their mind and feelings about breaking up.
No contact is designed to put as much distance between your ex and yourself until whatever negative feelings your ex has subsided.
In other words, if you messed up and drove your ex away, no contact facilitates the time and space needed for him or her to move on from those bad feelings to more positive ones.
It’s human nature to reflect on the past and be sentimental.
When nostalgia bites, it helps us to clutch onto those powerful and special memories we shared with someone who is no longer in our life.
Those nostalgic and sentimental feelings drown out all the reasons people have for leaving someone at best or at least compete with those feelings and cause doubt.
That can’t really happen if you keep in contact with your ex straight after a breakup.
Your ex needs to consider the possibility that they may never hear from you again.
That’s when true sentimentality and nostalgia take effect.
Think about this for a second – Do you think 2 weeks no contact is enough time for that to happen?
In my opinion and experience, no, it isn’t enough time.
I believe that it can take atleast a few months before your ex is missing you enough to reach out and come back.
Here’s another reason why you should not give up after 2 weeks of no contact – when your ex reaches out, you’ll know for sure that she’s interested in talking to you at the very least.
What that means is you don’t have to be anxious or uncertain of whether she hates you or dislikes you because she wouldn’t be talking to you after months if she did.
Additionally, waiting for your ex to contact ensures that you don’t look weak, needy or desperate after the breakup.
What we know, with certainty, is that these traits are no considered attractive at all.
Related post: 5 signs the no contact rule is working
How to use no contact correctly
I would strongly suggest that you read my elaborate guide on the no contact rule because it goes into detail about every facet of it and answers all your questions about the no contact rule.
Be that as it may, I still want to touch on how to use no contact correctly so that you avoid ruining your chances of getting an ex back.
When you decide to initiate no contact, try to do it on good terms with your ex.
You don’t need to block your ex on social media but I strongly recommend deleting their number from your phone and limiting their updates on your social media feed.
This will make it easier for you to deal with the distance between the two of you.
During the period of no contact, you are not to contact or interact with your ex in any way unless they directly message or call you.
Do not take social media likes as an excuse for breaking no contact. That’s not how this works.
Additionally, I would advise you to avoid liking or interacting with your ex on social media.
Don’t like or comment on any of their updates. No contact requires completely elimination of any and all contact with your ex.
Another important aspect of no contact is to do it indefinitely.
Don’t listen to those individuals who advise you to break no contact after 30 days.
Unless, of course, you made a huge mistake in the relationship and you’re waiting for an opportunity for your ex to cool down before trying to win them back again.
Lastly, when you enter no contact, don’t just sit around waiting for your ex to contact you.
That’s not going to help you at all.
You could end up wasting weeks or months of your life which could have been used on improving yourself.
The point of no contact isn’t to use some kind of strategy just to get an ex back.
It’s about taking the time to address your issues and learning from your mistakes so that you don’t repeat them.
And in the mean time, it gives your ex the opportunity to heal and move past those feelings if you’ve hurt them or done enough things wrong to push them away.
Related post: Will my ex come back after no contact?
So, I hope that I’ve been able to convince you not to give up after 2 weeks of no contact because it will take a lot more time for things to get better and for your ex to reach out.
Don’t just sit around waiting for him or her to come back.
Use this precious time of your life to heal and improve yourself as a person and partner.
If your ex comes back, they’ll be blown away by the improvements you’ve made and this will improve your chance of getting them back and not hurting them again.
And if your ex doesn’t come back, well you’d have learnt many lessons in this time that will benefit you in the future.
Additionally, you may actually end up making peace with the end of your relationship and moving on.
For now, just focus on being patient.
With that being said, I hope you found solace and guidance from this article that will help you make the right decision. Please head over to the comment section below and let me know if you’d like for me to write about a specific topic.